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Travel, the TSA and Teutonic Terminology
Townhall.com ^ | November 24, 2010 | Jonah Goldberg

Posted on 11/24/2010 2:18:33 PM PST by Kaslin

When it comes to understatements, "the Germans have made some mistakes" is in a class by itself. But one thing they're great at is words. They've got the best words, particularly for feelings of angst or woe. Most everyone knows schadenfreude, the feeling of joy one has at another's misfortune. A more useful term in the melancholy group would be weltschmerz: the sadness one feels when contemplating how far the real world is from an ideal world.

Other German words are rich in specificity but impoverished in pith. For example, there's Verbesserungsvorschlagsversammlung, which is a meeting held to hear suggestions for improvement, or Schwarzwälderkirschtortenlieferantenhut, which, according to my less-than-scholarly Internet spelunking, is the hat worn by a black forest cake delivery person.

Anyway, the reason I've gotten us both into this Teutonic-etymological mess is that I was searching around for one of my favorite German words: Fingerspitzengefühl. It seemed like the perfect password for entry into the impenetrable debate over the Transportation Security Administration and its new policy of getting into the anatomical nitty-gritty at airports.

I was out of the country, with very limited access to news, when this controversy erupted, and I had a hard time getting a feel for it. Hence my search for Fingerspitzengefühl, which I'm overdue in defining. Fingerspitzengefühl, according to Wikipedia, is a military leader's ability to grasp "an ever-changing operational and tactical situation by maintaining a mental map of the battlefield." But Wikipedia adds that it doesn't have to be a martial term. Fingerspitzengefühl "literally means 'finger tip feeling,' and is synonymous with the English expression of 'keeping one's finger on the pulse.'"

Both connotations seem apt.

The war on terror, as we all know, is an unconventional thing, at least on the home front. Instead of missiles or marauding armies, our enemies attack with exploding shoes or other weapons hidden where the sun does not shine. As a result, security officials need -- or at least think they need -- new kinds of information, and lots of it.

In short, Uncle Sam craves a Fingerspitzengefühl of the battlefield in your shoes, shirts and, yes, pants. If you don't agree to a body scan, then TSA officials will have to get their Fingerspitzengefühl with their actual fingers.

One traveler presented with this new reality protested, "Don't touch my junk," and a media sensation ensued.

Personally, I think the controversy is overdone. I don't love the policy, but the outrage seems a bit misplaced. I'd bet that the vast majority of TSA employees do not want to touch your junk -- or mine. And if any TSA agent gives the slightest indication that junk-touching is his or her favorite part of the job, he or she should lose their job immediately.

Obviously, the first people to blame for this mess are the murderers. Without them, flying wouldn't be the soul-killing experience it is.

But we're partially to blame, too. Politicians are torn between two legitimate impulses: to protect us from very real dangers as best they can, and to be liked by us. Unfortunately, these impulses often conflict. If we weren't in danger, we wouldn't need airport screening, electronic or otherwise. The black forest cake deliveryman on his way to grandma's for Oktoberfest in Orlando would have neither his cake nor his Schwarzwälderkirschtortenlieferantenhut searched, never mind the inseam of his lederhosen.

But the murderers won't comply, so we need to search people. The electronic scanners were intended to make such searchers as tolerable as possible.

Of course, there are better ways to screen people, but privacy activists on the left and right claim it's better to inconvenience everyone than single out anyone. For them, profiling passengers is Germanic not in the goofy etymological sense but in the 1930s Gestapo sense.

That's why I have some sympathy for the Obama administration. The president was just shellacked at the polls because many Americans feel the government is too big, too intrusive and too incompetent. The rubber-gloved hand of Leviathan groping our junk is a pretty apt symbol of that mood. The problem for the White House is they not only lack Fingerspitzengefühl, they actually have a thumbless grasp of the national mood.

But Obama is not to blame. Osama bin Laden is. No doubt he is overcome with schadenfreude when he reads that American travelers are overcome with weltschmerz. My only hope is that enough Americans will realize there's got to be a better way, and the next Congress will serve as a Verbesserungsvorschlagsversammlung to figure out how to keep us safe while denying government agents a Fingerspitzengefühl of our junk.


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Government
KEYWORDS: tsa; tsapervs; tsathugs

1 posted on 11/24/2010 2:18:35 PM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

If you are going to call someone a schwarzwälderkirschtortenlieferantenhut, you’d better say that with a smile.


2 posted on 11/24/2010 2:23:03 PM PST by Psalm 144
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To: Kaslin

“But Obama is not to blame. Osama bin Laden is.”

Unprincipled statists and Moslems are both to blame, and docile people who submit to either.


3 posted on 11/24/2010 2:25:39 PM PST by Psalm 144
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To: Jonah Goldberg

Maybe you and Zero can apply lip gloss and practice kissing while you're fondling each other.

4 posted on 11/24/2010 2:31:10 PM PST by I see my hands (How's that ballot box working out for you?)
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To: Psalm 144

Did someone just call me a dumkopf?


5 posted on 11/24/2010 2:39:43 PM PST by kenavi (The good ol' US of A: 57 state laboratories for the future.)
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To: kenavi

Nein


6 posted on 11/24/2010 2:41:08 PM PST by Brad’s Gramma (Here's a thought!! Donate to the website you are on RIGHT NOW!! .... *waves hi to DS*)
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To: Kaslin

I hope my Thanksgiving meal is Fingerlickengut.


7 posted on 11/24/2010 2:53:17 PM PST by Disambiguator
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To: Kaslin
Appropriate, as we have a "sitzspinkler" as president
8 posted on 11/24/2010 3:13:38 PM PST by Species8472 (Hate is a liberal value)
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To: Kaslin
My favorite German expression is:

Das machinen control is nicht fur gerfingerpoken und mittengrabben

And:

Is nicht fur gerverken by das dumnkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseenen keepen das cottenpicken hands in das pockets, so relaxen und watchen das blinkenlight

9 posted on 11/24/2010 3:28:59 PM PST by woofer
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hey, Jonah... Du kannst mich mal am Arsch lecken!
10 posted on 11/24/2010 3:43:08 PM PST by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: Disambiguator; woofer

Isn’t their word for brassiere “kibzimfumfloppen”?


11 posted on 11/24/2010 3:47:20 PM PST by FreeKeys ("The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money."MargaretThatcher)
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To: FreeKeys

I think that means jockstrap


12 posted on 11/24/2010 4:18:36 PM PST by ninonitti
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To: FreeKeys
Yes, and "butterfly" is "Schmetterling" (hint: it schmetters on your windshield).

Cheers!

13 posted on 11/24/2010 4:25:48 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: woofer

“Das machinen control is nicht fur gerfingerpoken und mittengrabben”

I saw that back in the 60’s in Ham Shacks.


14 posted on 11/24/2010 4:48:54 PM PST by dljordan ("His father's sword he hath girded on, And his wild harp slung behind him")
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To: Kaslin

I would have fallen for this article if Big Sis the Totalitarian hadn’t mentioned she wanted to inflict this same insanity on folks who ride trains, buses, and ships. None of which can be flown into a building...


15 posted on 11/24/2010 4:55:01 PM PST by GOPJ ('Power abdicates only under the stress of counter-power." Martin Buber /a Tea-nami's coming..)
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To: Kaslin
I would have fallen for this article if Big Sis the Totalitarian hadn't mentioned she wanted to inflict this same insanity on folks who ride trains, buses, and ships. None of which can be flown into a building...

Can checkpoints between cities be far behind?

16 posted on 11/24/2010 4:55:49 PM PST by GOPJ ('Power abdicates only under the stress of counter-power." Martin Buber /a Tea-nami's coming..)
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To: dljordan

I first saw it when Brown Boveri took over the Electrical Systems Group of the old ITE Imperial from Gould.


17 posted on 11/24/2010 5:36:33 PM PST by woofer
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To: GOPJ
Can checkpoints between cities be far behind?

Oh, I can't wait for the videos of the busloads of illegals being waved through, unsearched.

18 posted on 11/24/2010 6:27:35 PM PST by Charles Martel ("Oh, Bother", said Pooh... as he chambered another round.)
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To: Charles Martel
Oh, I can't wait for the videos of the busloads of illegals being waved through, unsearched.

Yep, if one of our cities gets nuked by some radical Islamic nut, every grandmother driving to her bridge game will be patted down. We'll have more government 'enforcers' than free citizens - we'll be a police state. And not one wit safer.

19 posted on 11/24/2010 7:52:11 PM PST by GOPJ ('Power abdicates only under the stress of counter-power." Martin Buber /a Tea-nami's coming..)
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To: Kaslin
That's why I have some sympathy for the Obama administration.”
-and Goldberg has some of his nose in Obama’s bum.
20 posted on 11/25/2010 3:14:30 PM PST by FBD (My carbon footprint is bigger than yours)
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