That said, I had a gay Mormon friend who told me——
that is about as far as I got because you paint a wide brush over something you are totally (by your own words) ignorant about.
Every group has disaffected members-sometimes looking for any excuse to bash, sometimes things were not done the way they should have been. But that is something you clearly do not know any thing about.
This is definitely anecdotal, but I lived in San Francisco and knew a lot of gays and a disproportionate number had been brought up as Mormons. The general feeling I got was that Mormonism confused middle class American life of the 1950s with religion, and it therefore set up ideals that were impossible to live with 30-40 yrs later (especially if you ventured outside a Mormon community) and were off-focus to begin with.
When Mormons wanted to lay down their arms, cease attacking the US, set aside their extra wives and prove their bona fides as good citizens, they focused on passing externals (white shirts and dark ties, anyone?). I think the result of that, combined with the failure to be able to honestly discuss the contradictions and anti-Christian nature of Joseph Smith’s visions and Brigham Young’s creation of a cult, led to a situation where anyone who had any serious questions couldn’t stay with the group because the questions could never be honestly resolved.