Posted on 09/22/2010 4:50:02 PM PDT by fanfan
~snip~
For many years Canadian justice ministers from both governing federal parties seem to have been more concerned with protecting the interests of the divorce industry, which takes up 40% of Canadian courts' time, rather than serving the needs of children. According to a 2003 study by actuary Brian Jenkins, "What do the children want?", 86% of children in North America have no voice in custody arrangements.
Decades ago women told men they had to take more responsibility for active parenting. They listened. Fathers have earned the moral right to equality of involvement in their children's lives in post-separation agreements as a matter of social justice. It is now up to our legislatures and judiciary to assume responsibility for establishing an equal-parenting presumption in law.
(Excerpt) Read more at nationalpost.com ...
Flip a coin? The children could and would, come up with a better plan than that.
If fathers had an even money chance of getting custody of their kids (instead of virtually no chance), it might change things.
I know you are trying to say something here. ;-)
The thing that needs to be changed is the courts assigning custody to mothers vs. fathers 94/6%
I went through it 12-15 years ago. Same type visitation. I made it a point to see them as much as possible which meant picking them up at their mom’s house for school every morning and taking them home in the afternoon.
When she started dating men wholesale I’d offer to babysit the kids and bring them home after she’d had dinner. That lasted all of two weeks when she started wanting the guys to stay over. So I gradually kept the kids twice a week and every other weekend.
After this went on for a year I went to court for a change in visitation which she didn’t fight.
As the kids get older they can put pressure on her to let them stay with you. Until then you have to nurture the relationship with them as much as you can.
It’s a sacrifice but well worth it.
I about broke down last week when the kids took me out to dinner for my Birthday. At 19 and 23 they seem to have matured rapidly in just the few past months and it really hit me hard that all the crap we went through is now over and they turned out to be stable, healthy individuals who know who they are on the inside.
you are part of the problem
God is the only reality
our preoccupation with sex is like in the days of Caligula
and guess again, loser, you can make people happy, maybe you should try it sometime
I went through this 25 years ago . Never did I think that a justice system could be so self serving , so bias and so vicious . I had every other weekend , but she moved 150 miles away , which meant 600 miles round trip for me on my weekend . But the one thing I realized very early was that kids grow up and will decide for themselves how they were treated . So I did what I had to do and I drove a lot . And all the time I tried to be myself , be a Dad and endure .
Time flies and eventually all 3 kids ended up living with me .
And every once in a while, as what happened a couple of weeks ago , I get some payback . I got an email from my oldest son who is now 36 . He was filling me in one something that was happening in his life and then came the most wonderful words ,,,Hey you old fart..I love you .
Doesn't get any better than that.
try to get your family back together by being good to their mother
I can't stress enough how much you need to talk to God. He will help you. You only have to ask.
hey fan
there is no fairness in family law. You got that right. It’s a mess made by the adults. The “law” tries to do what it can to salvage the situation. The situation is unsalvageable. The kids are always hurt and it is the adults’ fault.
sorry, GOD and the church is not the answer for me. They still allow my divorced wife to volunteer and act as business as usual. They do not uphold their own rituals, I wont go there for guidance..
A family member was faced with “joint custody” issues. He decided not to let the courts determine his visitation. Worked it out with her. One of the things he does is calls to take his son on short trips...icecream run...Borders...and or a school game. This in addition to his “formal” visitation. So far this is working, she pretty much let’s him be with his son whenever possible.
Their divorce agreement will sstate she will not move from the area. Which was his intitial concern.
Wish you the best.
no matter. If you were married before God and the congregation, the legal divorce be dam8ed, you are still married in the spiritual world and that cannot change. The two have become one flesh and no man can put it asunder. It may take a long time, but God was a party to that covenant and is on the side of the marriage. If you filed, and you remarry, it’s adultery. If she filed and she remarries, it’s adultery.
Now there are other commands: Husbands, love your wives, like Christ loved the Church, honor your wife in your life together..you have got to be willing to lay your life down for her, not just if she deserves it, but BECAUSE she is your wife, kapish? It is the vow you took and God is holding you to it, whether you like it or not.
Mens groups are working now in having a say in unwanted pregnancies. They want to have the right in abortion decisions. If the man says abort it but the woman has it anyway, dad would have the right to reject the kid.
I wasn't talking about sex. I was talking about love.................as in:
The two have become one flesh, just they way God intended.
and guess again, loser,
Excuse me??? How rude. Can't you have a civilized argument/debate?
you can make people happy, maybe you should try it sometime
No one can make/force another person to feel happy.
No it doesn't. The court system very rarely tries to salvage anything. It denies children their right to a father, it denies fathers their right to their children. All the while using the State to finance the fleece. Keeps the laywers working, eh?
It allows men to be held in a kind of debtors prison even in cases where it is proved the man wasn't the father. In other words, your law is being used for no less than fraud in some cases.
People will divorce, so you better get over that right now, and deal with reality.
The point of this thread is that Men have been shafted all these years. Both as boys, and fathers. Let's fix that imbalance. Children need their fathers and mothers.
Are you male, or female?
About time.
I agree with your first statement. It is ASSUMED by the divorce cottage industry (lawyers, family court, gov’t matriachy support, err, i mean “child” support collectors) that the biomom having full custody is in the best interests of the children.
Nothing could be further from the truth. And b/c these women KNOW they’ll get custody they do file for divorce most of the time. Today’s women are “stay-in-bed” moms or “stay-on-facebook” moms. They do not do household chores or childcare. They just love collecting “child” support and most are extremely promiscuous.
That being said, custody should be automatically 50/50 with NO child support changing hands (cash prize incentives for the BM aka biomom) 99.9% of the time.
IN ADDITION, there is something called “Parental Alienation” mostly committed by these same BMs who have custody. They villianize the fathers in front of their own children and also schedule, without consent from dad, boatloads of extracurricular activities on dad’s “visitation” time. Let’s face it, you can’t bond with dad or, heaven forbid, stepmom, if you’re kicking a soccer ball around.
Any parent (usually the BM) caught alienating the children against the other parent (usually dad) will face an immediate PERMANENT loss of custody as you cannot rehabilitate narcissism (look at Obummer for an example)
This will also go a long way to:
1. dropping the divorce rate (no custody/cash prize incentives)
2. reducing parental alienation which is child abuse on the same level as emotional/sexual abuse.
3. reduce improper parenting that is a given considering the horrendous militant pro-woman system that we have now. It will kill the failed “self esteem” movement, guilt parenting (giving the children what they want and not giving them any boundaries, structure, expectation)
Feeling SORRY for them instead of having goals for them and teaching them social skills.
4. this will result in fewer products of “guilt parenting” (see Obummer) where little Jordan or Skylynne grow to be self absorbed, permanently unhappy (due to being extremely jaded and spoiled), devoid of all empathy for others, well, monsters. (see Obummer) Lowering the need for “meds” (ADHD, ODD, and all the other syndromes which are really “LOB” lack of belt and the father’s disciplinary role in the family)
5. Marriage will increase, stronger families will result.
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