I live in a military town, and here's what I "understand":
When I see a Major in the United States Army kiss his Captain wife (who obviously have done a bit more than kissing, since they have 3 children together), I know that no one is calling up the military to complain. I do know if two homosexuals were caught holding hands and it was discovered that they were in the military, action WOULD be taken.
Regarding your PC video of Allen West. Poor guy, he was falling all over himself trying not to offend anyone. Here's some background for you on homosexuals in the military, and how our Founding Fathers perceived the behavior:
"General Washington held a clear understanding of the rules for order and discipline, and as the original Commander-in-Chief, he was the first not only to forbid, but even to punish, homosexuals in the military."
Linkd to Wallbuilders.com
Regarding DADT: according to the Center for Military Readiness, DADT was defeated in Congress:
"In 1993 members of Congress gave serious consideration to a proposal known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” which was announced by President Clinton on July 19, 1993. The concept suggested that homosexuals could serve in the military as long as they didn’t say they were homosexual. Congress wisely rejected the convoluted “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” concept and did not write it into law. Members recognized an inherent inconsistency that would render that policy unworkable and indefensible in court: If homosexuality is not a disqualifying characteristic, how can the armed forces justify dismissal of a person who merely reveals the presence of such a characteristic? Instead of approving such a convoluted and legally-questionable concept, Congress chose to codify Defense Department regulations that were in place long before Bill Clinton took office."
Link to CMR
I didn’t refer to the code of conduct meaning “ever”. Obviously I have family who are military and who interact normally at home quite often. There are plenty of incidences with which heterosexual individuals commit misconduct and are punished for it, because the military does not want to have to deal with lawsuits.
As I noted from the CMR’s statistics that you linked me to, pregnancy of the personnel or sexual misconduct between personnel were listed at decent portions out of the total disciplinary discharges. There are certainly standards for sexual conduct, and indiscretion, and it certainly is a punishable offense from the discharge statistics, if not, people would not receive the discharges for it.
Allen West wasn’t entirely PC in what he said. He did make the point that discretion and self-control were a standard, and he was also true to say that homosexuality does not forbid someone from being in the military. It certainly is for a great deal of the soldiers who serve, with few exceptions. The conduct, even as he mentioned, was not governing home, it was about combat duty.
You and I probably agree that the people who should be in the military are there because they really are making serious sacrifices and commitments to be there. It’s not the same as civilian society.
The real part that sticks to the argument against repealing DADT, is that discharges specifically for homosexuality alone are rare. Far more often doing drugs, getting pregnant, or obesity are the reasoning behind a disciplinary discharge. Not even 1% out of thousands of disciplinary discharges are for homosexuality. That hardly makes them a super-victimized group.