R.I.P. Global Warming. You’ve scared a lot of people, including innocent kids. You’ve tricked us into wasting untold precious resources on your imaginary crisis, while people were starving and desperate and dying. You’ve deprived them of help with your loud and incessant whining, demanding constant attention with all your drama and hype. You’ve deceived a generation. But now the game is over. Goodbye and good riddance. We won’t miss you.
P.S. I never believed in you anyway. Creep.
No joke, I was in first grade back in 1990, when this stuff really started taking off. I remember distinctly my teacher telling us, “If you don’t pick up the garbage outside, the light will shine on that garbage and cause the Ozone to get bigger.” I believed that for a lot of years. Until I got old enough to realize, WTF? We also performed a musical on the effects of global warming and pollution, and this was in the early 90’s at public school of course.