Posted on 08/23/2011 1:55:48 PM PDT by topher
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, August 22, 2011 (LifeSiteNews.com) – A recently retired New York Times reporter has penned a book in which she details how she followed through on a shocking pact to help her 88-year-old mother, Estelle, starve to death.
Julia Gross with her mother Estelle. In an excerpt from the book, “A Bittersweet Season,” published recently in the Daily Mail, Jane Gross describes her mother’s increasing dissatisfaction with life as her health deteriorated, and her mounting desire to die, despite the fact that she was not terminally ill.
“So here we were, my mother and I, wishing that she were terminally ill and feeling a bit creepy about it,” Gross writes about her conversations with her mother about her death wish.
Gross admits that there “was no pretending I hadn’t been part of her decision [to die], and had arguably even encouraged it,” but argues that she made sure that her mother, with whom she had never been particularly close, was “doing this for herself,” and not out of a desire to spare her children “trouble and expense.”
Finally, after her mother spelled out the words “N-O-W,” Gross met with staff at the hospice where her mother was being cared for, and thus began the lengthy and grueling process of her mother’s death by starvation and dehydration – a process that staff had told Gross would only last a week, but that actually lasted 13 days.
(Excerpt) Read more at lifesitenews.com ...
"I learned a lot when my Mom was dying. I learned that you really need to be surrounded by people who love you and will advocate for you and I learned to have a bit of concern about the medical community. You really REALLY need to have a loving family and I would hate to be alone in the world. I do NOT want the government or even my doctor making decisions for me. Ever."
I am not a MD so I am pinging hocndoc, who known a zillion times more than I do.
I do remember a doctor from Spain, Dr. Jose Espinosa, telling a group of us 25 years ago that pain management for the terminally ill was (even then) an issue that modern medicine had solved. He added that "I have never in all my years of practice seen 'intractable' pain. But I have seen 'intractable' doctors and nurses."
He said that with anger, too, in that the remedies for pain are there, but the medical staff sometimes does not, will not, or is not permitted to use them.
Is this true, hocndoc? Or anybody else with the training or experience to know?
I will! :)
I guess if you want to continue to insist I was saying what I was not I can’t do much about it. I’ve twice corrected you, I’m done.
I’m not sure why anyone would want to hand those decisions over to strangers.
I think some people actually don’t have any family, any loved ones, “anybody they can trust”. That’s very sad.
I can’t imagine what life must be like if you have not a single person you can trust with your life, but there seem to be a number of people like that. I have my theories on how that happens, but I’ll leave it there. I think those people need extra prayer.
Here's something that may be very useful for you. The Robert Powell Center for Medical Ethics put out this model "advance directive" (Living Will) document: they call theirs a "Will to Live".
Will to Live - Model Document (Link)
It's a legal statement they have prepared to be in conformity to state laws in every state. You can modify it to include your own particular preferences. But the basic intent is to make explicit three essential rights:
You may already have a document like this, but I think it's still worthwhile to read and compare. I think the "Will to Live" strikes just the right balance between over-treatment on one hand and under-treatment on the other, and includes nutrition/hydration as a form of "ordinary care" that should not be terminated unless it has become futile, i.e. the dying person's body can no longer tolerate it.
My father chose this "Will to Live" as his official advance document (I had Medical Power of Attorney), and I have signed one for myself. It gave me confidence and peace that I was making the right decisions.
Saying you don’t support something, then immediately afterwards you write stuff that goes on to support it, then get pissed at people for noticing it? I’m insisting because that’s exactly what you wrote.
If you said “I’m not for raising taxes, but why can’t we provide the same level of government services europe does” means you want more socialist taxes because everyone knows massive taxes fund european government services.
You saying “I’m not for euthanasia but why can’t we give the same care to people as we do terminal animals (ie put them down) - you’ve just negated your “I’m not advocating euthanasia” statement.
You have no wiggle room. We give dying people here better care than animals. We manage their pain with drugs, we have hospices, we have home care, we have tons of people that give them meds and care. Family members are involved in direct and indirect care of the dying. They are hardly neglected. The only thing you could be referencing when you talk about the care we give animals who are dying, is euthanasia.
And now, I’m done with you.
You just can’t let someone have the last word, can ya. Wonder why that is.
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