Posted on 07/05/2009 11:06:04 PM PDT by smoothsailing
July 06, 2009
Let's cap and trade oxygen!
By James Lewis
Enough already with carbon cap and trade. I say let's cap oxygen, and then tax any family that can't achieve the Average Family Oxygen Target of 80% BOOTS (Before Obama Oxygen Trading Scheme). Remember, if you weren't inhaling all that O2 you wouldn't be belching out clouds of noxious CO2. Yuck. Yes, I know oil refineries smell bad and coal looks dirty. But none of that carbon would ever see the light of day if it weren't for all the oxygen you suck in, you greed bucket. So let's get down to root causes.
Here's the goal. If we can only get five billion people around the world to breathe 20% less oxygen per person, we would Save the Planet from Global Warming. Just like that!
Twenty percent less O2 going into your body means 20% less CO2 out-gassing, atom-for-atom. It's just like cutting down the world population by a billion polluting oxygen hogs.
Capping oxygen is actually the hardest part. Once you learn to cut down your intake, we just set up a market to trade official credits for the unbreathed O2 that you could have inhaled but didn't. Let's assume for the sake of planetary computer modeling that you can personally cut down your breathing by 20%. Try it! Just hold your nose and breathe through a straw. And when you get that strangled feeling, just remember you're Saving the Planet. Lay back and think of Paul Krugman.
Did you ever want to lose weight? This is the ecologically responsible way to do it. It's the Oxygen Sparing Diet. If you breathe just one-fifth less oxygen you'll be eating one-fifth less food, because your body uses all that oxygen to metabolize your French fries and fat-burgers. The benefits are out of this world.
Now here's the free market angle. Congress can pass a law stating that if you achieve more than the mandated National O2 Reduction of 20% you will receive an official US Government Oxygen Trading Credit for all the oxygen you did not breathe beyond 20%. It's like price supports for farmers, except that everybody can play. For instance, if you cut your O2 down by 25% you receive a 5% Oxygen Trading Credit, to sell to your huffing and puffing neighbors on a free market basis. If you breathe 30% less, you get a 10% OTC. It's supply and demand!
Or consider this option: For the average family of five --- two adults, two kids and a dog --- just get rid of a family member. You can start by getting rid of your dog. Do you have any idea how much oxygen a running dog breathes? Do your Planet a favor, please. And once you get the hang of it...
Even cars breathe oxygen to burn gasoline. Cut your driving by 20% --- after all, you won't need to drive now that you're breathing less --- and not only will you cut carbon pollution, but you can slice even more off your greedy Oxygen Excess. And don't forget that you can sell all your Oxygen Trading Credits to your O2-hogging neighbors.
Once you get used to cutting down your O2 you'll like yourself a lot better. The Planet will thank you. So will your neighbors.
Try it if you don't believe it. Breathe in just a little bit less every single day, until you're down 10%, then 15%, 20% ... and more? You could actually build your income from the Oxygen Trading Credits if you manage to cut down by 30% or even 40%. Just breathe through that straw and hold your nose.
Remember, Oxygen is Poison!
Page Printed from: http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/07/lets_cap_and_trade_oxygen.html at July 06, 2009 - 02:03:31 AM EDT
Shhhh. Gore will hear you.
Lets get down to elite liberal basics. They want 90% of the world’s population to die to preserve the snail darter.
Oxygen is just all around bad news.
And if it wasn't for oxygen, there's be no dihydrogen oxide which is probably one of the most destructive and deadly chemical compounds on the face of the earth.
test
again
last one
It mandates that all human feces be sent sent to congress for recycling by mail to :
US Congress
East Capitol Street, NE and 1st Street, NE
Washington, DC 20002
there is no time to read the bill, send your feces immediatly to the above address
That’s what I thought we were doing.
Sounds good to me ,Lets tax all those idiots Jogging around, A jogging Tax !! Des this mean I dont have to push My Lawnmower around anymore ? I do a Lot of that Huffing and Puffing doing that. Just think of all the revenue from the Boston and New York Marathons !
If they set up sprawling death camps and cull the ‘undesirables’ — those who are to the political right — they would achieve the same goal.
ACTUALLY, NO WORSE AN IDEA THAN THE co2 ONE.
Lets cap some congresscreeps instead.
I like that plan.
Not to worry, the health care "fix" will eliminate many people who are currently using oxygen. This will bring the levels down quickly.
Thanks for posting this article.
Thanks for the chuckle!
LOL
A more likely GHG to target next is water vapor as its implications in ozone destruction are already known and the usual suspects are already onboard:
[Processes controlling water vapor in the winter Arctic tropopause region
Auteur(s) / Author(s)
PFISTER Leonhard (1) ; SELKIRK Henry B. (2) ; JENSEN Eric J. (1) ; PODOLSKE James (1) ; SACHSE Glen (3) ; AVERY Melody (3) ; SCHOEBERL Mark R. (4) ; MAHONEY Michael J. (5) ; RICHARD Erik (6) ;
Affiliation(s) du ou des auteurs / Author(s) Affiliation(s)
(1) NASA/Ames Research Center, Moffett Field, California, ETATS-UNIS
(2) Space Physics Research Institute Center, Sunnyvale, California, ETATS-UNIS
(3) NASA/Langley Research Center, Hampton, Virginia, ETATS-UNIS
(4) NASA/Goddard Space Flight Center, Greenbelt, Maryland, ETATS-UNIS
(5) Jet Propulsion Laboratory, California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, California, ETATS-UNIS
(6) NOAA Aeronomy Laboratory, Boulder, Colorado, ETATS-UNIS
Résumé / Abstract
This work describes transport and thermodynamic processes that control water vapor near the tropopause during the SAGE III-Ozone Loss and Validation Experiment (SOLVE), held during the Arctic 1999/2000 winter season. Aircraft-based water vapor, carbon monoxide, and ozone measurements are analyzed so as to establish how deeply tropospheric air mixes into the Arctic lowermost stratosphere and what the implications are for cloud formation and water vapor removal in this region of the atmosphere. There are three major findings. First, troposphere-to-stratosphere exchange extends into the Arctic stratosphere to about 13 km. Penetration is to similar levels throughout the winter; however, because ozone increases with altitude most rapidly in the early spring, tropospheric air mixes with the highest values of ozone in that season. The effect of this upward mixing is to elevate water vapor mixing ratios significantly above their prevailing stratospheric values of about 5 ppmv. Second, the potential for cloud formation in the stratosphere is highest during early spring, with about 20% of the parcels which have ozone values of 300-350 ppbv experiencing ice saturation in a given 10 day period. Third, during early spring, temperatures at the tropopause are cold enough so that 5-10% of parcels experience relative humidities above 100%, even if the water content is as low as 5 ppmv. The implication is that during this period, dynamical processes near the Arctic tropopause can dehydrate air and keep the Arctic tropopause region very dry during early spring.
Revue / Journal Title
Journal of geophysical research ISSN 0148-0227
Source / Source
2003, vol. 108, noD5, [Note(s): SOL 57.1-SOL 57.15] (32 ref.)
Langue / Language
Anglais
Editeur / Publisher
American Geophysical Union, Washington, DC, ETATS-UNIS (1949) (Revue)]
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