I believe you’re right. Every lesbian I ever knew either had an abusive father or an abusive ex-husband. Also, in every case, they were capable of getting huge crushes on men.
Males might be “born gay,” but I firmly believe that females are not.
I think (from my experience of gay men) that a lot of them are responding to things in their childhood or past, too. When I lived in SF, I had two gay male friends who had both been molested by foster mothers as children, and over the years I met several gay men who really wanted to get married - to women. But they were trapped in the world they were in, and I think it was harder for them to move out of it, at that time, at least.
That’s one of the reasons I think these pro-gay programs in schools are so horrible. They take kids at a very vulnerable age and tell them that something that they may be passing through, possibly in response to abuse or some external factor, is a permanent state and that they are defined forever.