[Red Badger]

My daughter's wedding is Sunday and the rehearsal is Saturday. I hope we can squeeze it in..............

[starlifter]

What if I'm in an airplane flying over the earthquake?

[Right Wing Assault]

What time will this hit the midwest? If I’m going to die, I won’t cut the grass, but if not, how long should I wait until I know the end isn’t going to happen tomorrow? I don’t want to cut the grass in the dark, and I can’t do it on Sunday. It’s been raining a lot and I really need to get at it if the world doesn’t end.

[Longbow1969]

Can’t wait to hear Camping’s excuses on May 22nd for why the rapture didn’t happen.

[dfwgator]

The world cannot end until the Cubs are one strike away from winning the World Series.

[ZULU]

Camping is proof that not all the bedbugs are in the bed linens.

[dfwgator]

What will happen to the folks in the Space Shuttle?

[the_devils_advocate_666]

I’m not mowing my lawn until Sunday.

[COBOL2Java]

I heard two stories this morning about entreprenurs exploiting the opportunity:

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One fellow is selling "Pet Care" for those who on Saturday will be taken up by the Lord into the sky. His sales pitch goes: "Who will take care of your beloved pets after you are gone? For just $500 those of us left behind will ensure the continued care of your pets."

Apparently he's sold 200 contracts to the followers.

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Another one says that it would be environmentally irresponsible to leave food in the refrigerator to spoil after you have ascended to the sky. He is selling a service whereby he will ensure that the leftover food is collected and distributed to the left-behind poor.

[PSYCHO-FREEP]

Attention seeking fools like this are what is driving the Secular World away from the church.

[Hoodlum91]

The earthquake poses a dilemma.

Should we be huddled under a sturdy table at 5:58 to protect us from the earthquake? But if we’re raptured, won’t we bump our head if we’re under the table?

Who knew it would be this confusing!

[Red Badger]

Deuteronomy 18:22
If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously, so do not be alarmed.

[databoss]

By my calculations the Reverend Camping is off by a da

[PSYCHO-FREEP]

DOOOOOoooooooommmmmmmed!............

[jda]

Well, it appears that Family Radio is not totally convinced tomorrow is the Rapture - their "donate" button is still there.

[Terry Mross]

Lots of “Christian” clergy are having muslims read prayers in their churches this Sunday. I think it would be wonderful if Christ returns on Saturday and says “You thought you could defile my house? I don’t think so!”