In DADT, the case is that you can most certainly be gay and serve, but you should keep the behavior to yourself. The same is true for heterosexuals in the sense that if I were a man in the military, It is against the rules for me to practice sexual behavior with female military personnel.
So what you're saying is this: If a soldier (be it in uniform or out) is caught kissing a member of the same sex, it would be handled the same way as if a soldier (in uniform or out) were caught kissing his girlfriend or wife?
Do you understand the military rules on sexual conduct at all? Adultery, or getting caught while serving in the military is a punishable offense. A high-ranking officer is also not allowed with little exception, to hold his wife’s own hand. Do homosexuals want to live under such rules, because frankly that’s what everyone else lives under thus far.
I would recommend you watch Allen West’s explanation of why DADT works right here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVQ14IgCDE8