Posted on 09/22/2010 4:50:02 PM PDT by fanfan
~snip~
For many years Canadian justice ministers from both governing federal parties seem to have been more concerned with protecting the interests of the divorce industry, which takes up 40% of Canadian courts' time, rather than serving the needs of children. According to a 2003 study by actuary Brian Jenkins, "What do the children want?", 86% of children in North America have no voice in custody arrangements.
Decades ago women told men they had to take more responsibility for active parenting. They listened. Fathers have earned the moral right to equality of involvement in their children's lives in post-separation agreements as a matter of social justice. It is now up to our legislatures and judiciary to assume responsibility for establishing an equal-parenting presumption in law.
(Excerpt) Read more at nationalpost.com ...
I have seen so many men ruined by the "family" courts. Men who adored their children, and yet had all access to their children cut off. It's heartbreaking for all involved, and it shouldn't be allowed by the courts.
Kids need a Mom, and a Dad. Both.
Hat tip GMMAC.
:-)
the children want no divorce.
so fathers stop acting like babies and come home from work
or fathers stop acting like babies and work
mothers take good care of your children and home
adults—get off drugs and alcohol
adults — get off sex
fathers keep your mitts off your daughters
parents take your children to church
parents try to make your children happy
parents you made the kids, now grow up, lose your quest for “self actualization” and learn the beauty of self sacrifice
Kids need a Mom and a Dad who need to act like mature adults, find some way to get along and put the needs of their children ahead of their own.
Since I’m living this, I’ll use this thread to ask...
I’m recently divorced and I agree, the kids said they wanted 50/50 and mom said no. court sided with mom...
Now let me ask a question if I may... Is it normal, that after a year and a half, when I do see my kids - every Tuesday for 2 hours after school and every Thursday overnight, with every other weekend. Is is normal, a year and a half later, to still have... maybe it’s separation anxiety... That I hurt so bad when dropping them off that I almost am about to no see them for a while to help the feelings?
I don’t understand it. I’m a manly man, and I don’t cry to often. but every time I drop off my kids, I about lose it and I am not comfortable the whole time they are gone...
What the heck do I do to get over this??
Dunno why I am asking here, but I did so, spare me any flamage for doin so...
LOL!
>>adults — get off sex?
Adults, take time to enjoy the love you share. That love that brought you together in the first place!
>>parents take your children to church
Parents, teach your children the value of a life lived in honour.
>>parents try to make your children happy
OK, now you are cracking me up!
You can’t ‘make’ someone happy! LOL!
Our side has got to better understand how to effectively use language in this war.
Instead of asking the government to “give our rights back”, how about telling them to “stop infringing on my rights.”
The former sound so passive and pathetic.
wow... that last sentence in the middle paragraph I do not even know what I said! sorry!
It's normal! You miss them. You used to live with your kids, and you love them. *hug*
What the heck do I do to get over this??
You don't. Sigh. All you can do is work towards more time with your kids, regardless of your ex-wife's preferences.
Unfortunately, in spite of this article, I don't see the odds for fairness in "family law" changing anytime soon.
You're a dad. And a good one. The idea that "manly men" shouldn't feel sorrow at being separated from their children is a misguided one. Let your kids know that you miss them when they are not with you and you are super glad to see them again. I am not advocating you cry buckets wearing sack cloth and ashes while driving them back to their mom's house but being stoic can often be mistaken for indifference.
What the heck do I do to get over this??
You don't. You are missing a part of their childhood that you shouldn't. There is no way to get over that. You can only endure it and maximize the time you have with them.
Don't tell my mom that! I can still feel her finger prints on my ear where she grabbed it while she hauled my brother and me to the table. "We are going to have a happy, peaceful family dinner if I have to crack both your heads to get it!"
Thanks... I was startin to think I wasn’t right in the head...
I know now what I was going to say in that sentence. I am alomst at the point of not taking them a time or two when it’s my time to try to beat back these feelings...
thanks . .
I’m not sure I agree.
Over the last 20 years, “They” have been taking away our rights.
Most of the time, we didn’t even notice!
I’ve noticed now, and I want my rights back.
LOL! Exactly!
Rights are unalienable, they can’t be taken away, only infringed upon.
Generally, the parent who is most confident about getting custody of the kids will be the one to initiate divorce. Women get custody of the kids 85% of the time, so it’s not surprising that they are usually the ones who file for divorce (70%-80% of the time).
Instead of default maternal custody, let’s just flip a coin for it if all other things are equal (no abuse by either parent, etc.).
If fathers had an even money chance of getting custody of their kids (instead of virtually no chance), it might change things. If women had to worry about losing custody of the children in a divorce, maybe they’d be more likely to think twice before “cashing out”, or leaving for EatPrayLove-type self-actualization when they get bored.
I see the point you are making. but we need to reach regular people, and "Give fathers their rights back" explains the problem, while offering the solution, in easy to understand language.
Do we agree on the solution?
No, don’t give up.
If it’s not a friendly divorce, watch your back, but with your kids, behave like everything is as normal as possible.
This is their childhood. They don’t get another one.
Encourage them, and hug them.
And don’t let them get away with any Liberal excuses!
They’ll be fine, if you can relax, and just be their Dad.
Teach them what you know.
;-)
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