Posted on 04/13/2010 6:59:30 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
What an egregiously hostile remark. Refer to post 148.
Stay well.
That is such a good line. I think it should be on FR's homepage.
Look, Megan, you have to understand, it's not your family's success that's being "attacked" as you so inadequately put it, it's your presentation of that success. I'm glad that there are families like yours out there, and I hope you keep on being happy and successful.
However...no one here knows anything about you, you just signed up today, we're not your next-door neighbors. Therefore we can only identify who you are based on what you tell us and, more importantly, HOW you tell us. Some FReepers saw you as wisely preparing to be a good SAHM and a good wife, others saw it as a transparent "going-on-a-manhunt" kind of thing. Frankly, I can see merits to both POVs. In the end, though, you have to make your husband happy, and it sounds like he is, so good for you, and that's really all that matters.
One thing about this site that you MUST get used to, if you're going to throw your hat in the ring, is that people WILL challenge your ideas and opinions. You HAVE to have thick skin. God knows I've been smacked down a time or two here.
If you are genuine, welcome. If not, you're definitely not going to last long.
Thanks anyway.
As a child of the 1950s, I can speak of the differences between then and now. Life was both simpler and cheaper.
There are so many things today that people think of as necessities that even if available in the 1950s they would be considered luxury. These new “necessities” all have one thing in common, you need to pay for them each month.
Telephones in the 1950 - If you had a telephone it was basic black rotary, there would be only one in the house, and it was most likely on a party line. Many did not have telephones in the early 1950s (why do you think there were public phones everywhere.) Today, almost every member of the family has a cell phone. Depending on the plans and services they can easily take up several hundred dollars a month to service. (I know there are cheap ones available, but many choose to spend their money on having the newest and the bestest).
Television in the 1950s - Television was invented before WWII, but because of the war did not take off until the 1950s. First half of the decade televisions were rare, few families had one (and if they did, there was only one in the house). Our family did not get a television until the mid 1950s and it was used. The good thing was once you bought it, that was the end of the expense (other than electricity) Today most homes have more than one television, plus there is cable, a monthly expense. As with telephones there are a variety of plans. A person could easily spend hundreds of dollars a month having all the channels available. This is certainly an expense that did not exist in the 1950s.
Automobiles in the 1950s - Cars were a luxury. If you had a car, like other things, there would have only been one. It was shared. Public transit was available and used. As a child I knew my way around the city using the city buses (off topic but no one was concerned with a 10 year old traveling alone on a bus) I know the routes, and the transfers. Today, families often have two or more cars. Cost of cars go beyond price of the car it includes insurance and maintenance. Few would consider driving an old car (We have two cars, mine is a 20 year old Pontiac, but because it was maintained it still runs well).
Computers/ Games - Games in the 1950s were either board games, card games, or outside games. None of which required much in money. Computers and the connection to the internet (an on going cost) as well as computer games are a drain on many household budgets.
Entertainment - In the 1950s movies were a quarter. A dollar would get you a full days entertainment of two movies, features, news, cartoon and snacks. Today there are many places that will provide entertainment in exchange for your money. Taking a family to a movie today is expensive.
Eating out - Most families did not eat out in the 1950s. Perhaps when traveling on vacation, but just to go out to dinner was almost unheard of. I think I was 10 or 11 before I ever eaten at a restaurant. When we traveled we took our own food with us. I remember as a kid reading MAD magazine and they were making fun of Pizza (how difficult it was to eat) and I did not get the joke because I had never seen or heard of pizza. Today one of the biggest expense families have is food prepared outside the home. Eating out seems to be the norm. This can be very expensive.
Credit - Easy, credit did not exist in the 1950s for the average family. Sure, you may have an account at the local corner grocery store, but it was paid off if not weekly, monthly, and no interest. If you wanted something but did not have the money there was lay a way. You pick out the item, it was put in the back of the store and you paid a little each week until it was paid for at which time you got to take it home. Today some seem not to be able to live without credit, and this comes with a very high price. The interest charges take a good portion of their income, money that could be used for other things.
I could go on, but you get the picture. The 1950s were simpler times. We can not go back to those days but people can budget their money better. Decide what is important and what is not important.
The most important thing however is do not spend more than you have. If you have extra money, have fun, but don’t go into debt to have fun. The financial hangover when the party ends is going to hurt.
Nobody cared at all as long as your clothes were clean and your shoes didn't have holes.
My new next door neighbor with 3 kids got kicked out by her husband for running around. Destitute, her dad co signed a deed of trust for a house.
She moved in and immediately began auditioning husbands. One apparently liked the 17 year old daughter and both left. Fortunately after two years and 4 live in lovers, she attended an auction where she purchased a night on the town with a studly vet/postman with 2 kids of his own. It was a match, both had teen age daughters and 10 year old sons.
They immediately began to fix up the place. Word on the street is they took out a series of loans to put in the pool, new windows, siding and soffits, remolded interior, etc. Then there was a garage to house the vintage car to be restored.
His daughter missed out. She lived with her mom and had no pool or wide screen theater TV. Her step sister did. she brought down the police who tracked her to her dad’s place where she had run.
Then the second daughter, now 16 became dissatisfied because she had to share with the prodigal stepsister and reacted by getting pregnant. The house was put up for sale because it was too small for the family that now included two adults, two teenage daughters, one of which was pregnant, two boys, two dogs and a cat.
Unfortunately, the market bottom fell out and there were no buyers of overpriced houses fixed up by contractors with no sweat equity. After about three months and realization that the dreams of flipping the house and a killing were not coming to pass, the stepdaughter left and seeming peace resumed.
That is until recently. The Mother and son left. Moved out, gone. Even though she had created a paradise, she saw greener grass out side the fence and her studly husband who wears a sign “will mow yards for sex” was left in the house with his son and returned prodigal daughter.
Then in March, the mother and son (the grandmother actually, the young mother and baby were kicked out when the baby turned 1) left, gone. She left paradise for greener pastures and left the stud (who wears a sign “Will mow grass for sex)his son, and the two dogs.
Alas it was not to be. She was kicked out by her sister and her parents and was forced to return. The economic pressure was too great. Her dad had title to the house and her husband had title to the notes for the improvements. She was in the middle with her signature on all the paper and no place to live.
The house is up for sale at an outrageous price and no takers. An open house drew one, that is one looker.
Life for Americans is definitely tough. I wonder sometimes how they stand it.
You are correct about clothes. And most of our new clothes came at Christmas, new school year and Easter. I hated Santa for bringing clothes instead of toys but now I understand.
Start of school was time for new shoes a couple of pair of pants and some shirts. Easter was when we got our one “best outfit”.
I came from a large family and clothes were passed down.
Another difference was vacations. Hardly anybody I knew ever got on a plane to go somewhere for vacation. You piled into the station wagon and drove to the mountains or the beach and spent two weeks jammed into a cabin. Great fun (seriously). Summer camp was rec at the school, not $700/week private sports camp.
If you were white, had a little money and nobody in the family was sick the fifties were a good time. I'd wager that, for kids at least, the same was true for black Americans.
It’s a beautiful thing when a whore admits what she is.
________________________________________________
In my world a woman who prepares herself academically and physically with the sole purpose of marrying the best available meal ticket is a whore, educated and fit but still a whore.
We were on the bottom of the economic scale. My step father was sick for the last few years of his life. We lived in a mixed neighborhood so we were all in the same boat. And we still managed to get the basic necessities of life and have a decent childhood. We just did not have a lot of extras.
My point is it is the "extras" that are a financial drain on many's monthly budget. Extras are okay if you have the money.
I was not always debt free. Up until I was around 35 I was like everyone else, having a good life on credit. I then realized I was deciding what I could afford to buy based on the monthly minimum payment. I then realized I was still paying for things that had already worn out and been tossed aside. It was time to get my act together.
It was not easy. I went from having it all to having almost nothing. While my friends and family moved up to the big homes, quads, boats, new cars, the latest electronics we stayed in our older home and older still furniture.
But in time all debts were paid (including the mortgage) and my savings took off. I could now afford the extras but discovered I no longer need them.
I lost my job when I turned 59. My skills were good but because of my age it was difficult to find work so I just "retired". It was not the end of the world (actually a beginning to a new life). We cut out some extras, and my wife's salary was able to carry us until I began drawing social security. As it turns out, most of that goes into savings as well. We cut back so far but do not miss anything.
When my wife quits work in a year or two we have a list of things we will cut. We do not spend more than we make, but we still spend more than we need to.
Best of luck to you.
I think it is easier to be poor when you have already been poor.
The neccessities of life are food, shelter and clothing. Everything else is extra. From there it is only a matter of quality.
Money can make your life easier, but it can not make you happier.
I would like to think we will not become homeless but anything is possible. I would also like to think I would bare up to it like Job. Perhaps it would be a test of my faith.
Luck plays a part of life. But like in Las Vegas, those that understand the games and the odds seem to have better luck than those that do not.
I’ve been broke plenty of times. I’ve been flush a few times. Now things are pretty stable but with the roller coaster we’re all on who can say what ten years from today will look like?
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