Posted on 06/04/2009 8:33:58 AM PDT by InvisibleChurch
Did you know you could be responsible for your parents' unpaid bills? Thirty states currently have laws making adult children responsible for their parents if their parents can't afford to take care of themselves. While these laws are rarely enforced, there has been speculation that states may begin dusting them off as a way to save on Medicaid expenses, says SeniorJournal.com.
These laws, called filial responsibility laws, obligate adult children to provide necessities like food, clothing, housing, and medical attention for their indigent parents.
According to the National Center for Policy Analysis:
Twenty-one states allow a civil court action to obtain financial support or cost recovery. Twelve states impose criminal penalties on children who do not support their parents. Three states allow both civil and criminal actions. Generally, most states do not require children to provide care if they do not have the ability to pay. States vary on what factors they consider when determining whether an adult child has the ability to pay. Children may also not be required to support their parents if the parents abandoned them or did not support them.
The passage of the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 made it more difficult to qualify for Medicaid, which means there may be more elderly individuals in nursing homes with no ability to pay for care. In response, nursing homes may use the filial responsibility laws as a way to get care paid for, says SeniorJournal.com.
Source: ElderLawAnswers.com, "States May Take New Look at Requiring Adult Children to Pay for Aging Parents; Boomers could get caught by laws already on books in thirty states," SeniorJournal.com, June 3, 2009.
For text:
http://www.seniorjournal.com/NEWS/Boomers/2009/20090603-StatesMayTake.htm
For more on State and Local Issues:
http://www.ncpa.org/sub/dpd/index.php?Article_Category=40
It all depends on your notion of convenience, and your definition of modern. The term Romantic love comes from, as I’m sure you know, the Romans - with Cupid and his minions striking the heart and making man incapable of resisting the emotions with which he is overcome. Some consider the Romans modern, some consider them ancient. It all depends on your perspective of history and time.
But back to your point - marriages ARE for bearing children and holding the family together - that is the notion and the origin of marriage. Marriage, even in the ‘convenience’ scenario you paint, is the the lynch pin of family and society.
When I speak of convenience in a derogatory manner I speak of the ease with which people step into and out of marriage. (I’m certain you got that, but you wanted to twist it to make your point using an alternate definition of the word. Nice try, but I’m not 12.) Using your historical perspective, even dating to Biblical times, marriages were not to be disposable quantities.
Additionally, I don’t believe I mentioned Romantic love. Your inference is misplaced.
Not saying that you should. My father paid into SS and my mother had two other husbands who paid. Some of them, very well. One is dead and will never see a dime of that money. One is very ill and won't use it for long.
Shouldn't people of my generation be left alone to provide for and protect themselves?
> Then this is between me, my parents and G-d. The government has no say in the matter.
So long as you actually do it, then God will be pleased and the Government won’t feel it needs to do anything.
But you know and I know that the only reason why the Government is getting involved is because they have an opportunity to. And the only reason why they have an opportunity to get involved is because people HAVEN’T been looking after their parents.
That is the Government’s excuse, and it has been handed to them on a silver platter.
Having sex that produces a pregnancy doesn’t make you a parent anymore then sitting in a garage make you a car.
How do I know that? I AM A PARENT! And a darn good one. Parenting comes from the heart, not the penis or the uterus.
I have always believed that when we use the term "family" in this context, it should be about the extended family, or the re-emergence of the "clan concept". I believe that more and more economic factors are going to make it absolutely essential.
But the fact is, I do. And I will continue to unless something changes.
Who counts as your children is not so simple. There are adopted children, step-children, natural born children that one may have not supported, etc. What about men that have been forced to pay child support for children that they did not father?
Horse manure.
Return my parents' lifetime of medicare taxes, with interest, and then maybe I can see it. Until then, go play in the street.
> Horse manure.
> Return my parents’ lifetime of medicare taxes, with interest, and then maybe I can see it. Until then, go play in the street.
Ah, I get it. The Gummint should look after your Mom and Dad ay. Or Volunteers...
Charity is a laudable thing, but it can't be forced. Forgiveness does not mean that one has to fall on their proverbial sword, to sacrifice, in order to forgive. I forgave both of my parents years ago, but I don't have to enable their behavior.
Some of these people need to join AL-ANON and learn the difference between forgiveness and tolerance/enabling.
I love how these people are staunch conservatives, all about personal responsibility, until it comes to elder care. We have a HUGE generation coming to retirement right now and they are, understandably concerned. But back in 1980 (when I was in school) they were telling us then that SS was a Ponzi scheme and wouldn't last. That was almost 30 years ago, so it hasn't been a mystery. Many of the Boomers didn't prepare and now they're down to crunch time and starting to panic. (For those who did prepare, I applaud you for being mature, responsible adults. I'm trying my best to follow in your footsteps.)
To all the elders out there I say this: So the system won't take care of you - now your children have to take care of you? At what point does the conservative value of self-reliance come in? I know, you were promised Social Security and we, as a society, do owe you that debt. Just as we owe our military retirees. Just as we owe our disabled. We made the promises. We took your money and told you that you'd get it back.
But if you didn't know that this was an unsustainable system 30 years ago and started to make contingency plans for that system's collapse, *you* were wrong. My husband and I pay our SS just like everyone else and are making plans to do without it.
And I'd like to ask you one more question: Why would you *want* to hurt your children and your grandchildren, to take their hard-earned money - the food from their mouths? Their college money? Your children's retirement?
I raised my children well and I expect nothing from them but love and respect and to live as mature, responsible adults. They do not OWE me a darn thing. I'd rather die than hurt their ability to provide for their families by forcing them to pay for my utilities and credit card bills. Hell, I'd probably die from shame if it came to that.
Amen to that! I have nothing but utter contempt for the government when it invites itself into such matters and an even lower opinion of people who invite them in for others.
The government is responsible for the break up of the extended family in the first place.
Let’s say Mom and Dad live in a state that requires the adult children to pay for their parents care. But the kids live in a state that doesn’t have this law. Mom and Dad’s state can’t go after the kids in another state. They have no way to drag them into court. Or what if one kid lives in the same state with Mom and Dad but his brothers and sisters don’t. Does that in-state kid get stuck with the whole bill?
> The government is responsible for the break up of the extended family in the first place.
How so?
This is ridiculous. My mother had three husbands who paid into the system for 40+ years each. One died before he collected a dime. One is ill and won't collect for long. My husband and I pay $700 a month. My mother gets $400 a month!! We're already paying, have paid and will continue to pay for that one retiree! Now you want the government to mandate that we give more?
NOBODY will pay for *us*. Not our children, not our parents, not you. It's all on us. By mandating that we have to give more, you cripple our ability to NOT be a burden to OUR children.
I will give my parents what they deserve from me. For my mom, I'll do the best that I can. My father is owed nothing. One night of pleasure and that one sperm does not mean that that man is owed my husband's hard-earned money.
I don’t mean to sound hardhearted, but I totally agree with your viewpoint.
My mom is still alive and has blown through hundreds of thousands of dollars, buying whatever she sees that she wants.
I’ve begged her to put money aside for 30 years, but she refuses.
She had to get a reverse mortgage to pay her credit cards and then she went out and bought a luxury car with a 6 year note! I drive a 20 year old car because I can’t afford a new one.
I have several chronic illnesses, and she plans on ME taking care of her when she can’t take care of herself. There’s no way I can physically do it. When I was still able to work, I put money back for my retirement.
Now the government might take it? I don’t think so.
She also has 0 life insurance,
and no financial cushion.
So in your view, who should look after the elderly? Given that some of them cannot look after themselves? Should they starve? Live in the streets? Be euthanized? Be looked after by Charity? By Volunteers?
What’s your solution?
By the time I'm that old, that'll be the last thing I'll be thinking about.
I’m just saying that the scumbag government can’t confiscate my parents’ money during their entire working lives while promising them old-age health care, and then when the time comes, REQUIRE that their kids’ savings get drained to pay for their old age health care.
All this while shelling it out free, no problem, to oldsters who never had any kids or who raised worthless loser kids? Pure socialism. Personally, I’ll take care of my parents and let the scumbag government off the hook - - but first, they need to return all that money they confiscated, with interest.
FRegards,
LH
This is where the states will require massive new taxes when your parents die.
Start saving now.
Of course the taxes will keep going up so you won’t be able to pay them.
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