Posted on 06/14/2009 9:39:37 AM PDT by freespirited
A resolution has finally been found for a group of Muslims who are apparently not guilty of being terrorists, not guilty of being enemy combatants, can't be proven in a court of law as having done anything wrong, but are still considered to be "worst of the worst" criminals far too dangerous to be allowed into the United States.
These, of course, are Muslim men of varying ethnic backgrounds and nationalities that were captured in Iraq or Afghanistan or Pakistan, transported to the American Guantánamo Bay Detention Camp in Cuba, and held incommunicado and without trial in unpleasant conditions for years by the Bush Administration.
Now, because of President Obama's Great Gitmo Going Out of Business Sale, Everyone Must Go!
There have been two problems, however. The detainees' original countries (a) refuse to take refunds, or (b) are likely to torture, kill, or otherwise discontinue the brand if they get their hands on any of their expatriates.
So the Obama Administration has come up with an "Islands for Muslims" program - if you can't send your prisoners home, send them off to tropical islands for an extended all-expenses-paid vacation.
At this writing, four Chinese Uighurs have won a free trip to Bermuda. Uighurs are a Turkic ethnic people who live in China's arid western Xinjiang province. They are considered terrorists by China because they are part of a separatist movement, much as some Texans would be considered terrorists for wanting to secede from the United States.
Obama's boys refused to send them back to China for fear that they might be subjected to Chinese torture, such as waterboarding, as opposed to US torture, such as waterboarding.
It has been rumored but not confirmed that the first four former enemy noncombatants to arrive in Bermuda were presented with Bermuda shorts, Bermuda onions and Bermuda triangles.
Meanwhile, negotiations continue over whether Palau will accept a consignment of Uighurs on spec. But there seems to be at least two problems.
First, while news reports describe Palau as "a tiny Pacific island nation somewhere east of the Philippines," nobody except a few surviving American and Japanese World War II veterans, cast members of the CBS reality show Survivor: Palau, and the occasional shipwrecked castaway actually know where it is.
Second is whether Palau is taking in Uighurs as a "Gesture of goodwill and humanity" or as part of "a quid pro quo arrangement in which the US agreed to pay Palau $200 million," both quotes coming from Der Spiegel, a weekly magazine published in Germany, a country that declined to accept delivery on its own fair share of Uighurs.
Palauan President Johnson Toribiong angrily denied the charge while continuing to negotiate with the US for "some financial support" for his pet Uighurs.
This whole process of sending Uighurs, and perhaps other breeds in the future, island hopping across the oceans of the world has libertarian policy wonks suggesting a way to end both wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the new one spilling over into Pakistan, almost immediately:
Just spread the word!
The Palauan visitor's bureau describes its little speck of the globe as "the world's most beautiful tropical paradise" where "Its turquoise seas are legendary."
Bermuda pushes its pink sand beaches "lapped by our dazzling turquoise waves."
Other potential destinations for former fanatical fighters might be Seychelles, which offers "powder-soft sands, turquoise waters and sublime opportunities for swimming, snorkeling or pure relaxation," Kiribati boasting "vibrant blue skies and the turquoise blue water," Aitutaki in the Cook Islands bragging on its "spectacular beaches and crystal clear turquoise waters," and Tuvalu that touts its "vast expanse of ocean interspersed with atolls, magnificent lagoons, coral reefs and small islands." (What, no blue-green H2O for them?)
All we need is a pamphlet with pics of a "retired terrorist" sitting under a coconut tree on a white sand beach munching pineapple pieces while surrounded by nearly naked grass-skirted bronze-skinned beauties with the caption, "Why wait to die to get your 72 virgins? Surrender to the Americans NOW and win a free trip to Paradise!"
Have psyops helicopters launch these leaflets all over al-Qaedaland and, well, you get the picture.
I suspect bullets manufactured by IDF and banned cept for training would solve issue. Issue: To many prisoners.
Solution: Far fewer prisoners like they employ against us.
What we need is a US Muslim NO PRISONERS Program .
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