[BobMcCartyWrites]

BREAKING NEWS ITEM #1: President Barack Obama has been named the 2009 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples,” despite the fact that the deadline for submitting nominations for the once-prestigious award was only 12 days into the 44th president’s term.

BREAKING NEWS ITEM #2: President Obama has been named the winner of both the American and National League Cy Young Awards for 2009, despite the fact that many said “he throw like a girl and wears mom jeans” when he threw out the first pitch of the 2009 Major League Baseball All-Star Game held in St. Louis [Source: Mark Reardon, KMOX 1120 AM radio talk show host].

What a morning!

[maine-iac7]

the PP part is pure insanity - please tell me the Cy Young award is satire. It’s too early in the morning to take in this madness -

I feel like the Robert Frost: "Stop the world, I want to get off..."

[BertWheeler]

Look for Barack Obama to win this year’s Heisman Trophy in college football...

Barack Obama to recieve Super Bowl ring from owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Pope resigns, confers Papacy to Barack Obama.

Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem proclaims Barack Obama as HaMashiach.

What other headlines should we all look for?

The Nobel Prize committe has “jumped the shark”.

[maine-iac7]

Arafat, Carter, Gore and now bambambi - the final coffin nail in the credibility of the Nobel

[maine-iac7]

If there existed one tiny shred of decency, the anointed one would announce that he could not, in all conscious, accept the prize as he really hasn't had time to accomplish even one of lofty goals - but once he totally subjugates the people of the United States, he'll be glad to accept it.

[Madame Dufarge]

The latest prize! Does the wonderfulness ever stop?

[kromike]

This just in...

Barry has just been awarded:
* Eagle Scout
* Gold star on the refrigerator for brushing his teeth
* WWE Heavyweight Champion for all time
* Several gold medals (no silver or bronze for him!)
* Mr. Universe and Miss Universe bodybuilding titles

and

* Winner of Gordon Ramsay's "Hell's Kitchen"

[maine-iac7]

After all, he's just stuffed with peace - not to mention humility - and meShell should obviously get the next peace prize

[almcbean]

Kanye West just jumped onstage and announced that Beyonce should have won the Nobel Peace Prize (Of course Kanye thinks it’s Piece)

[Non-Sequitur]

It is analogous to awarding the Cy Young to a 2 and 16 rookie on the expectations that he’ll blossom into a 20 game winner.

[A CA Guy]

The 5 people on that committee are trying to help him turn the country to socialism and socialized medicine.

8 months and all he’s done is tank the dollar, the economy, taken over some American companies, fired some CEOs and the commies in the committee love it.

[mlizzy]

Jesus is saying "woe to him" a lot lately. He also said something like, "Just don't let that man near a football." All we aborted children chuckled, but Jesus wasn't laughing.


Aborted Angel Baby

[ThomasThomas]

I think some people are easily impressed with his use of teleprompters.

[Mac from Cleveland]

“Oh, my fame has now gone global-
I’ve finally won the Nobel
for all the things I do.
and, now, in an all-time first:
Michelle’s been crowned Miss Universe!
If you only had a clue”.

[mojitojoe]