Lessons from an Anthony Weiner Roast

Townhall.com ^ | June 19, 2011 | Doug Giles

[Kaslin]

Sin is a part of the human condition. If you don’t believe me, ride shotgun with me down I-95 during rush hour in Miami, and you’ll see me manifest more demons than Emily Rose would after 3 a.m.

Y’know, we’d all love to think that we are angels, but if the truth be told, more than likely we wouldn’t want our lives or thoughts shown on YouTube for our grandmothers to see—unless, of course, you’re Snooki and don’t give a shizzle that everyone and their dog knows that you’re a pirate hooker. Make that money, girl. Hey, if you’re going to die of alcohol poisoning and host several STDs then you might as well make some flow, eh Snook? But I digress.

I think most people get that our fleshly bents run toward the weird and that without strict discipline and divine help a lot of people would be taking pictures of their chimichanga and tweeting them over to chunky Facebookers in Seattle. Okay, maybe not.

One thing for certain, however, is that ever since idiot Eve started yapping with a flippin’ serpent while her dilatory husband stood by and picked lint from his navel, the entire human collective has fallen from a felicitous state of innocence into one whopping Jerry Springer mob. We are truly goofy and egregious goobers. As Calvin would say, we are totally depraved.

So … did it surprise me that a greasy, soulless New York congressman named Anthony Weiner would take snapshots of his junk and tweet ‘em over to some stupid dame dialoging with an obvious married freak? That answer would be H to the NO it didn’t surprise me. Any time one mixes fallen humanity and uncut narcissism with a smidge of power, a digital camera and a social network filled with unsupervised tweenage girls, you can be certain that some guy is going to post a photo of his one-eyed monster and make it his profile pic. This is the world in which we live.

Now, even though sin is to be expected, it should not be accepted unless one wants to be humiliated on TV, get one’s butt kicked by one’s pregnant Muslim wife and then, upon expiration, rot in hell for all eternity. Yes, brethren, we should crucify the flesh.

That said, aside from using certain camera angles to make things seem larger than they actually are, what can we base critters learn from Weiner’s roast? Check this out …

1. Control your sins, or they’ll control you: I guarantee that autoerotic Anthony never imagined his penchants would take him to Stupidtown. Therefore, to avoid being A. Weiner we should all bridle our carnal appetites.

2. Realize your sin will find you out: Everyone who sins in an egregious way and doesn’t die on the spot after the first fifty transgressions eventually begins to get cocky and assume that they’re going to get away with whatever they’re hiding. Ahahahaha! That’s funny.

3. When busted, own it: One thing of the many things that makes me loathe Anthony or cats like Ted Haggard is that when they get exposed for doing some stupid crap they lie, deny or blame others. I’ve found folks are generally forgiving if one falls. However, once the guilty party starts going Casey Anthony with lies and obfuscations, that’s when the collective mercy ends.

4. Know that rehab is PR and thus BS: Rehab? Puh-lease. Does anyone out there really believe that Weiner won’t be back to juggling his balls after six weeks of ink blot tests? “Daddy didn’t love me! Now where’s my camera …” And finally …

5. Understand that truly broken people aren’t camera whores.

The Anthony Weiner scandal has many lessons, ranging from not naming one’s kid Anthony Weiner to the five bullet points mentioned above. The final point that I’d like to volley into your court is this one: Experience is the best teacher—especially someone else’s experiences. So, forget that crap about learning from your mistakes, children; it is safer and more entertaining to learn from Anthony Weiner’s mistakes. Amen.

[martin_fierro]

[Travis McGee]

That’s funny! Great writing! And great points too.

[Rumplemeyer]

ping and save

[ImProudToBeAnAmerican]

Man who is a proud cat owner - EPIC FAIL!

Politician who emails pics of his nude body and junk to women he met online - EPIC FAIL!

Forty something year old man who shaves his entire body - EPIC FAIL!

Married man who sexts with multiple women he met online - EPIC FAIL!

Lier, lier, pants so on fire - EPIC FAIL!

Human being who believes they are a victim for being caught being a total sleaze - EPIC FAIL!

[Vaquero]

nothing stronger than the human heart

[Caipirabob]

Scary thought: This is just one face of liberalism being a mental disorder...

[Lucas McCain]

“Lier, lier, pants so on fire - EPIC FAIL!”

Misspelling liar might be considered a “fail.” Not epic, of course.

[Thank You Rush]

This could have been written by Mark Steyn - it’s great! A real talent with words.

[Louis Foxwell]

And one who is well acquainted with the steps to salvation. Sprinkle heavily with scriptural references and it is sermon worthy.

[Nevadan]

Great commentary, as always!

[Liz]

TAXPAYERS FOOT THE BILLS FOR THE WORLD'S MISFITS, AS USUAL Weiner’s Congressional pension and benefits could top $1 million. Course, he's never held a real job. Weiner's been in Congress some 13 years (he's in his mid 40’s). His Congressional pension and savings plan could be worth $1.12-1.28 million. Some say he can't touch the retirement money until he's 55, or so. But I doubt whether the "crowned heads" in Congress have to live by the same rules the working class have to abide by.

Add to that figure Weiner's stints (1) as Schumer's Congressional aide, and, (2) at the NY City Council. He could be cashing in from those positions, as well. Plus he's got $5 million in campaign money (for his thwarted Mayoral ambitions that he cannot convert for personal use).

I guess he'll contribute the $5mill to UNICEF to feed the hungry (/snix).

You have to wonder what the little jerk did to get all that campaign money. After all, he does represent Brooklyn--duh. Can you say kickbacks?

All of Weiner's budget items, earmarks, etc, should be scrutinized. Constituent groups that got federal money should have to prove where they spent it.

THIS JUST IN: disgraced ex-Cong Weiner's 2010 tax return shows $40,521 in unspecified itemized deductions on income of $156,117. The deductions appeared to include more than the standard write-offs......his campaign finance reports list his Forest Hills home as his campaign committee address but rents office space in Manhattan.

=========================================

Weiner is probably worth $10 Mill or more. Usually when tax fraud surfaces, money laundering is also involved. L/E should scrutinize what Weiner listed on his IRS forms as "investment income."

So many ways Weiner could have profited from earmarks, and federal grants to his Brooklynite constituents (legends in their own time for wrongdoing). Could also explain his having $5Mill campaign funds----illegal conversions of federal grants made to Brooklyn non-profits and foundations into campaign donations.....AKA kickbacks.

LET US COUNT THE WAYS OF MONEY LAUNDERING:

(1) Underground, unregulated banking services (common in ethnic communities), (2) offshore "investments," (3) offshore banking, (4) monies wire-transferred to friends and/or family members living in offshore banking havens.

Here's how Madoff did it: The court-appointed trustee tracing Madoff's assets found a super-secret labyrinth of interrelated international funds, institutions and financial entities of almost unparalleled complexity and breadth......with assets and businesses in multiple places overseas that hid thievery, money laundering and tax evasion.

Course Madoff was running simultaneous scams:

(1) a tax evasion scheme for wealthy businessmen ("losing" money is a tax write-off;

(2) a money laundering scam;

(3) a protection racket for affinity groups,

(4) aiding and abetting wealthy tax-exempt foundations to evade US banking laws and the IRS.

(5) hiding money for wealthy businessmen some of which was used for campaign donations (FEC fraud), and foundation fraud (IRS fraud)

[Iron Munro]

Rule #1:

Don’t ever, ever take pictures of your nasty parts and send them over the internet to anyone. Ever.

Rule #2:

If you break Rule #1 just man up and admit it without feeble attempts at trying to blame others.

Rule #3:

Now just go and quietly hang yourself - you’re a worthless bag of dirt and a stink spot on the butt of humanity.....

[Kaslin]

Well Mark Steyn is good and so is Doug Giles

[Vinnie]

Plus he's got $5 million in campaign money (for his thwarted Mayoral ambitions that he cannot convert for personal use).

So, he acts like a candidate for some office, buys a mansion as 'campaign headquarters', some Beemers for 'campaign use', etc.

Pretty soon $5 mil in campaign money spent. All legal.

[Liz]

HOW TO SPEND $5mill CAMPAIGN DONATIONS ON YOURSELF LEGALLY: Weiner acts like he's a candidate for some office, buys a mansion as 'campaign headquarters,' Beemers for 'campaign use'.......pretty soon the $5 mil in campaign money he's got stashed away is all spent. All legal.

That reminds me of the infamous Rahm Emanuel scam----turning your residence into a tax-exempt foundation to evade taxes.

BACKSTORY January 2007 USA Today reported on Emanuel and his wife’s tax-exempt "foundation" (operated out of their Chicago residence).

The tax-exempt "Rahm Emanuel and Amy Rule Charitable Trust" was formed in 2002, when the 4-term Chicagoan was first elected to Congress. Rahm and his wife, Amy Rule (a convert to Judaism), are its only donors.

Via his "foundation," Rahm doesn’t pay any property taxes and he gets income tax write-offs----this allows his kids to attend school tuition-free and allows him to expense a lot of personal expenses.

Rahm also "donates" to his Foundation (thus shielding income from taxes); his wife apparently draws a salary from the foundation. They reported having $2,900 on hand at the end of 2005, receiving $34,000 from Emanuel and donating more than $31,000. Rahm also donated $25,000 to his Synagogue.

Emanuel’s tax-exempt foundation gave nearly $25,000 to the Anshe Emet synagogue and school [a private school that Rahm's children attend]. It also gave $14,000 to Marwen, a Chicago charity that provides art classes and other educational help to low-income children. Ms Rule is on Marwen’s board.

Rahm's foundation also gave $15,000 to the foundation run by former president Bill Clinton. NOTE WELL: The IRS says the BIGGEST foundation fraud is one foundation writing checks to another foundation---that's how they siphon off monies for themselves---tax-free.

Remember that Ohaha's ex-Cos controlled all the activities at the US Treasury. I laughed out loud when this conniver---now morphed into a Mayoral candidate---said he "raised" $10M in only 3 days....when everyone knows it only takes a nano-second to wire-transfer monies stashed in offshore accounts.

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Other Chicago pols colluded with the Tax Collector to "delist" their properties.....to shield pols from paying taxes.

AMNESTY WHORE GUTIERREZ A TAX CHEAT The same Chicago tax assessor that finagled Rahm's taxes, once carried the home of amnesty whore and a former cab driver Cong Luis Guiterrez (D-Ill) on the tax rolls as a "vacant lot."

The assessor argued---- after the story became public----that Guiterrez should not be penalized for a "clerical error" .... This came after Guiterrez paid minimal taxes for years and years...... b/c Guiterrez' home was listed on the tax rolls as a vacant lot.

Cong Gutierrez (D-Ill) has made a career out of helping illegal aliens drain whatever they could out of America. Good chance Gutierrez was aiding and abetting govt financial fraud and ID fraud. How many fake ID's were used to bilk govt agencies?

City investigating program that helped daughter of Gutierrez D-ILL---The Chicago Sun Times | May 4, 2010 |

The City of Chicago's inspector general has opened an investigation into an affordable-housing program under which U.S. Rep. Luis Gutierrez's daughter was able to buy a condominium at a discount, despite family income of more than $93,000, and resell it after 14 months at a 55 percent profit.(Excerpt) Read more at suntimes.com ...

FBI agents ask about Gutierrez, developer The FBI has interviewed City Hall employees and Chicago aldermen (a former cab driver) about U.S. Rep. Luis Gutierrez's ties to a corrupt developer, according to records and interviews that raise new questions about the congressman amid an ongoing federal investigation.

A former alderman convicted in the investigation told FBI agents that Gutierrez boasted of helping his longtime political supporter Calvin Boender obtain a lucrative zoning change for a development on the city's West Side. Another alderman told agents this year she thought Gutierrez was going to buy a home in the development. (Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ..

A-N-O-T-H-E-R CHICAGO SCAM perpetrated by Cong Jesse Jackson, Jr

" I been in Congress 13 years. My earmarks totaled $231,000 as of 6/1/07.
There's plenty more where that came from. There's "nothing wrong and nothing
new" about my funneling hundreds of thousands of dollars to my wife, Sandi,"
a Chicago Alderman (who said she'd castrate JJJr w/ a tomahawk if she didn't
get the money).

[CutePuppy]

Rahm and his wife, Amy Rule (a convert to Judaism), are its only donors.

David Mamet, who has recently discovered that he was really a conservative by listening to Michael Medved, Dennis Prager and Glenn Beck (his plays and movies have been generally conservative while he considered himself a liberal) is married to Rebecca Pidgeon. She is 18 years younger than he is and was raised a Christian, but converted to Judaism after marriage, to take David's Jewish faith. They have two children. Interestingly, it was David's rabbi who gave him a start on the path of questioning his assumed liberalism and becoming a conservative - all his life before that moment he was stewing in a "liberal soup" environment - his rabbi got him to question his assumptions.

There are quite a few foundations that have been funded by a "single" donor and either do not accept or actively solicit donations - the notable examples are Nobel Prize, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Hewlett-Packard etc...

However, there are many "family foundations" that are set up specifically for purposes of creating tax and other benefits for the family and/or friends. For instance, some things that would be considered bribes if paid by personal checks would be legitimate donation if distributed by funds from "family foundation." That's why schemes like Madoff's were so popular with liberal "family foundations" like Lautenberg's and others.

Liberals love these types of phony tax-advantaged "family foundations" but they would destroy any conservative secular or religious institutions (churches) running a legitimate tax-free charity or organizations.

See a liberal attack dog "Melanie Sloan, Executive Director of the good government group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington" calling for investigation of legitimate tax-exempt organization run by Gingrich in Gingrich Fires Back, But Tax Expert Says He's in 'World of Trouble' - FR / ABC, 2011 June 16

BTW, Gingrich had been investigated by IRS previously and completely cleared, but that would not stop attack dog Melanie Sloan. Maybe she should look at really phony Rahm's foundation run by the Emanuels for the Emanuels.

[Liz]

Self-serving liberals love phony tax-advantage "family foundations" that enrich themselves, but they busily destroy legitimate tax-free charities or organizations run by conservatives....particularly those run by churches.......pols "family foundations" are set up specifically to create tax benefits for politicians, their families and/or friends. .....some things considered bribes if paid by personal checks are legitimate "donations" when distributed by "family foundation" checks. That's why schemes like Madoff's were so popular with liberal "family foundations" like Sen Lautenberg's (and others).

HOW DO CONGRESSMEN GET RICH WITHOUT ACTUALLY WORKING? A favorite Congressman/Senator ploy is to form a supposedly altruistic tax-exempt foundation "for the children" back in the district to which they allocate "Congressional earmarks and budget items" that are later siphoned off for themselves.

[Liz]

.......financial schemes like Madoff's were popular with tax-exempt foundations b/c foundations allow the looting of tax-exempt monies as "altruistic donations" that would be considered bribes, tax evasion and money laundering elsewhere......

ITEM Madoff was laundering billions for "family foundations" like Sen Lautenberg's and abortion financiers, The Picower Foundation. After her husband died in the family swimming pool, Mrs Picower had to give back $9billion---seems The Picower Foundations was taking out 900% profits from the Madoff "investment."

ITEM Many, many religious foundations were part of the Madoff crime cartel

ITEM Madoff facilitator, Stanley Chais, Beverly Hills, operated the Chais Family Foundation and Brighton Co Investments. Chais is a "philanthropist" who served on "charitable" boards with Madoff. Chais (pronounced Chase) told the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles that he personally invested with Madoff but also "facilitated" others who wished to do likewise. However, spokesmen for the SEC and the California Dept of Corporations said they could find no record of Chais registering as an investment advisor or a broker.

Stanley Chais offers remarks at the Weizmann Institute of Science.

ITEM Mets owners----the Wilpon/Katz family-----pulled $357M from Madoff's fraud and, at last count, had 483 accounts with Madoff.

ITEM One investor who spoke to reporters was a stockbroker (her family invested with Bernie for generations---the family's patriarch founded the wildly successful Stop and Shop supermarket chain).

ITEM Others gave Madoff $100-500 millions to "invest" for years and years.

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The court-appointed trustee examining Madoff's assets found a super-secret labyrinth of interrelated international funds, institutions and financial entities of almost unparalleled complexity and breadth......with assets and businesses in multiple places overseas that hid thievery, money laundering and tax evasion.

Serves to underline that Madoff was running simultaneous scams:

(1) a tax evasion scheme for wealthy businessmen ("losing" money is a tax write-off;

(2) a money laundering scam;

(3) a protection racket for affinity groups,

(4) aiding and abetting wealthy tax-exempt foundations to evade US banking laws and the IRS.

(5) hiding money for wealthy businessmen some of which was used for campaign donations (FEC fraud), and foundation fraud (IRS fraud)

Keep in mind Bernie‘s investors were savvy, astute successful business people, accustomed to constructing, picking apart and analyzing financial statements.