Posted on 03/05/2010 5:38:06 AM PST by Elle Bee
As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.
Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.
"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."
If that weren't enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.
The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months' probation.
Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.
Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the Thunderbird hit him, traveling about 45 mph, which was within the speed limit, Dunick said.
Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.
"She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick said. "It was like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?' "
Burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.
Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.
Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.
"My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there's a funny side to this, but it's also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this," Dunick said. "It is unbelievable. I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys."
alinhardt@keysnews.com
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A few years ago, my hub and I on the freeway heading to a doctor's appointment, we weren't going full speed, early morning traffic, but not quite stop-and-go. At one point, I looked over at the car next to us, the woman driving was eating a bowl of Cheerios, milk, spoon, the whole deal, she had the bowl resting on the wheel. I couldn't believe it!!
She got hers, though ... traffic slowed, the guy ahead of her stopping too quick, yep, oops, bowl upends all over her chest.
I'm laughing again at the memory!
Who knows. Heavy drinking doesn't exactly make one look better either.
Stay Out Da Bushes!
Now imagine her with a partially shaved beaver.
Guiltier!
Yesterday, I was returning home on I80 West bound.
I was in the lane inside of the fast lane 80-100 doing the obligatory speed to keep from getting ran over the 80-100 mph herds.
The car behind me honked, and I looked in my rearview mirror and he was pointing at the red blur partly in my lane and partly in the super fast lane heading for my left rear fender.
A bimbo was texting, checking her lipstick in her rearview mirror and her car was going down the middle of the line markers. Fortunately, I was able to get over as she swerved past me. When people honked at her, they got the one fingered salute with her lipstick.
A few miles down the way, a sheriff’s car came on the freeway and pulled her over after several minutes of honking his horn and apparently using his loud speaker. He, also, got the one finger salute from the bimbo.
I guess someone called the sheriff’s office since you can wait hours to get the CHP 911.
Tubebender, this was another one of those trips without seeing a CHP for the 160 mile roundtrip.
You know you are in trouble when you notice your girlfriends “Epilady” is made by Husqvarna.
...and the chain blade is dull and pitted. TIMBER!!
LOL!
Rev. Jackson didn't follow his own admonition. He stayed too long in da bushes and was rewarded with a daughter out of wedlock!
Most likely?
When was the last time you had an eye exam?
“It was like the old comedy bit, ‘Who’s on first?’ “
I was thinking it’s more like “Who’s on third?”
“No, officer, I didn’t wreck because I hit a beaver, I wrecked because I knicked my beaver!”
IDIOT!
Great. A Shyster will try to get this before a jury of their peers and screw Ford out of some cash.
The other way ‘round. She was driving when she caused the collision and then, knowing that she’d be busted, got her ex-hubby (and cabbie-to-boytoy!) to switch places with her.
The cops figured out the scam when they noticed that the driver’s airbag didn’t go off, but the passenger airbag bruises were not on the woman, but the ex-hubby (cabbie-to-boytoy!).
...but you reserve the right to choose, with what.
Surely you mean 1979.
that’s a lady? show me the long form b.c.!
Read the article, her airbag didn’t deploy, only the passenger side did, that is how they caught them in the lie about the ex driving.
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