Coach Stallings, taught us all what it means to be a REAL man.
Posted on 04/19/2011 11:01:51 AM PDT by wagglebee
There is an ugly statistic made well known by none other than The New York Times from a 2007 article; 90 percent of all pregnancies where the unborn child is given a diagnosis of Down Syndrome end in abortion.
Can you wrap your head around that? 9 in 10; 90 in 100 – that is a lot of life snuffed out because of the possibility of one pesky extra chromosome.
Have you ever met a child with Down Syndrome or with other special needs? I have met plenty of them. If fact, one of my own children has special needs. We say she may be delayed at most things, but she’s very advanced at loving.
I’m not going to paint a rosy picture and say it’s all sunshine and smiles being the parent of a child with special needs. There are extra trials and days you wonder if you’ll be able to keep your head while you heart feels like it’s breaking. My husband and I explain it to our other young children that their sister needs extra help, more help than most kids her age. Sometimes it’s not easy being a sibling of a child with special needs. But none of us could ever imagine our life without her, without her smile, her laughter, her hugs and (extra wet) kisses.
That’s why that statistic causes me to shudder. How many beautiful children meant for this world have been killed because some test didn’t come back perfect? How many smiles and hugs has the world lost because this little life wasn’t given the chance to take a breath and change minds, hearts and lives? Here’s a newsflash: none of us is perfect; some of us just have more visible crosses than others.
“We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.” Pope Benedict XVI said this a few years ago, and I have since had conversations with other parents who have children with special needs about the last part: necessary. These kids who have extra struggles, extra pain, need extra help, are necessary. Many a lesson can be learned from them: selflessness, humility, sacrifice, joy, triumph.
The extra struggles lead to greater triumphs. The first time she independently got that morsel of food to her mouth or was able to sit up for a few minutes without assistance, joy welled up inside of me far exceeding that of my other kids reaching appropriate developmental milestones. Parents are not the only ones who feel this way. Siblings share in the extra joy too mushrooming into an exponential effect for the whole family.
Daily, my daughter teaches me these things and more. In fact, for the time being, I’ll be taking a break from this column and a professional break from the front lines in the fight to build a culture of Life so her lessons sink in more deeply. I thought I needed to go out into the world to help build a culture of Life, but lo and behold a daily building will occur in menial tasks with the potential for monumental triumphs. Families with children who need extra help do this every day and are a testament to the world that each life matters, including, and perhaps especially, the special ones.
They have written some of the most passionate, inspiring and beautiful works I have ever seen. Here are two that I keep bookmarked:
My best friend’s nephew was diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome in the womb. His mother chose to keep him. He was the valedictorian at Saint Anslem’s college four years ago. Guess they were wrong.
Agreed, however, a young woman might be intimidated.
That doesn’t seem to be unusual, either.
It’s very easy to speak of blessings when it’s someone else who spends their entire life caring for someone with Down’s Syndrome.
Do you have a Down’s Syndrome child?
Yep, a sibling.
Coach Stallings, taught us all what it means to be a REAL man.
That is why Planned Parenthood exists. To make sure all those “uncomfortable” children get dealt with. And to make sure that no woman is “punished” with an unwanted pregnancy, just like President Obama told us.
My pastor was bragging about the fact that in the last two years our parish has had five babies with DS born. It’s quite the in your face statement to the rest of the world.
Do you help to care for your brother or sister?
Our daughter and her husband were presented with the fact that their first child was Down's. They just looked at the Doctor and said, "Oh". The doctor just looked at them and said, "Do you want to abort?" Our kids basically said, "You've got to be kidding."
What goes around comes around. That daughter of ours was also a candidate for abortion because of pre testing. Because of meds that I was on, she did not have a chance of being "normal". In fact the doctor described pretty much a picture of doom. The doctor asked us how bad we wanted this baby and we told him...no matter what we wanted this baby. Well, it was a rough 9 months to get through knowing that we were to have a child that was going to be physically and mentally a mess.
Funny thing was...our daughter came out just fine. Just had minute optical nerves and had no peripheral vision. We didn't find that out until she was a freshman in high school. The Opthamalogist told us that she had adapted well and that the only things that she would have trouble doing was playing sports. Well, she was a freshman starting varsity, so I guess that really wasn't a problem. She went on to a college scholarship in basketball....and that grandson of ours that was supposed to be Down's. Well he is 9 and a star athlete in his own right. Both times the doctors were wrong.
That's why a physician friend of ours says that that is why they call it medicine cause it's not science. Doctors have 20% knowledge and 80% guesswork, according to him. He went on to say that for every group of symptoms there are many diagnoses possible. He said that there is only one Great Physician who gets it 100% of the time.
And it involves the entire family and extended relatives over decades.
No normal childhood for brothers and sisters. No golden years for parents and siblings.
Then there’s the State hovering in the background - looking for any indication of neglect or abuse.
This is the non-celebrity reality.
Gene Stallings was one of a hand full who survived Bear Bryant’s Summer camp at Junction, Texas.
That group included a bunch of future stars.
You’re kidding right? The entire surviving family’s functioning life revolves around his well-being. I’m now middle-aged and my mother is 70.
Neither did I.
The Junction Boys was a fantastic movie, Tom Berenger was perfect as ‘The Bear.’
You have remained at home with your Mother?
Ditto
For those who would not abort but can’t face the task ahead of them, there is always adoption.
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