Posted on 06/22/2011 5:23:08 AM PDT by Kaslin
There's way too much fussin' and fightin' in politics, isn't there? In Rodney King's immortal words, "I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?"
CAN WE all get along, folks? Can we conservatives cooperate and show just a little bit more of that unity that our valiant President, Barack Obama, promised us all back in 2008?
Many of you reading this column are undoubtedly saying, "No, we can't afford to cooperate with the Left! When liberals say they want 'unity,' what they really mean is that we should give them everything they want and call it unity!"
That's very true.
Yet and still, the country wants us to reach out. They want us to work together. So, in the spirit of bipartisanship, I'd like to suggest some ways that we conservatives can stop being such selfish ogres and give those on the Left exactly what they want and much more importantly, what they deserve.
So, in the generous spirit of bipartisanship, here are ten ways that we can give liberals exactly what they SAY they want.
1) There are far too many people in our prisons who have been failed by our society. That certainly isn't their fault. That's why we need to release a few million prisoners into halfway houses in liberal neighborhoods.
2) America needs to lead the way in alternative energy; so it should be illegal for liberals to power their homes with anything other than windmills and solar energy. On the upside, since this will mean a lot of time in the dark, these liberals will gain the added bonus of being able to get back to nature.
3) Bodyguards for liberal politicians, celebrities, and athletes shouldn't be able to use guns. After all, people don't kill people; guns kill people -- so by removing the guns from those bodyguards, those people will be safer than ever!
4) We do need to make sure that everyone gets a "working wage." So, let's raise the minimum wage to $100 an hour. We can start by raising the salaries of chauffeurs, gardeners, nannies, cooks, and maids in Hollywood and expand from there until we all make at least $100 an hour and will thus, be rich! But wait....if we were all rich, then we'd all be exploitive and evil....ah, that's something to figure out in the next column.
5) We do need to bring illegal aliens "out of the shadows," which is why any illegal aliens captured in America who aren’t immediately deported should be shipped to Berkeley or San Francisco, where they can live in peace, use the schools, and collect government benefits until their trials...well, if they show up for their trials.
6) Union labor is important, which is why liberal businesses should be legally obligated to ONLY use unionized labor. Granted, that might mean long delays, their competitors dramatically undercutting them on costs, or even going out of business, but wouldn't that be worth it for those people if they got to put more money in the pockets of union members?
7) Fairness is very important. That's why we need to apply the Fairness Doctrine to newspaper editorial pages, MSNBC, Current TV, and the Huffington Post.
8) We all know animals (and trees) should have the same rights as human beings; so is it really worth it to save human lives if animals have suffered to make it possible? That's why it should be illegal to sell liberals insulin, antibiotics, drugs that fight AIDS/HIV and any other medicines that were made possible by testing that was done on animals.
9) Let's put salary caps in place to keep rich guys from earning money that they don't deserve. How about a maximum of $100,000 for any actor's appearance in a film? That seems fair, right? Wouldn't you agree to star in a major motion picture for $100,000?
10) Increasing diversity is an important goal; so we should set quotas to insure that every newspaper staff in America (and we can't forget MSNBC) have as many minorities present as there are in the population. It would also be nice if Netroots Nation wasn't as white as a snowstorm in Maine; so maybe next year some of those white, liberal attendees could give up their tickets to people of color.
Perhaps the top salary of any actor regarless of medium (screen, stage, radio, TV, internet, youtube, print, etc.) should be $45,000 a year...not per production/appearance. That way, they avoid the horrible label of being "rich" which I'm sure they don't want.
Also, since art for art's sake is the vaunted goal of all these professionals, anyone wishing to see/hear/read the "fruits" of these professional's labor, will no longer be required to pay admission. However, they will be asked - most respectfully - for a donation.
Last...there will be no such thing as "rights" to any repeated showings or performances accruing to the "artist". After all...why should they be allowed to drain the pockets of the working poor...of which...now, and hopefully, they will become an integral part?
Just as an afterthought...this #9 includes all - repeat ALL "professional" athletes regardless of sport.
click on image
Sorry but not every like-minded writer is worthy of his post.
Hawkins has relied on this numbered list schtick for far too long. This simple-minded article would be unworthy of a college newspaper op-ed page and Hawkins hasn’t grasped the ‘brevity is the soul of wit’ concept.
It is a good list.
*rme*
No one forced you to read the article
I don’t recall stating or implying that.
Furthermore, my comment was about Hawkins’ history and writing style which are fair game. If we demand fealty to all articles, all writers, all the time we are hewing close to DU territory.
I would like to see our next GOP President focus the entire Section 8 housing program on well-to-do suburbs and tony urban neighborhoods inhabited by Liberals.
As Jello Biafra once said, “I love blacks and gays and Latinos, as long as they don’t move next door”.
So, that is his style. And if you don’t like it, then don’t read it. It’s simple as that
Simple? No. Simplistic? Yes.
Actually, it’s ridiculous. How am I to know if I like the article if I don’t read it? That is not a rhetorical question.
I’ve read countless articles by countless authors. Some I agree with, some I don’t, even if they are by widely-recognized giants of the genre such as Krauthammer or Pruden. It’s called free thought and critical thinking, something that I imagined was encouraged on this site.
I’m not sure why you are getting so defensive.
Did you write the article? No.
Have I read Hawkins in the past? Yes.
Is his writing occasionally to frequently lacking in form and/or substance? Yes again.
Am I entitled to click and read an article to assess whether that has changed? Yes again.
Do all articles posted have to garner total agreement and/or approval here? No, but you seem to be suggesting that should be the case.
No mention of liberals paying the tax rates that they want to force on everyone?
How about making all liberals use a medical system parallel to the VA, since they love government medical care so much.
It all comes down to the idea that we need to separate them from us, and they can implement their superior ideas in an environment where they are, and we are not, affected by them.
Biden’s After Income-Tax 2009 Income is $249K, Only $4,820 goes for Charity
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100415/ap_on_bi_ge/us_obamas_taxes
“It’s time to pay your fair share....time to be patriotic.”
(A liberal’s compassion is limited only by the size of someone else’s wallet.)
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