Dear __Hilary Clinton__,
His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis of Wales, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, and Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, wish to extend their __appreciation__ of your __sincere__ __advice__, on how best to __enjoy__ their __marriage__.
Unfortunately, all available seating at the event has long been reserved for traditional attendees and family members of the betrothed, so there are no longer vacancies for __you__, __”that cheating rat Bill”__, or your friends, __the Obanas__, even though you __”are friends of the President of the United States”__.
Fortunately, it is anticipated that the royal wedding will be simulcast on BBC1, without commentary, or BBC3, with various humorous commentaries provided in real time by lower class wits throughout the realm, in case your interest is more to the disparagement of the royal couple, nobles and other celebrities in attendance.
Thanks ever so much for your __interest__,
Humphrey Appleby, III
Deputy 2nd Assistant to the Royal Mews Barista
and Keeper of the Newcomen Automatic Signature
Generation Device
(signed)
Hillary still has fond memories of her wedding with Bill. She can still hear the banjos.