Soft toilet paper becomes target of environmentalists

kansas.com ^ | 12-17-09 | Donald Bradley

[IAMIUBU]

Thanks! I needed the laugh!

[CholeraJoe]

Drinking fountains like that one are really messy and too low to the floor.

[EveningStar]

(_o^o_)

[oyez]

Redwood and old growth timber is too valuble to use for toilet paper and it wouldn’t make a quality tissue.

[Pessimist]

By their stat that would mean you get what? only 250 rolls per tree?

[Pharmboy]

Sounds like the envirowackos are running out of ways to annoy us...they’re certainly scraping the bottom for this one.

[dainbramaged]

There was that episode of the Man Show where Jimmy Kimmel wiped with a cat.

[BJClinton]

Al...you're supposed to wipe and throw it in the toilet.

[Atlas Sneezed]

Rabbit is hopping along the forest one day, when he comes upon Bear taking a dump.

Bear says, “Rabbit, do you have a problem with sh!t sticking to your fur?”

Rabbit replies, “No Bear, I don’t. Why do you ask?”

So Bear grabs Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

---

Actually, the joke works more logically this way:

Rabbit is hopping along the forest one day, when he comes upon Bear taking a dump.

Bear says, “Rabbit, do you have a problem with sh!t sticking to your fur?”

Rabbit replies, “Oh yeah, doncha just hate that?”

So Bear grabs Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

[traditional1]

"Soft toilet paper becomes target of environmentalists"

That's right, Amerika; these folks won't rest until we're all using 80 grit on a belt sander instead of the "Squeezably Soft"/Mr. Whipple stuff.....

[marron]

There is something wrong with someone who worries about your use of toilet paper. This isn’t a political issue. This is a mental health issue. Someone who obsesses over what you do in the toilet isn’t going to be satisfied with anything you do or don’t do, this isn’t about you anymore, its something missing in his own psyche.

Don’t bother arguing with crazy people. Ignore them. Defeat them if it comes to that, but otherwise ignore them. Don’t ask their opinions about anything, and don’t debate them, because they are crazy.

[NCC-1701]

Just one little question. How many trees were destroyed to print the results of this “study”?

[JudyinCanada]

Yup - they had to remove the evil dye. I bought up as much as I could, but, alas, it’s all gone. IIRC, it was Cottonelle.

[DesertRhino]

I was shopping at whole foods once, (after the nuts started the leftist boycott because the CEO came out against socialized medicine)

Needed a roll. Bought ONE roll of “7th Generation” toilet paper, with great suspicion. I was not dissappointed. Worst toilet paper ever. What is it about these liberal luddites that they hate everything that makes life better?

[marron]

It is not about the ecology, it is about power and control.

Exactly. This is someone who wants to micromanage you right down to obsessing over what you do in the toilet.

[combat_boots]

I guess the enviro-con folks don’t know much about people who don’t get along well with a lot of food and whatever is in it.

Bidet or Charmin Ultra. Bidet or Charmin Ultra. Hmmmmm.

[Little Ray]

No wonder hippies stink.

[The Comedian]

This is exactly what we get for preventing these people, when they were children, from sticking that fork into the wall outlet.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[Night Hides Not]

I thought those were fancy drinking fountains.

Wow! I didn't think there were any Aggies in Minnesota! :^)

[hennie pennie]

>>> "This is exactly what we get for preventing these people, when they were children, from sticking that fork into the wall outlet." <<<<

rotflololololololololllling!!