I’d like to hear the women who ARE making these “excuses”. I don’t know any of them. My mother in law graduated her kids and went into business working with mothers of gifted and talented kids to help them homeschool for high results. My own mother - while starting back in at square one with my adoptive sisters - is a resource in her homeschool community. Other homeschool moms I knew growing up are hooked in through their daughters and daughters-in-law, helping with the grandchildren.
To people who are currently homeschooling, I urge you to look at some of the comments on this thread, women who say their husbands were “wary” of homeschooling, and remind your children that when they look for a mate they need to talk about homeschooling right away. That was one of the things that attracted my husband and me to each other - we had firm commitments to homeschooling right up front.
Here is my letter to Mr. North:
Gary,
I don’t think the issue is confidence. I think it takes a great deal of confidence to step out of the mainstream and do something so different as home schooling. As a nineteen-year veteran of home schooling, I think it is interesting that you think when I am finished home schooling our fourth child next year that I should spend time creating curriculum for other home schoolers to give away for free. Let me get this right, I spend over twenty years away from full time work, doing without that income, most of the time not only home schooling my own children but also co-oping with and advising other home school families as a leader in a home school group...and there is something wrong with me because I am not willing to spend more time creating home school materials for free? You’ve got to be kidding me!
I know plenty of home school moms who are writing and selling curriculum at reasonable prices. Many of them give their time to advise other home schoolers and help them get started or get over rough patches. One of my home school friends is even writing for the traditional textbook market.
The worker is worthy of his wages, you know...and I have found that home schooler published materials or materials published mainly for the home school market are much more reasonably priced that those for the traditional school market.
I think you might find it interesting to speak to a few home schoolers about your position on this issue. It could be an enlightening conversation!
Here is his reply:
You must be a Christian. You fire off eletters to stranger cimplaining that they wrote something that they did not write. I have dealt with people like you for 40 years.
First, you whine that I think you should do it for free. Well, I have begun: www.FreeChristianCurricuum.com. I have a vision for the kingdom beyong making a buck.
But let that pass. I did NOT say you should do it for free. Here is what I wrote:
But why? They have taught their own children. They have talked with other home school mothers. There are lots of Websites and blogs on the topic. Yet there is only one K-12 mother-created home school curriculum on the Web that is free of charge or very cheap ($200 or less): Old Fashioned Education (free).
See that? $200. Art Robinson has sold $100,000 of them at $200. Do the math, sweetie. Big bucks.
But, no, you felt compelled to fire off incensed letter.
I wrote about your sort earlier this week. This is you:
http://www.garynorth.com/public/7599.cfm
So is this:
Why You Should Not Allow Non-Paying People Post on Your Blog Site’s Forums Gary North Printer-Friendly Format
Feb. 9, 2011
In every movement, there are jerks. Some of them send angry letters to strangers. On-line, they are called flamers. They are why I recommend not having blog forums for non-paying members. By imposing a fee, no matter how small, you eliminate most of them. They are time-wasters. They have no money. That is because they are time-wasters.
They are always spoiling for a fight. They feel compelled to give people pieces of their mind.
They set the tone for blog forums. They contribute nothing. It is not worth your time to respond to them in front of everyone.
If my site had public forums, it would debase the site.
Let me give a pair of examples. My article on home schooling mothers ran yesterday. I received one long, inspirational letter from a successful home school father. He asked that I not print it. It should be read in home school circles. I received letters from others who had curriculum suggestions.
But I got letters from two incensed women. Here is the first.
I have six children and have homeschooled them all. Your article disturbs me because the most important part of homeschooling is sitting down with your child - you and your child. Not your child and someone else or worse yet, someone else’s curriculum. If you ask for it, God gives you, the parent, the wisdom to know each and every day what each and every child personally needs. I reject and have always rejected someone else’s notion of how to homeschool. Homeschooling does not mean that your child is simply home. There may be a market out there, but only for lame brains who want to get rid of the hard work of homeschooling. And in the process of getting rid of the hard work, they are getting rid of the real rewards. I reject it, reject it, reject it. Respectfully, Mrs. W. — Virginian stuck in the horrible state of Maryland
This is a negative-minded lady. Virginia’s gain was Maryland’s loss. What are we to make of this?
There may be a market out there, but only for lame brains who want to get rid of the hard work of homeschooling.
She wants no division of labor. To rely on a curriculum makes you a lame brain. Christians wonder why they are not taken seriously. This is why.
Within Christian circles, this sort of thing is common. I have received these types of letters from strangers for 40 years.
I got another one.
Home schooling moms do not necessarily lack self-confidence or motivation or the skills necessary to create a curriculum; rather, they see academics as only 1 piece of the tapestry called home schooling. Home schooling also involves teaching home management, building strong moral character, teaching their children to make a positive difference in the world through service and involvement in the community and beyond, creating strong family bonds, and sharing in the lives of their children. In addition to all of this, most home schooling moms must “maintain the home front” while the dads are battling the financial war in the work force outside the home. Consequently, the moms are busy planning, shopping for,preparing, and cleaning up after the meals; keeping a reasonably clean and tidy home; mending and sewing clothes; shuttling the children to their various sports, musical, and church activities; often changing diapers and breastfeeding babies; and battling exhaustion. For many home schooling moms, being “too busy” to do something that is not a high priority for them is simply the truth. They rarely even get time alone for themselves. There is a time and season for everything. When Moms are home schooling, their own family is their top priority. After that, comes sleep. God, of course, is their No. 1 priority which is why most home schooling Moms choose to home school in the first place even though it may mean giving up a lucrative career.
I hope you find someone to create what you are looking for; but please don’t belittle home schooling Moms or sell them short in your quest. Besides, many home schooling Moms use prepared curriculum with which they are perfectly happy. Why reinvent the wheel?
My article was directed to mothers who have finished their teaching. I ended it as follows:
It is time for the women who have successfully taken their children through the process to show others how to do it. No more “I’m just not equipped.” No more “Woe, woe, woe — poor helpless me.” No more “But I’m so busy.” No more “I’ve done my part with my kids. That’s enough for anyone to do.” They are all variations of this one: “Some man should do all this — Khan or Robinson. It’s just too much for me.”
No more excuses. Excuses do not win wars.
How could I have been more clear? But she shifted the argument to “busy home schooling moms who are still teaching.” Why? Because she wanted to rant and rave. She is not simply a jerk for Jesus. She is a knee-jerk for Jesus.
I replied:
Everyone needs excuses for not taking responsibility.
You surely have yours.
She fired back — thinking she had me now:
Thanks. Why don’t you or your wife do it?
Now I had her. I replied:
I’m glad you asked: www.FreeChristianCurriculum.com.
I will not be hearing from her again. I called her bluff.
You don’t change their minds. You just shut them up.
Do not open your blog’s forums to all comers. It’s not worth it. Forums are great for paid subscribers. They are not great for people with a chip on their shoulders and time on their hands.