Posted on 08/07/2011 10:00:41 AM PDT by sinanju
"...Shopping for a wedding dress is strange. You have to make an appointment. You're expected to bring family and friends. The salespeople say things like, "You'll remember this forever."
When I bought my dress a few months ago, I couldn't stop thinking about how emotional it all was — and how expensive.
To figure out why wedding dresses cost so much, I went to New York International Bridal Week, a big trade show for the wedding-dress industry.
(snip)
A lot of that extra cost comes down to the word "wedding."
There's so much emotion tied to that word that's it's hard to put a number on it, but it's there. And Barge gets this. When she talks about her dresses, she is selling emotion.
"It's the dress of your life, and if there is ever one picture your [descendants] have of you it's the one in your wedding dress," she says.
That's a lot of pressure to put on a bride. Veronica Guerrieri was married last summer in her home country of Italy, and she says she felt it.
"They were trying hard to convince me that it was the best day of my life, that I shouldn't have thought about economics."
But not thinking about economics is hard for Guerrieri. She's an economist at the University of Chicago.
Guerrieri says we're part of the reason prices are so high: They're high because that is what we're willing to pay.
"I think that on average there is a lot of status and signaling going on wedding day," Guerrieri says.
A bride's dress can signal how wealthy she is, what her status in society is. But it can also signal how seriously she's taking this marriage..."
(Excerpt) Read more at npr.org ...
Yep...I worked on the selling end of Bridals in a very successful business. Wined and dined the Brides from start to finish. Everyone makes them “feel” special because in fact it really is a special day. But the costs of the dress are oftentimes more a stigma attached then the reality of what a dress looks like on the individual.
Some of the most beautiful dresses are those NOT expensive and when you fit the bride with a style well suited to her frame then it’s a go...
Now THAT makes sense! It’s not just the dress. It’s the bridesmaids’ & flower-girl dresses, flowers (at the church, at the reception, for the 22 bridesmaids & groomsmen), the showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties at locations ranging from Las Vegas to Hong Kong, the reception site, the caterer, the open bar, the engraved invitations & thank you notes, the visits to at least three registry venues, the establishment of a website. And all this after the happy couple has lived together for two years!
Best weddding I helped assist was a couple who sent out elopement notices that they were flying to the Bahamas with both sets of parents to be married in a simple chapel. There was no wedding dress....just a simple summer sundress. Upon their return they would host a picnic reception for all their friends.
The parents had a second honeymoon along with the newly weds....and what would have been spent on wedding attire etc. was an enjoyable getaway for all.
It can also signal how shallow she is, how frivolous with her parent's money, how swayed by what others think of her - and how easily she can be played by scammers who market expensive and totally useless things to her. A woman who spends more than $3,000 on a dress needs her head and values examined....
I disagree. People love luxury. If they can seriously afford it (or their parents can and wish to), why shouldn’t brides buy whatever dress they wish? First, if they are buying a custom or couture gown, they should understand the design industry and know quality so they are paying for actual work (hand beading, special silks, etc) and not buying a mass produced piece of crap sold at a falsely high price!
But people should not be mocked for buying yachts when they could buy little zodiacs, or ferraris when they could buy kias. If nothing else, buying luxury helps the economy!
Now, there is one other issue here. A middle class bride should find the prettiest dress in her budget. She should seek a dress that is affordable that shows off her best features. Borrow, rent, buy used. There are a lot of ways to look pretty that won’t take away money for their down payment. And every woman always needs to remember the #1 rule about fashion: Make Sure You Wear the Dress Rather Than Its Wearing You.
If you go to one of those Bridal Shops you will pay many times more for the dress than it’s actually worth.
My experience from 19 years ago was that they would not order the gown in your actual size. They get it 3 times bigger than you need and then charge you three times the real cost of the gown to “alter” it for you.
I got my dress directly from the designer outlet in Manhattan. It cost me 300.00 and they got me my exact size. No alterations needed. In the Bridal Shops the same gown went for 900.00.
I and my future father-in-law, along with some other people, built the set (chapel). I did lights and sound. My bride did the costumes and props. Future Mom-in-law took care of house. My family took care of refreshments. Invitations we silk-screened by hand. And so on.
We even made up a faux "theater program" for those invitees who would appreciate the gag.
How appropriate was this? My bride and I met backstage during the preparation and performance for a community theater production of Odd Couple. We courted backstage through the next two productions. Our wedding was the unofficial fourth one of the group's season, where she and I finally had the leading roles.
The woman who will NOT be satisfied with spending less than 30K for her wedding will also NOT be satisfied with her husband shortly after the wedding, when he cannot provide her with a never-ending princess life.
Of course, if your name is Kate and you ARE a princess, never mind. Go ahead and have a big fancy wedding.
We had a very inexpensive wedding (we paid for it ourselves). Twenty five years and three kids later, we're still married.
Save money on the dress and spend it on the reception.
If you are going to spend a ton of money on something like this, make sure you take a pre-honeymoon instead.
I wish I had, lesson learned.
Basically, you can take a picture of a wedding dress and get it made just for you in Hong Kong, Philippines, Thailand, India, or many other places while you relax at a resort.
We had a modest wedding as well. I bought my dress on sale and we had the reception at my parents home. Thirty years later, all is well.
I also don’t mind big fancy weddings if the people involved are rich or if the bride/groom are paying for it. I feel sorry for parents who think they must provide a wedding that costs half as much as their house.
For the same reason a dry cleaner will charge more for a woman’s blouse than man’s shirt.
Mine was $60.00 off the rack, winter white, tea length dress. Simply lovely. I had it in my suitcase in case we decided to elope, which we did. 24 years later, I love him even more that I could ever imagine, and he treats me like a cherished sweetheart. Couldn’t be happier...
How do you explain the grooms?
How can you say no to a beautiful daughter when she comes out of the dressing room with the perfect dress on? I will remember the look on her face that day forever. My 25 year old daughter jumped up and down in excitement like she did when she was little. I was lucky the dress was only $1,000.
I wouldn’t want to RENT a wedding dress—yuck! It’s not like renting a dinner jacket. But when I went shopping for a wedding dress and saw what a scam it was, I did an end-run: I bought a beautiful floor-length evening dress of ivory silk. It was no different from a wedding dress, except perhaps for being more simple and elegant than most of the foofy and/or sequined polyester dresses that are foisted upon young women. Got a lot of mileage out of that dress, and even though I spent a good deal of money on it, it was a great investment. It cost a quarter the price of many dresses made specifically for weddings.
Another possibility is to find a photo of a dress you like, buy some yards of silk, and have a good seamstress make the thing for you. This will cost a tenth of what a wedding dress might. You could do it for $400 total if you get the yardgoods on sale, and you’ll have a timeless dress you can cut down and wear repeatedly for many years.
I have always told my wife if I die in my sleep, slip me into a extra large hefty bag drag me to the curb and let the garbage guy pick me up.
Have a nice service, tell everybody you cremated me and take a nice cruise with what you saved
LOL
The old legend was that a diamond would turn cloudy if the wearer was unfaithful, a legend that, in my opinion, simply must have originated with some clever woman. The lady got the diamond and the gentleman a totally false sense of security. Beats the heck out of a chastity belt.
Indeed, for most women, wedding dresses are not astronomically priced, because they can’t afford astronomical prices.
As for being more expensive, they are only more expensive if you choose a detailed dress with lot’s of lace, etc., and you get what you pay for.
High end dresses exist to fleece rich parents of the bride, who equate money to love and to showcase lower end dresses.
If you want 300 hours of hand stiched rinestones and lace with seven layers of silk, you are going to have to pay for that.
I will never understand why women spend so much on a wedding dress. My wedding dress was actually a beautiful floor length white prom dress with a pink sash that I bought for $25 at a wedding store on sale after prom season. The dress had a full skirt that was made up of alternating ruffles of satin and lace. Since I was short I removed the pink sash and the bottom satin ruffle on the dress and used the white satin from the bottom ruffle to make a sash in white. The dress was reminiscent of a spanish style gown given all the ruffles so for the veil I used a mantilla comb a and mantilla a friend had brought me as a gift when they had traveled to Spain.
I made all my bouquets, corsages, boutineers, and the flower arrangements for the church and reception out of high quality silk flowers that I purchased wholesale. All the flowers cost me less than $50 to make and were absolutely beautiful.
The bridesmaids dresses were purchased at a Gunney Sax outlet store for $19.99 and were also beautiful full skirted dresses in pink trimmed with white lace, that complimented my own gown. The most expensive dress was the one I purchased for my niece who was the flower girl. Her dress was $45, but it was so adorable on her I couldn’t resist.
My niece was so cute that she ended up being chosen as flower girl for several other weddings that same year, and she was able to wear the same dress for those weddings as well, so the expense went a long way. The dress was still in great shape after she outgrew it, so it was passed on to other family members and friends for use at their weddings as well.
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