Posted on 07/19/2009 5:40:44 PM PDT by LA Woman3
The cute chimp attacks its owner’s best friend and eats her face and hands off. The primate’s owner calls 9-1-1 and cries for help that, as always, comes much too late.
A 9-year-old girl takes a 160-pound bull mastiff for a walk and loses control. The giant dog clamps down on her head, and all people can do is scream and yell.
Another little girl steps off the school bus in rural Michigan and is instantly attacked by a pack of dogs, all wearing collars. Again, all anybody can do is scream as the girl’s face is ripped to shreds.
An elderly lady leisurely strolls along the causeway when out from the canal lunges an alligator, its rows of teeth clamping down on her torso. The 12-foot prehistoric monster drags the her into the shallow water and devours her.
An insane lady lifts herself over the barrier so she can pet the 1,000-pound polar bear. Not surpisingly, she ends up in the jaws of the carnivore. All the zoogoers can do is watch.
A gal enters her apartment building in San Francisco after her daily jog and is met by a pair of snarling Dobermans that attack and kill her.
A Michigan farmer enters the breeding pen of his whitetail deer and is gored and nearly killed by the dominant buck. His cries for help are heard by no one.
An animal control officer responds to an emergency call about a pit bull attacking neighbors, but she arrives with only a flimsy net and the powerful dog nearly kills her.
The bicyclist pedals through a curve on the bike path near San Diego when a hungry mountain lion catapults onto him, biting his neck, and dragging him off into the brush. Other cyclists scream and holler, but the cougar kills its victim.
A young boy zips up his sleeping bag in the Canadian park for a night of camping but is attacked by a large black bear.
The boy’s family yells and throws pots and pans at the bear, which carries the helpless boy off into the wilderness and eats him.
The stoned hippie spends years in the Alaskan wilderness, and in a drug-induced stupor, he pretends to befriend grizzly bears and give them names. He and his girlfriend are killed and eaten by his new friends.
A family is picnicking in Northern California when a mountain lion grabs the mother by the throat and drags her off into the forest. All anybody can do is scream and yell and cry.
I could go on, but how many examples do you need to understand that carrying a gun can be a good idea?
Ted Nugent is a Waco-based musician and television-show host. Contact him directly at tednugent.com.
Packing a gun for self-defense or the defense of those around you, even nutjobs who jump into zoo enclosures to pet the pretty polar bear, is a whole 'nother ballgame.
It was a typo.
They meant Wacko-based.
Gotta love Nooj.
Have you got any more good news. Clearly there’s way too little thinning going on. I expect that Obamacare may fix that.
Couldn't help it. Had to snicker over this one. A stoned hippie carrying a gun would probably still have come out in the bears' favor.
My personal fave.
The longer you stay in Michiganistan the less money you’ll have. Bail!
How on earth did the ATF and FBI kill all those people in Waco and overlook Ted?? I mean he’s a major threat to their power.
Isn’t he next to Pres. Bush’s ranch in Crawford?
The photo looks like one of Oleg's though.
I'd love to get one of those shirts for my wife... ;-)
T-shirt from the photo...
"I'll be sure to let my staff know," Faj-win-Getag said. "You say you get your stock from Michigan?"
"Sure do," James said. "There's a large preserve in central Michigan run by the Nugentians. They harvest deer and other animals through ritual bowhunting. Legend has it the cult's founder bowhunted one of every species of North American mammal before he died. They have his body on display at the preserve. He's in a loincloth. It's a religious thing. Not the sort of people you want to spend a great deal of time with on a personal basis, but their meat is the best in the country. It costs a little more, but it's worth it. And they have the right attitude about meat -- it's the cornerstone of any truly healthy diet."
The Android's Dream - by John Scalazi
A LOT of folks are FROM Michigan, now calling Texas home.
Welcome! (so long as you don’t support democrats.)
Yep. God works His wonders in mysterious ways ... including Darwinism-in-action.
Ted Nugent Rocks!
I know it’s not original but it needs repeating.
He’d make a great Secretary of the Interior. (or defense, or state, or DHS, or... you get my drift)
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