Dear Penthouse:
Youre NEVER going to believe this, but this really DID happen to me...(insert perv story about a guy and two chicks who just COULDNT get enough of him, AT THE SAME TIME!, a guy and his girlfriends daughter, a guy and his vacuum cleaner, a guy and a woman he met in the local Grocery Produce Aisle, etc.)
*SMIRK-BARF*
So....this guy spies a young nubile over in the produce section at his local grocery, and angles over for a closer look. They strike up a conversation that is surprisingly easy & comfortable. Soon enough, they have date plans for that very evening.
He picks her up on time, and they both enjoy a wonderful meal & some dancing. Their personalities really click, and they find themselves 'parking' out in the woods at the end of the evening.
After some cuddling & kissing, they move into the back seat for petting & clothes shedding. Just as he is totally worked up, and going in for the ultimate payoff, she stops him.
She explains that she has had a great time, and that she hopes he will ask her out again. But that they really don't know each other very well. Before they can go any further, she has to tell him that by profession she is a prostitute, and therefore she must demand $100 to proceed. She feels badly about it, because she really likes him; but is bound by professional code.
His state of hot & bothered outweighs his anger, so he pays her & they continue to a very satisfactory conclusion.
They dress and return to the front seat. He lights them both a cigarette, turns on the radio, and engages her in some charming conversation.
An hour passes, and it is now well past midnight. She tells him again how much she has enjoyed the evening, that she truly hopes he will ask her out again, but that it is late & she needs to be taken home.
He agrees, saying that he has really enjoyed the date as well. Rather that starting the car, he lights another cigarette & changes the radio station. Another 45 minutes of conversation passes.
More insistantly, she again states that she has enjoyed the date, hopes to do it again, but she really needs him to take her home now.
He reaches for the keys, but at the last moment stops.
He turns & tells her how much he really enjoyed the evening, and that he plans on asking her out again. But, the truth is that they only just met & really don't know each other very well. Before they can go any further he has to tell her that by profession he drives a taxi....