Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That?

Wall Street Journal ^ | 03/19/2011 | JENNIFER MOSES

[iowamark]

Women of a liberated generation wrestle with their eager-to-grow-up daughters—and their own pasts

...In a few years, their attention will turn to the annual ritual of shopping for a prom dress, and by then their fashion tastes will have advanced still more. Having done this now for two years with my own daughter, I continue to be amazed by the plunging necklines, built-in push-up bras, spangles, feathers, slits and peek-a-boos. And try finding a pair of sufficiently "prommish" shoes designed with less than a 2-inch heel...

A woman I know, with two mature daughters, said, "If I could do it again, I wouldn't even have slept with my own husband before marriage. Sex is the most powerful thing there is, and our generation, what did we know?"

We are the first moms in history to have grown up with widely available birth control, the first who didn't have to worry about getting knocked up. We were also the first not only to be free of old-fashioned fears about our reputations but actually pressured by our peers and the wider culture to find our true womanhood in the bedroom. Not all of us are former good-time girls now drowning in regret—I know women of my generation who waited until marriage—but that's certainly the norm among my peers.

So here we are, the feminist and postfeminist and postpill generation. We somehow survived our own teen and college years (except for those who didn't), and now, with the exception of some Mormons, evangelicals and Orthodox Jews, scads of us don't know how to teach our own sons and daughters not to give away their bodies so readily. We're embarrassed, and we don't want to be, God forbid, hypocrites...

[cjshapi]

My bf’s 14 yr old daughter had her cheerleading banquet a few weeks ago. Her mom was out of town so I went with them. Had to take her shopping the day before for a new dress. Penney’s had NOTHING appropriate for her age. Hit paydirt at Macy’s and it was even on sale.

I was appalled by the clothing almost worn by more than half the girls at the banquet. I’m 47, so not exactly ancient, but these kids were dressed totally inappropriately. However, when I saw a large portion of them with their mom’s it made perfect sense. Moms with pierced noses and 4 inch stiletto heels and dresses that barely covered their cheeks don’t set much of an example for their daughters.

I told my soon to be step-daughter how proud I was of her for looking so pretty and appropriate.

[Tax-chick]

My middle daughter, the one who’s almost 13, can wear adult sizes, so we have a reasonable choice of clothes in places like Belk or Dress Barn, but the younger is too big, unless we get lucky, for the largest size of girls’ clothes but too small for adult clothes. That leaves “Juniors,” which are mostly trashy.

Walmart and Target have very pretty spring dresses and casual outfits up to size 8, but not larger. And why is an average-sized 11-year-old too big for “14-16” sizes?

I’ve been afraid to buy things from eBay. I should find one of my friends to walk me through it, because half my wardrobe is going to be obsolete once Frank is weaned; I can’t, in good conscience, wear my nursing dresses all summer when other moms need them.