Posted on 09/02/2009 5:45:31 AM PDT by GoldStandard
The people who get the angriest have never tried it.
Yes, and the FACTS are that you make this personal from the first second. Actually all of your posts to everybody on this thread have been addicted to personal attacks. You really want to be angry at anybody that might think some people, not necessarily you, nothing personal about this position, don’t do enough to quiet their kids in public.
the minute he said that he was going to do something about it my wife would’ve yelled to me (being in the hunting department looking for ammo probably) and that guy would’ve been lunch meat! If anyone ever says that to me about my child, you’ll probably read about it in the papers...
nuff said.
My post 102 that you originally addressed was about tired or hungry 2 year olds. You won’t quiet them. It’s not possible. Very young children can only tell you what they need NOW. You can’t reason with an overly tired toddler or one that’s hungry. You can’t reason with young children at all. They have no concept that Mom has to get diapers. Or laundry soap. They are babies. Life is what it is. And there are those, like the man in the story, that make it that much harder.
And my post in response was about the fact that not all parents do anything about their tired or hungry kids. You can quiet a hungry kid, you give them food, which any halfway decent parent has some of in the diaper bag. Tired kids are harder, largely depends on what you’re transporting them in and if they’ll sleep in it. And then of course there’s always the possibility of removing the kid from the situation, like netmilsmom said in post 16. There’s nothing about parenthood that says everybody should have to listen to your kid cry. There’s always something you can do. And there are parents, again not saying you not making this personal, that literally do NOTHING they just let the kid cry no attempt to fix the problem or comfort the kid, you’re not even sure they know the kid is crying. And those are the parent that really make people mad, and make people less patient with the good parents that try.
It takes some kind of special coward to slap a baby while only the mother is present. Bet he wouldn’t have done a thing if the father had been standing there.
You have to understand that children are not perfect and neither are parents. There are situations that just happen and cannot be controlled. You just get through it the best you can. Children cry. It's just life.
Understand that I am NOT talking about temper tantrums. That is a different subject. I have been addressing the problems of shopping with a 2 year old. You want a nightmare, shop with a 5 year old, a 2 and 3 year old because you forgot bread.
That’s where the parent has to think ahead. If you’re next to stops are the store and food and it’s almost meal time food first then store. Of course there’s also the magical device of the pacifier, makes kids think they’re getting food but they’re not. And maybe they’ll sleep or maybe they won’t, you can at least get them situated in a way that they’re likely to sleep.
If you have a full cart then no you probably shouldn’t remove the kid, but get to the checkout and finish up. The problem parents don’t have a full cart, they walk in with a crying kid and then go aisle by aisle making no attempt to fix the problem.
You have to understand that there ARE bad parent out there that do nothing about their crying kids. They really do exist. And they really do make people less tolerant of all kids, including the ones with good parents that try keep the kid quiet.
Are there bad parents? Of course. Are all parents bad? Of course not.
Life is just not that simple. Parenting even less so.
you said:
"You can quiet a hungry kid, you give them food, which any halfway decent parent has some of in the diaper bag."
My wife doesn't like to have food in the diaper bag because she worries that people in the store (not just shoppers, but employees also) will assume that it's been stolen from the store. I tend to disagree with the sentiment, but I see the point. This is an argument I've chosen to shy away from after letting my opinion be heard once on said fear. This is just another dynamic that I have to deal with. When in a wal mart, I can grab something off the shelf, open it and give some to my child, then pay for it at the register. I have done this several times to soothe my child in lieu of her driving everyone else around me and myself nuts from the crying, whining, etc... the problem is then that the child believes you will do that anytime they start to whine. They think you will always cave! Sometimes a lesson needs to be learned, and sometimes life is inconvenient. sometimes people forget things, sometimes people have no other options. I try to remember that myself but sometimes fail in that regard as well.
At any rate, I certainly didn't mean to make this personal, I just thought I'd share this perspective with you. No response needed or expected - do what you will there.
If he slapped my kid I would have wracked his balls into his throat and gouged his eyes out. Not kidding.
Me. I want to slap the parent sometimes, but not a 2 yr. old...
And this man walked away with his eyes still in his head?
Momma obviously had more self control than my mother did. She would have clawed his face off is he had dared touch one of us.
Of course mom was a little bit overprotective of us when we were young.
Saw the guy on TV. He was mean looking and pretty big. Not surprised the mother couldn’t keep him away.
Grown men shouldn’t hit two year old girls. Let him mix it up with a Grizzly Bear and see how it is to be on the receiving end.
I don’t have a child... but intuitively... I don’t think slapping a child will stop them from crying... right?
Did I say all parent are bad? No. In fact I specifically called out the existence of good parents, and I didn’t even make succeeding in quieting the kid a prerequisite, only the effort.
The good parent/ bad parent public behavior thing really is quite simple. The good ones try, the bad ones don’t even seem to know anything is happening.
In your OPINION. Like I said :when you've had only a few hours of sleep for 3 nights in a row, the ONLY thing that registers when they cry is "Are they bleeding"? If they aren't, you keep walking.
I can understand that, but in this day and age of formula that doesn’t need to be refrigerated after mixing and ziplock bags for solids it’s pretty easy to have food in the diaper bag that’s pretty obviously not stolen. And I remember my mom doing the same thing you’ve done. When it came time to teach me a lesson mom would just take me home, all plans canceled, time to go. Of course that’s a beyond 2 year old thing, they need a bit more language skill before you can run that chain of association of how we’re not going to do this thing they wanted because they were a pain at some other stop.
No not in my opinion. That is a simple fact, bad parents will continue to wander around the store oblivious to their crying children giving no care to what might be making the kid cry or how that behavior is being rude to other shoppers. And no amount of shouting on your part is going to change that simple fact. If you’re so tired from lack of sleep that the only thing that registers is “are they bleeding” then you’re in no condition to be operating a car and shouldn’t be at the store in the first place with or without child.
And we are again down to what you “think” as opposed to someone who has been there. Experience DOES matter.
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