Be true to yourself. Being a man is not negotiable, ever. If a woman cannot accept your for who you are, then you are in for a rocky road.
Do not supplicate. Kissing butt is not sexy or romantic.
Be sexy and romantic. It’s okay. You’re allowed. Forget what the media says.
Do not watch chick flicks, and do not think that’s what women really want.
LISTEN to women, especially the ones you are attracted to. They’ll tell you everything you need to know.
DO sweep her off her feet. They love that. Make sure you can wow her with one kiss. Do have good timing.
Do not be her friend. She does not want to date her friends. You are her date, you are not looking for a friend, are you?
Be honest. Don’t play games. If you like her, tell her. If you can’t, leave her alone. Don’t pretend to be her friend, they think it’s lying. If you want her, ask her out, be open that you’re interested.
Flirt. A lot.
If she asks for money or help right away, lose her number.
If you meet her friends, and only one knows about you after one or a couple dates, it’s serious. If all of her friends know, she’s a gossip. Your dating WILL be grist for the mill. Decide if you can live with that.
Make her laugh, a lot.
Wear the big boy pants. If she asks “Where are we going?”, have a plan. That’s sexy to them. Plan out the whole date. Show that you have taste, you’re organized, and you have no problem being in charge.
YOU decide when things go to the next level.
If she sleeps with you on the first date, she’s a booty call, and she does not have any respect or real interest in you, other than convenience. If she makes you wait, she really likes you.
You come first. If she pushes you away for her friends, it’s over. (Family is okay). Same for her - she comes first.
How she treats your mother is how she’ll treat you.
A woman who truly loves you will marry you flat broke, and help you get wealthy. A woman who marries for money, will care right away. All she wants is bragging rights.
A woman is not a man. Do not expect them to act or think like you. Accept them.
You are a man. Never forget that, never feel ashamed. If she tries to belittle or change you, lose her number. She has no respect for you.
A woman who loves you will cook for you. Even if it’s bad, or burned. Appreciate the effort.
Don’t try to fix everything for her. She just wants you to commiserate, and support her.
A woman who loves you will bring out your best. Do you know what that is?
Having sexual urges for a woman is okay. Do not buy into the media’s idea that it’s bad, and you should feel guilty. However, how you act on those urges is crucial. Gentlemen wait for the right moment, jerks rush in.
Romance is fun. If it’s a chore, it’s not working.
Relationships are two way streets. If you find yourself alone on the road, it’s time to move on.
Trust is more important than anything else. If she can’t keep your secrets, she’s no good. And guys? Keep your mouth shut.
Hitting is a dealbreaker, always. This is a problem with younger women these days, they know they can get away with it, and you can’t hit back. Even in jest, it’s a red flag.
I’ve found the above will attract you and help you find a decent, caring woman who will be good for you, and that you can trust. They’re rarer these days, but they’re out there, and they’re worth looking for. There’s a lot of pretty, shy, nerdy women out there alone on weekend nights, who would be wonderful girlfriends and wives, but they get overlooked for the flashy women, who are nothing but a headache in the end. Lower your standards, and know this - a woman in love with you is always beautiful.
You get what you put out there, if your bait is for trash, then you get trash. Use quality bait. :)
You’ve got one of the best answers on the thread... nice going, ByDesign.
I have to disagree with you there. If you want something more then a short term relationship you should be her friend. You just shouldn't be her "girl friend". She has female friends for that (and if she doesn't that is a major warning sign.)
But friend yes.
Good post and good points. One thing some guys forget is when a woman pushes you around or starts taking you for granted, you boot her arse to the curb. I’ve had to do this a number of times.
I get the luxury of dating the ‘flippers’. I’ve dated 3 that I knew quite a while before dating them, everyone loves them, and were conservative women, great personalities, very attractive people all around. I met two working in the GOP.
So far into the relationship they completely go in a different direction, usually with another man. Sometimes for money, sometimes for the bad boy, sometimes for the looks, or a combo of the three.
I’ve made more money than the last 3 and spent beyond my means at times and gave to them what I didn’t have. Gave love and attention freely. I attract women of all ages. I can walk into a church or bar and be fine. Was nice but never kissed butt even when they were difficult. I’m not hot headed but will spout off if you push too far. Their kids loved me, their family loved me. We clicked, lots of physical spark.
With flippers it doesn’t matter. When they’re done they’re done. You be nice and they run over you, you stand up to them and you’re a psycho and an abuser. You just cut them off and never look back.
My last one was 50, got a small promotion from a low level bureaucrat - to a slightly higher low level bureaucrat, and suddenly she’s in the country club high society. I’ve done way more with life in the business world than she’s even thought about.
Goes back to her abusive, controlling ex-husband because he makes more than me. She’s a conservative and an officer in the local GOP, we rub shoulders with politicians all the time. It never fazed her. Now it’s all status and money, I and other friends known her for years and she’s NEVER acted like that. But that’s how flippers are.
Suffice to say at 42 I’m just completely WTF? about women right now. Sometimes I envy the older generation.
Thank you for that. I’ve shared it with my daughters who are both a bit disillusioned right now about ever finding “the one”.