Obama's War on Fox News Becomes a Quagmire

People's Cube ^ | 10-20-09 | Red Square

[tcrlaf]

THE WHITE HOUSE - Despite the President's promise of a swift and decisive victory, Obama's War on Fox News has developed all signs of an unwinnable quagmire, making the White House even more isolated in its unilateral attempts to crush the growing media insurgency.

As the war continues to grind on for a second month, public opinion is shifting towards a quick and complete withdrawal. While many observers still agree that the "War on Limbaugh" is a "just and necessary war," even the former supporters of the war effort are now labeling the War on Fox an "unnecessary war of choice" and claim that the cable channel had nothing to do with Obama's falling approval numbers.

Some say that the general in charge, Anita Dunn, greatly underestimated the power of fiery critic Glenn "Muqtada" Beck and his band of radical followers, who have inflicted heavy casualties on White House forces.

The war has recently passed an ugly milestone as Obama's hand-picked czar Van Jones exploded in the middle of the battlefield littered with pencils, notebooks, blackberries, and media tags, sending shockwaves of terror through the ranks of reporters in the service of the administration.

Accusations of war crimes continue to surface, the most recent war atrocity being Katie Couric's interview with Glenn Beck, after which the prominent Fox News commentator was found outside the CBS studios disoriented, with plucked eyebrows, and a coveted jar of M&Ms stolen from his pocket.

While the notorious Guantanamo Bay prison is being shut down, President Obama is rumored to be in talks with Fidel Castro to use the East German political prison on Cuba's Isle of Pines as a secret detention center for the "enemy commentators."

However, the White House's unilateral decision to classify all Fox News journalists as "enemy commentators" has been roundly criticized by human rights organizations, who maintain they should be covered by the "Inside the Beltway Convention."

At home, the numbers if mainstream media outlets sending troops to War on Fox News have dwindled. The most notably absent is the New York Times, which has so far refused to enter the war. A stern-faced and combative President Obama, surrounded by veterans of press corps and families of donors, denounced their action as an "act of treason," rejecting any timetable on his war.

But while the President drapes his unpopular policies with concern for the well-being of American journalism, more and more editors, reporters, and even unionized janitorial staff are beginning to oppose their commander-in-chief for trying to "win" an unwinnable war with their hands, instead of just using executive powers to ban all dissenting speech.

"I've been in the media for a long time, I signed up because I hate this right-wing, knuckle-dragging, imperialist system, and I would gladly sacrifice any number of my fellow Americans to advance my agenda - but this is a dumb war and a rash war," Keith Olbermann of MSNBC told The People's Cube outside a congressional office he visited to demand a government crackdown on dissidents.

"Why must we in the field put our reputations on the line when this Congress has the power to simply confiscate Rupert Murdoch's assets and put Beck, Hannity, and Coulter in jail?" he demanded.

Chris Matthews: This president has a moral obligation to order an increase in MSNBC ratings and to shut down Fox News by a government edict.

Olbermann was seconded by his colleague Chris Mathews, who said he had also enlisted to defend the progressive agenda against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

For his part, Mathews carried a hand-written letter on behalf of his fellow journalists, accusing the Obama administration of "losing" the media war which the mainstream media had "won" for him in the run-up to last year's election when they toppled the regime of George W. Bush and the Republican majority in Congress.

[tcrlaf]

Speaking of “biting satire”, this was just posted on the Cube:

“Reporters out now!
We support the camera crews, but not their mission!
No blood for sound bites!
The real war is against al-Jazeera!”

[dalebert]

Are FOX New’s ratings in the tank yet?

[xzins]

First I heard....did Kouric interview Beck? What happened?

[tcrlaf]

“Not a quagmire,but a tarbaby.”

Obama broke it, now he owns it....

Didn’t he ever hear of “The Powell Doctrine”?

[9YearLurker]

Brilliant—love the title!

[FastCoyote]

This ones a classic. I am envious of the writer, nailed this one.

[manc]

thank you

[AlphaOneAlpha]

It’s interesting that our one-eyed king only has the stones to go after segments in the U.S. that he feels oppose him and has no balls to go after those entities off-shore who really pose a threat.

Actions of a two-bit, small time political hack from the cesspool known as Chicago. I wonder how many people will admit that they voted for this horse’s ass come 2011.

[ThePeoplesCube]

Thanks guys,

As two poor immigrants all we have to offer America in its war against socialism, is biting satire.

BTW I thought of the concept while up a ladder applying Siloxane PD to a brick facade. then sent it off to comrade Oleg to flesh out.

Bryan & Oleg

Keep the Cube Rolling

[nomad]

Great site!I want those playing cards.

[YHAOS]

Hey! 0bama. Withdraw to Kenya.

[GOPJ]

We seem to be joking. They are not joking. This is serious as a goddam heart attack.

One of the ways we fight them is to mock them... ( that said, you are right - they are deadly serious ...)

[AliVeritas]

ping

[my_pointy_head_is_sharp]

I still think there’s some basis on which they can be sued. I hope FOX’s lawyers are working on it.

[Landru]

Fairly good parody, as parodies go.
Had me going 'til I read this: "The most notably absent is the New York Times, which has so far refused to enter the war."

Now everyone knows there ain't no one LEFT at the NYSlimes to send & pinch boy sure wasn't going to go it alone! *Poof* positive. LOL

[sono]

If you’ve lost Helen Thomas and The Nation, it’s game, set, match.