I think there’s a happy medium. I still remember the wooden spoon that broke when I spanked my son with it...but of course, I also remember my mother’s hairbrush that broke when she spanked me with it! In neither case were these things it would have been very hard to break, btw. It was more symbolic than anything else, but it made an impression.
Spanking was only for things like playing with fire, trying to do bodily harm to a sibling, etc.
I hate the yuppy flake parenting style where they plead with the child to understand their point of view.
But, oddly enough, I have noticed that the group with the most dysfunctional children, blacks, have very severe parenting styles. Children are never spoken to in a normal voice, always screamed at, and usually hauled across the room and slapped and shaken for good measure. I’m sure these parents think they are doing the best for their children, but that’s not the way to do it.
As this article points out, smacking needs to be administered by a loving parent. There’s a big difference between disciplining a child out of love and being mean to your children all the time.
I was occasionally smacked as a child, and I certainly think it did some good. It taught me a basic sense of justice. And oddly enough, the few times I was spanked for something I didn’t do also taught me an acceptable lesson. I understood that the “injustice” was not purposely inflicted on me but was meant for the best, and I also came to understand, “that’s life.”
Besides, as someone once pointed out, if you didn’t do THAT, you certainly did something else!