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To: Sub-Driver

This sounds like a joke but he is considering legislation regulating by law, how people in the city can wipe their butts.

No more than one TP ration, with no more than 4 squares.

Apparently, an attendant will ‘log you in’ and give you your ration of TP. You will be searched going in and comming out to ensure there is no hording.

Personal TP is banned from all city property and you are allowed to ‘go’ a maximum of three times in a day.

Also, it is illegal to wipe from behind. You must go in from the front because a commission found that this way is more ‘efficient’.

Anyone caught in possession of, or using ‘unauthorized’ TP will be prosecuted.

The Mayor has said that it is his duty as a public official to ensure people are wiping their butts correctly and in the most efficient way possible.

Also, he again insisted that he has no plans for random anus cleanliness checks at this time.


30 posted on 04/10/2011 9:56:10 AM PDT by 240B (he is doing everything he said he wouldn't and not doing what he said he would)
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To: 240B
Also, it is illegal to wipe from behind. You must go in from the front because a commission found that this way is more ‘efficient’.

Actually, that is one of the more common factors in female genitourinary infections. It often brings fecal bacteria into contact with moist mucosa 'up front'.

38 posted on 04/10/2011 10:28:46 AM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Made in America, by proud American citizens, in 1946.)
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