Posted on 06/30/2009 11:51:29 AM PDT by pissant
A “Shower Nazi” may be coming your way courtesy of Waxman-Markey.
Section 217 of the bill provides for a “water efficient product incentive program” that would provide rebates, vouchers, direct installs and other forms of financial assistance for the installation of water-saving products.
During my radio interview last Friday with Bob Jamison (Kern Valley News, KNCQ 102.5 FM / Bakersfield, CA), Jamison, a motel owner, told me that he had been solicited by the seller of the ”Shower Manager,” a water-saving device. Curious, I went to the Shower manager web site.
Here’s how the Shower Manager works:
The Shower Manager not only puts time limits on the shower, it also cuts the water flow when the time has expired. Our unique shower timer is a patented two-phase flow controller that permits a full-flow of water for a time period you select, (5, 8 or 11 minutes) and then restricts the water flow by two-thirds when that time limit expires. You set the full-flow Interval that best fits your lifestyle and lock it in using a special magnetic sensor.
(Excerpt) Read more at canadafreepress.com ...
Kramer enters.
Kramer: Hey. Super’s in my bathroom changing my shower head. Have they
changed your shower head?
Jerry: No, he’s doing mine next. They’re low flow you know.
Kramer: Low flow? Well I don’t like the sound of that.
Kramer exits.
New scene.
Jerry’s apartment. Kramer walks in, his trademark ‘high hair’ is flat.
Kramer: Jerry? Jerry!
Jerry walks in from the back room, his hair is also flat.
Kramer: Wha, you too?
Jerry: Yeah!
Kramer: These showers are horrible. There’s no pressure, I can’t get the
shampoo out of my hair.
Jerry: Me either.
Kramer: If I don’t have a good shower I am not myself. I feel weak and
ineffectual. I’m not Kramer.
Jerry: You? What about me? I got the Tonight Show tonight. I’m gonna have to
shower in the dressing room.
Kramer (leaving): Aw.
Jerry: Where are you going?
Kramer: I gotta find another shower.
Take a look at a satellite Picture of the Earth you Dufus DC Congressional Idiots.......
What do you see ?
WE LIVE ON A WATER PLANET ! !
Whoa....news from Earth to Congress, we got Plenty of water.
New scene.
Hallway outside Newman’s apartment. Kramer knocks on Newman’s door. Newman
answers, with flat hair.
Kramer: They got you too?
Newman: This stuff is awful! I’m not Newman!
Kramer backs away then runs down the hall.
New scene.
Elaine’s office, Kramer rushes in.
Kramer: Oh, Elaine. Yeah.
Elaine: Kramer, you look terrible.
Kramer: Look, I need the keys to your apartment, I gotta take a shower.
Elaine: What’s wrong with your shower?
Kramer: There’s no water pressure.
Elaine: Why don’t you just go see Jerry?
Just as Kramer is about to answer, Mr. Peterman walks past Elaine’s open office
door and pauses.
Kramer: Jerry’s got nothing. Newman’s got nothing. You’re the only one I know
who’s got the good stuff, and I need it bad, baby, cause I feel like I got bugs
crawling up my skin. Now you gotta help me out.
Peterman (busting in): Not on my watch! (Grabs Kramer by the collar) I won’t
have you turning my office into a den of iniquity! Get your fix somewhere else!
(Throws Kramer out and slams the door closed)
As for water flow restrictors, I have a great idea in the era of Obama. Medical supply companies which make prostate scopes and scrapers could remarket them for showers so you can go in and open up the plumbing to restore normal flow in showerheads. That way the manufacturers don't have to worry so much about declining sales because of rationed ObamaCare.
Save water:
-Stop drinking it.
-Stop peeing
‘Nuff said!
Freaking IDIOTS!
Kramer (halfheartedly): Yeah, well I’m really happy for ya.
Jerry: Hey, you’re not giving it to me, man. What’s wrong?
Kramer: I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath?
Jerry: No good?
Kramer: It’s disgusting. I’m sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth.
All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me.
Jerry: Well, you used to sit in that hot tub?
Kramer: Jerry, that was superheated water, nothing could live in that.
From the same people that brought you “low-flow” toilets, that now require you to flush five times, where once used to do.
When I was a kid I used to think about how cool it was going to be to live in the 21st Century with all the revolutionary technology and modern day convieniences...How could I have ever dreamed the reality would be a government monitored existence akin to the pre-industrial age? WTF?
Why not? I understand Nazis understood quite a lot about shower heads...
New scene.
Kramer, Newman and a ‘salesman’ are at the back of a van in an alley.
Salesman: All right, I got everything here. I got the Cyclone F series, Hydra
Jet Flow, Stockholm Superstream, you name it.
Jerry: What do you recommend?
Salesman: What are you looking for?
Kramer: Power, man. Power.
Newman: Like Silkwood.
Kramer: That’s for radiation.
Newman: That’s right.
Kramer (pointing to the largest one): Now, what is this?
Salesman: That’s the Commando 450, I don’t sell that one. What about thi-
Kramer: Well that’s what we want, the Commando 450.
Salesman, Nah, believe me. It’s only used in the circus. For elephants.
Newman: We’ll pay anything. We’ve got the (hands a wad of money to Kramer)
What about Jerry?
Kramer: He couldn’t handle that, he’s delicate.
I can see worse things...imagine when selling your home you have to replace all your appliances with energy efficient ones, do all kinds of energy saving updates etc. all under government mandate. Own a classic car ...look for a new tax because it emits too much carbon when driven. I can even see government heating Nazis driving by your home with thermal detectors and fining people with to much heat loss. Of course these rules will apply only to the little people. Al Gore will continue to live in his mansion and put around in his million dollar houseboat, Hollywood celebs will still have their limos and members of Congress and the Administration will set their thermostats where they want.
New scene.
Helen and Morty are unpacking in Uncle Leo’s apartment.
Helen: It’s nice being back at Leo’s Jerry’s place was too small.
Morty: First Leo breaks up, then he goes back. What the hell’s going on?
There’s a knock at the door.
Morty: Who is it?
Super: It’s the super. We’re installing new low-flow showerheads in all the
bathrooms.
Morty: Low flow? I don’t like the sound of that.
New scene.
Jerry is seeing his parents off as the cab driver loads their bags. They have
flat hair.
Jerry: Well, it’s been a great visit.
Morty: Jerry, I’ll tell ya. The first thing I’m gonna do when I get back to
Florida is take a shower.
Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark.
New scene.
Kramer, in the shower, he’s got the Commando 450 shower head hooked up. He
turns it on, the water shoots out full blast and knocks him backwards. He grabs
the shower curtain for support and tries to reach forward to turn the faucet
off, but the force of the water is too great, he only succeeds in knocking over
a few shampoo bottles. Kramer is eventually pushed back enough by the water to
become entangled in the shower curtain until he eventually falls out of the
shower, and out of camera range.
Become a vegan and you’ll poop nothing but liquid. Problem solved.
Who the Hell but congress thinks that the same water restrictions should be applied in Rural Maine as in Las Vegas. This is asinine.
This can only lead to the Czhower Czar...
czigh.
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