Well, the answer is that there are many, many words which only certain people are permitted to use. Blacks can say the N word, but anyone else is is big trouble. You can have a Department of Queer Studies at a university, provided that it takes a positive view of the subject and is run by gays. But straights are not permitted to use the word.
The same with faggot. Only faggots are allowed to say faggot.
P.S. First Department of Queer Studies in the U.S., with a list of other Departments of Queer Studies:
http://www.ccsf.edu/Departments/Gay_Lesbian_Bisexual_Studies/