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Thanks for the update...so now we also have a timeline...... - Graduated HS in 1991 (we assume)

Nope.

- Couldn't cut college though you tried twice(through 1993)

Nah, I liked Liberty University fine. GPA was really only marred by my two "F"s in my mandatory Religion classes -- which I didn't attend, because I objected to them being mandatory.

But, yeah, I hated OU.

- Couldn't make it in unskilled labor in Alaska (1994 and beyond?)

Just 1994. Salmon fishing was great, crab fishing not so fun; but I did leave when the Halibut season ended. It gets kinda cold up there after October.

- Went to work for a notorious boiler room and could have actively participated in a criminal enterprise(did you even have a Series 7. Probably the easiest professional examination in America)(mid-1996)

I did think that the Series 7 was awfully easy. You're right about that. Even tutored an weekend Options class for Stratton when I worked in New York.

- Bum in the Florida Keys (I'll bet your Mitsubishi was really tricked out and a chick magnet. See next point)

Stock Broker in the Florida Keys (Still had my 7, don'cha know). But that's pretty much the same thing as a bum, I'll admit that.

- Couldn't find a woman your age so you got a young and impressionable woman to marry you.

Very young, indeed. And very cute.
You're right, I'm certainly not complaining.

Hmmmmmm........ A record of stunning mediocrity with no apparent success at anything after high school. And you are lecturing the anonymous masses on theology and economics. Is this a great country or what!!

And yet, you find my life so utterly compelling, that you're obsessively compiling every bit of personal information that you can gather on me.

I'm touched, and deeply honored. I accept your awed fascination with complete goodwill.

I'm sorry that your own life fails to inspire any such fascination on my part, but I can certainly send you some votive candles, if you'd like. Feel free to print off my profile picture for your shrine.

You can't actually glean any of my power by holding it closely to your heart (so far as I know); but if it satisfies any of your deep emotional needs, I'm glad to be of help to you.