Oahu is way too crowded, we agree on that.
Oahu is best I think. If you pick the right place to stay and go at the right time it is delightful.
There is so much to do — art and culural museums, the food, Pearl Harbor memorial, shows, plus hikes and beaches and water sports.
You can fly direct, so no need to get on another plane.
If all you want to do is sleep on the beach, then the other islands are nice.
But, I prefer Honolulu. We’ve stayed at a hotel on the south side of the Kapiolani Park. New Otoni — lowest priced beach front hotel. Quiet and close to everything.
I was just there last week. Went running in the park at sun rise to watch the sun rise over Diamond Head.
Now back in snowy Seattle.