[I Buried My Guns]

There was a day when the esteemed professor Gates would have been the recipient of a baton shampoo (with the approval of society at large), and that would have been the end of it.

I still think he would benefit from ol' hickory.

[Alberta's Child]

There was also a day in this country when a passerby observing a possible burglary at a home in the neighborhood would have drawn his/her own weapon and dealt with the matter themselves.

I've long said that a 911 system is the worst thing that ever happened to this country.

[Peter Horry]

“baton shampoo”

I always thought it was a “hickory massage” followed by a nice piece of cement pie. It did seem to discourage acts of excessive hostility.