When my Father had his stroke and was paralyzed and unable to talk I watched tears run from his eyes as the medical staff talked about his condition in front of him like he was not there. They kept him on life support for 2 weeks, despite his living will asking for no heroics, until they had exhausted his medical benefits and then let him die from kidney failure 7 hours
I can assure you we can keep a ham sandwich “alive” indefinitely we want.
So I changed my career. I realized stroke and dementia are untreatable. However, at that time, 10+% of strokes happened during surgery. So I figured if I could prevent strokes, like the one that happened to my father, then I would have accomplished something worthwhile. So for the past 25 years I have dedicated my life and career to improving neurological outcomes following cardiac and orthopedic surgery. When I started, 5% of patients undergoing cardiopulmonary bypass had disabling strokes and 80% had evidence of brain injury.
My last analysis shows we have reduced obvious stroke to less than 1% and neurobehavioral deficits to under 10%. We did this by modifying how we deliver blood to the brain, how we manipulate the aorta, minimizing the use of blood products and improved monitoring. That is about 50,000 fewer strokes per year in the USA alone compared to 1990.
So I ask my critics - what have you done to alleviate human suffering and the indignity of debilitating neurologic decline other than assume the moral high ground? Held hands? Candle light vigils? Prayer? What other than bitching?
I (along with Mrreganaut) have devoted most of my life in caring for those who cannot care for themselves. What have I done? I have quit jobs to care for family members with dementia, I have moved, I have bathed, clothed, loved, cleaned up incontinence. I have made them feel loved and cared for. I have worked professionally caring for people whose children could or would not. I have been in the trenches every single day. I have made their last years as comfortable and joyous as they could be. MrR has been beside me, helping and supporting for since we were in High School and I had dropped out to go to college because it was easier to care for my Great-grandfather (Alzhiemer’s 17 years).
What I haven’t done is what you are doing, saying they would be better off dead because they are an inconvenience to others.
So, your claim of moral superiority falls flat with us.
“So I ask my critics - what have you done to alleviate human suffering and the indignity of debilitating neurologic decline other than assume the moral high ground? Held hands? Candle light vigils? Prayer? What other than bitching?”
Been primary caregiver for each of my ancestors who ended up needing it. Three, to be exact. Carried the casket for one. Provided backup for others who found themselves in the same predicament - meals, transportation, shift relief, or simply being a sympathetic ear. I might eat a pistol when my time nears, but I am not pulling anyone’s plug, or putting the weight of guilt on anyone else to pull mine.
I think, perhaps, that there has been some talking-past one another on this thread, and I apologize if I have said anything hurtful. The heart of your complaint is the treatment of your father by those who were supposed to be caregivers. This is the heart of my wife’s complaint, also.
Both of you responded with compassion, and did what you felt would alleviate suffering. However, the point of the article is: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? By improving medical technique, you have done much to prevent harm. Your fear of mistreatment in the face of this improvement goes to show that we have far to go in actual treatment of one another as individuals.
Not giving so-called caretakers medical justifications to withhold care is a frail safeguard against a state which rewards carelessness and heartlessness.
So anyone not a medical professional such as yourself has no worthy opinion or viewpoint? Is that what you are saying?
I’m not going to detail my personal life for you. But I will say that I am no stranger to caring for the dying.
Turning the medical profession and the government into executioners is not the answer to pain and suffering.
When my Father had his stroke and was paralyzed and unable to talk I watched tears run from his eyes as the medical staff talked about his condition in front of him like he was not there. They kept him on life support for 2 weeks, despite his living will asking for no heroics, until they had exhausted his medical benefits and then let him die from kidney failure 7 hours
Stroke patients are the lab rats of medicine. Good health coverage makes them more desirable. No one who is dying should be in a teaching hospital. The litle local hosptial, the nursing home or ones own homes are the places to be when dying.
I realize you’re no longer here, but this should be said anyway. My father suffered a stroke when in his late 50’s. He was disabled with no movement on one side, and unable to talk. Yet he was aware of his surroundings and was fully alert. My mother and I cared for him for years. He loved to watch the Cubs play ball, the Packers play football, and general TV. My best friend would come over (I was in my early 20’s and stayed home to help mom) and we’d have friends over. We’d get pizza and have a beer or two. We’d always have pizza available for mom & dad and he enjoyed immensely these little parties.
I’m now in my late 60’s. In ‘85 I had two heart attacks and required open heart surgery with a triple bypass. In ‘95 I suffered a stroke, though not a debilitating one. However, my bypass operation has essentially closed up and I’m kept alive on medication. I’ve since suffered another, much lesser stroke. Yet, I get along and life is enjoyable to me.
By your guideline, my dad should have been put to sleep; perhaps even me as well. Yet his enjoying his last years was something my mother and I would never forget, even though he was debilitated and apparently suffered dementia by your definition. She died happy, knowing she loved that man and did everything to make his lot a happy one.
Frankly, I feel sorry for you. You have little or no conception of the meaning of life, nor the will (with no regret) to make do with what one has. You’re driven by a clinical mindset, and the need to show your importance. Well, you’re not important. At least, no more than my dad was, my mother was, or I am. We are all God’s children, and it is God’s decision when He calls us home; not ours, and certainly not yours.
People like you who use your education to dictate life’s decisions are disgusting and a pall on society. My father, even in his illness, had more redeeming value than you could imagine. I’ll take one sick, disabled, yet willful person who cares about himself and others any day over one who holds so little value toward life. Please, don’t come back. Your kind is unwelcome in a community that values life from conception to God’s final call.