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Czars, Czars, Czars
Townhall.com ^ | July 20, 2009 | Burt Bialosky

Posted on 07/20/2009 4:16:08 AM PDT by Kaslin

Our new President has adopted the idea of having Czars to deal with special issues of importance. He has named about three dozen Czars dealing to address significant matters like global warming and executive compensation. Their appointments have become very controversial, as there have been complaints about them circumventing the congressional approval and oversight processes.

I say damn these naysayers. I have come to embrace this idea despite the fact of being Jewish and having an aversion to Czars, due to a history of pogroms against my ancestors. And I just feel that we need a few more to round out Obama’s efforts.

Yard Sale Czar – Since the government has put out a handbook to guide us about how to be in compliance with product safety laws when having a yard sale, it would be most important to appoint a Czar to assure proper enforcement of these rules. Along with that, the Czar should consider standards for signs advertising the sales. I see some pretty dreadful ones. Also, used underwear and socks should be restricted from sales as this is a definite product safety issue.

Apology Czar – To many of us watching news reports of his most recent trips abroad, President Obama seemed to be on an “apology tour” for perceived misbehaviors of America in the past. I think he has just begun to scratch the surface on this and needs to appoint a Czar to root out all past inappropriate behavior of the American government and people. I can think of many he has not yet touched on. For example, he needs to apologize to Spain for the Spanish-American War, to Mexico for accepting Texas into the Union, to France for underpaying for the Louisiana Purchase and to the rest of the world for our basketball team’s performance at the 2004 Olympics. I am sure there is enough work here to carry through at least four years of his presidency. Just the 70’s with Afros, bell-bottom pants and tie-dyed clothing could cover a couple of years’ work.

Twinkie Czar – Dan White blamed this iconic food as the reason why he murdered Harvey Milk and George Moscone. Since that time, Twinkies have never recovered and our country has never been the same. This Czar could help to reestablish the importance of this unjustifiably maligned source of unique nutritional value. As part of the Czar’s role Hostess Cupcakes, Ding-Dongs and Snowballs can be brought back to their former glory as well. Given enough time, ice cream specialties such as Push-Ups could also be saved.

BCS Czar – You may have noticed that despite rising unemployment, two wars and a battle over health care, our Congress has taken up the mantle of the BCS rating system for college football and establishment of a national playoff system. While President Obama has spoken out on this issue, he still needs to appoint a Czar to bring this sad chapter in the history of the Republic to a compassionate ending. Nothing stresses the average American more than not knowing whether their alma mater will have a fair shot at bringing home the national championship trophy.

Saved Jobs Czar – Since President Obama has introduced this new concept of saved jobs, most Americans have been left in the cosmic dust. As the country loses jobs at a clip of about 450,000 per month, it is clear he has not done a good job of communicating about these “saved” jobs. A new Czar to specialize in this area would work wonders in helping Americans understand this new concept. Photo ops with plumbers, office workers and engineers who have had their jobs saved by the Anointed One would help our collective psyche. I suggest he not appoint that drab economist who he keeps rolling out for congressional hearings. He would only remind us all of the jobs lost.

And, finally:

Latke Czar – This may not affect the average American, but to Jewish Americans this is of utmost importance. Since the President has done everything possible to antagonize Jews over Israel, I thought he might go for this one. For those of you who do not know, latkes are a potato pancake-like delicacy that is an intricate part of the Hanukkah celebration. Unfortunately, there are some pretty bad latkes out there. Since we wait all year to savor these delectable items, being faced with bad latkes during Hanukkah can ruin the entire holiday season and carry over into the New Year. While attending our first White House Hanukkah Party, my wife thought at first glance their latkes to be puffy crab cakes which demonstrates that even the accomplished White House chefs can mutilate this food. If President Obama appoints a Czar now, he can save many Jews a lot of anguish during the upcoming holiday season and possibly lock up the Jewish vote for generations.

I am confident that each of you can pinpoint other Czars that could help solve the festering problems of our nation. We need to advise our President on these so he can incorporate them into his administration. And the bonus here is that if he appoints enough Czars he can solve at least one important problem – unemployment.


TOPICS: Editorial
KEYWORDS: bho; bo; czar; czars; notpresident; obama; obamaczars

1 posted on 07/20/2009 4:16:08 AM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Obama has adopted the idea of having bull$heiter Czars.


2 posted on 07/20/2009 4:28:32 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: Kaslin

Realtor “For Sale” signs czar. The audacity of Realtors to try and sell a home by directing us to it with “lead-in” signs just so they can feed their families and make money is evil and despicable. ~sarc


3 posted on 07/20/2009 4:28:53 AM PDT by albie
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To: Kaslin

How about a head negotiator for bringing piece to France. After years of constant rioting, anti-Semitic violence, and other backlashes to French racism, it’s time to just give the Frankenstinian People a homeland of their own. Let them have a major wine region to call their own,or at least freeze settlements in Paris until they can make it their national capitol.


4 posted on 07/20/2009 4:44:17 AM PDT by Eleutheria5 (www.publishedauthors.net/benmaxwell/index.html. Donate to members.tripod.com/tva_israel/HOME.HTM)
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To: Vaduz
Does anyone have a bunch of old Russian jokes to get recycled for the modern day czars? Obamacare jokes Obama jokes
5 posted on 07/20/2009 4:54:56 AM PDT by tbw2 (Freeper sci-fi - "Humanity's Edge" - on amazon.com)
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To: Kaslin
Instead of making jokes about this I wish our elected reps would demand that Oboy get rid of these unofficial and unconstitutional "officials" that presume some sort of executive powers.

Its an outrage.

6 posted on 07/20/2009 4:58:53 AM PDT by Pietro
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To: Kaslin

While Burt is being a little tongue-in-cheek, I raised the issue of all these “czars” some weeks ago.

zero is a little too infatuated with the “czar” concept - I wonder where THAT comes from???

/sarc


7 posted on 07/20/2009 5:12:14 AM PDT by DustyMoment (FloriDUH - proud inventors of pregnant/hanging chads and judicide!!)
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To: tbw2

The Homeland Security Czar, after a serious terrorist strike, decreed a 9:00 pm curfew in all major cities. Two of his “cossacks” are out enforcing the curfew at 8:50. Cossack A sees a man walking along in a great hurry and arrests him for violating the curfew. The man reaches inside his jacket and the cossack shoots him. Cossack B asks Cossack A, “Why did you arrest him? It’s still 10 minutes to go before curfew?” Cossack A answers, “I know him. He lives 15 minutes away.”


8 posted on 07/20/2009 5:19:30 AM PDT by Eleutheria5 (www.publishedauthors.net/benmaxwell/index.html. Donate to members.tripod.com/tva_israel/HOME.HTM)
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To: Kaslin
You really don;t need to make up names for all these Czars - we have plenty we can laugh at NOW. For each of the following, it would be a chip-shot to make up a funny statement about what each does (or screws up). I'll start, but first, how many f'ing Czars do we really have TODAY?

1. Technology Czar: Aneesh Chopra. iPods for everyone!
2. Drug Czar: Gil Kerlikowske. More please.
3. Copyright Czar: Not appointed yet. Coming after websites?
4. Energy Czar: Carol M. Browner. No drill, no nuke, oh puke.
5. Car Czar: Ed Montgomery. Barry's version of The Peoples' Car soon...putt-putt.
6. Terrorism/WMD Czar: Gary Samore. Can we say "terror" any more?
7. Health Care Czar: Nancy-Ann DeParle. Death-Star Czar
8. Education Czar: Not appointed yet. GOOD!
9. Economic Czar: Paul Volcker.
10. Mortgage Czar: Not appointed yet. FOB- Friend of Barney?
11. Urban Affairs/Housing Czar: Adolfo Carrion. "Blazing Saddles" comes to mind....
12. Guantanomo closure Czar: Danny Fried. Maybe keep it open.
13. Great lakes Czar: Cameron Davis. Yup, they're wet alright.
14. Stimulus accountability Czar: Earl Devaney.
15. Cyberspace Czar: Not appointed yet.
16. Border Czar: Alan Bersin (Former US attorney). Open Border Czar
17. Intelligence Czar: Admiral Dennis Blair.
18. Regulatory Czar: Cass Sunstein.
19. Pay Czar: Kenneth Feinberg.
20. Iran Czar: Not appointed yet.
21. Tarp Czar: Herb Allison.
22. Middle-East peace Czar: George Mitchell.
23. Science Czar: John Holdren.
24. Green jobs Czar: Van Jones.
25. Afghanistan Czar: Richard Holbrooke.
26. Sudan Czar: J. Scott Gration.
27. Mideast policy Czar: Dennis Ross.
28. Information Czar: Vivek Kundra.
29. AIDS Czar: Jeffrey Crowley.
30. Faith-based Czar: Joshua Dubois.
31. Climate Czar: Todd Stern.
32. Distressed auto communities Czar: Ed Montgomery

Each one seems to be a shadow-government position to either side-step or undermine the Congress-exposed Cabinet positions. Look at all the positions that undermine Hillary! All these people meet in private, meet with Barry "off the schedule" and have unlimited power conferred to them by someone who probably shouldn't even be there.

9 posted on 07/20/2009 5:44:05 AM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.....)
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To: SERKIT

Exactly what powers do these “czars” have?
I think all they really do is sidestep the “advise and consent” process in the Senate and form a “kitchen cabinent” for Pres. Obama.


10 posted on 07/20/2009 6:08:39 AM PDT by Little Ray (Do we have a Plan B?)
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To: SERKIT

We’re going to need a czar appointing czar before much longer.


11 posted on 07/20/2009 6:18:08 AM PDT by MiltonFriedmanFan
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To: Kaslin

I thought Communists hated Czars.


12 posted on 07/20/2009 6:20:54 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Kaslin

Twinkle, twinkle, little Czars.


13 posted on 07/20/2009 6:33:54 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("If they taxed condoms and toilet paper, they'd have us coming and going." - Lazamataz, 2002)
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To: Little Ray
There is the CABINET that has appointees placed there with the advice and consent of the Senate.

Then there is Barry's 'Kitchen Cabinet' that may include Michelle-Omarosa, Billy-the-Bomber, and others.

And then there is the Romanov Cabinet made up of 33+ Czars (and counting) that have no accountability or oversight by the Congress, no rules for "open meetings", no reporting mandates (except what Barry asks of them personally), no vetting or questioning by the State-Run Media, invisibility (probably) from being listed in the White Crib visitors log, and each has an off-budget budget.

The Romanov Cabinet is, in essence, a shadow government with redundancies of the REAL cabinet, and in some cases, entire Departments.

If you look at the list, how many "czars" are doing Hillary's business, without ANY oversight by the State Department or Congressional committees?

Marxism and Central Control in its finest form.

14 posted on 07/20/2009 6:37:10 AM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.....)
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To: SERKIT

They still have to get their money from the House. Treaties still have to be approved by the Senate. They’re not in anybodies’ chain of command so they can’t give orders.
As far as I can tell, they can’t actually DO anything but talk to the President.


15 posted on 07/20/2009 7:19:32 AM PDT by Little Ray (Do we have a Plan B?)
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To: Kaslin

“He has named about three dozen Czars “

Last count I saw was 40.


16 posted on 07/20/2009 9:18:36 AM PDT by UCANSEE2
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To: Lazamataz

Don’t turn around, oh oh
Der Kommissar’s in town, oh oh
You’re in his eye
And you’ll know why
The more you live
The faster you will die

Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?

Hear the children
Don’t turn around, oh oh
Der Kommissar’s in town, oh oh
He’s got the power
And you’re so weak
And your frustration will not let you speak

-Falco


17 posted on 07/20/2009 10:43:43 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (ACORN:American Corruption for Obama Right Now)
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To: Kaslin

1. Afghanistan-Pakistan (Af-Pak) czar, Richard Holbrooke
2. AIDS czar, Jeffrey Crowley [openly gay white man]
3. Auto recovery czar, Ed Montgomery
4. Behavioral science czar, position not yet filled
5. Bailout czar, Herbert Allison Jr., [replaced Bush bailout czar Neel Kashkari, Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Financial Stability confirmed by Senate]
6. Border czar, Alan Bersin
7. Car czar, Ron Bloom [Counselor to the Secretary of the Treasury , under Senate oversight]
8. Climate change czar, Todd Stern
9. Copyright czar, not appointed yet
10. Counterterrorism czar, John Brennan
11. Cybersecurity czar, position will be vacant on August 21st [upon the departure of Melissa Hathaway]
12. Disinformation czar, Linda Douglass [This is a new media buzz since our earlier list, a response by pundits to the White House request for informants: see Glenn Beck and Lew Rockwell]
13. Domestic violence czar, Lynn Rosenthal
14. Drug czar, Gil Kerlikowske
15. Economic czar, Larry Summers
16. Economic czar number two, Paul Volcker
17. Education czar, Arne Duncan
18. Energy czar, Carol Browner
19. Food czar, Michael Taylor [a former Monsanto executive, or, the fox in charge of the henhouse]
20. Government performance czar, Jeffrey Zients
21. Great Lakes czar, Cameron Davis
22. Green jobs czar, Van Jones [who has a communist background]
23. Guantanamo closure czar, Daniel Fried
24. Health czar, Nancy-Ann DeParle
25. Infotech czar, Vivek Kundra [Shoplifted four shirts, worth $33.50 each, from J.C. Penney in 1996 (source). His last day in DC government was March 4 but on March 12 the FBI raided his office and arrested two staffers.]
26. Intelligence czar, Dennis Blair [Director of National Intelligence, a Senate confirmed position. He is a retired United States Navy four-star admiral]
27. Latin-American czar, Arturo Valenzuela (nominee) [although this post is referred to as a czar, he is nominatied to be Assistant Secretary of State for Western Hemisphere Affairs and so is subject to Senate confirmation. Voting on his confirmation was delayed to clarify his position on Honduras. Watch WaPo’s Head Count to track status of confirmation.]
28. Mideast peace czar, George Mitchell
29. Mideast policy czar, Dennis Ross
30. Pay czar, Kenneth Feinberg
31. Regulatory czar, Cass Sunstein
32. Religion czar, aka God czar Joshua DuBois
33. Safe schools czar, Kevin Jennings [appointed to be Assistant Deputy Secretary of the Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools, a newly created post (that does not require Senate confirmation); openly gay founder of an organization dedicated to promoting pro-homosexual clubs and curricula in public schools]
34. Science czar, John Holdren
35. Stimulus oversight czar, Earl Devaney
36. Sudan czar, J. Scott Gration
37. TARP czar, Elizabeth Warren [chair of the [Congressional Oversight Panel for the Trouble Assets Relief Program; note that Herb Allison is frequently called the TARP czar]
38. Technology czar, Aneesh Chopra
39. Trade czar, Ron Kirk
40. Urban affairs czar, Adolfo Carrion
41. War czar, Douglas Lute [retained from Bush administration, married to Jane Holl Lute, currently a Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security]
42. Water czar, David J. Hayes [a Deputy Interior Secretary and therefore subject to Senate oversight]
43. Weapons czar, Ashton Carter [actually Under Secretary of Defense for Acquisition, Technology, and Logistics and so subject to Senate confirmation]
44. Weapons of mass destruction czar, Gary Samore

Positions being planned:

1. Income redistribution czar
2. Land-use czar
3. Mortgage czar, formally “consumer financial protection czar” (source)
4. Radio-internet fairness czar
5. Student loan czar, to oversee a program of mandatory service in return for college money (source)
6. Voter list czar
7. Zoning czar

Obama has moved swiftly to concentrate power in the White House, bypassing the review of our elected representatives in Congress in most of the posts listed above. Even though cabinet positions are part of the executive branch, the cabinet secretaries must be approved by Congress, they are funded by Congress, and they can be called before Congress to testify. Most of these czars, on the other hand, are appointed by Obama at his sole discretion, and are answerable only to him. If subpoenaed by Congress, they can claim executive privilege.

http://frontpage.americandaughter.com/?p=2385


18 posted on 08/15/2009 1:05:11 AM PDT by mojitojoe (All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for the people to remain silent.)
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