Posted on 05/13/2009 8:28:54 PM PDT by Libloather
Alas it is Alahs!
Thursday , May 14 , 2009
- If your hangdog husband cries “Alas” every time his football team loses, know that he is suffering from ‘Alahs’...
Wives and girlfriends of fanatical football fans are probably inured to their partners turning into characters from a Bret Easton Ellis novel whenever their team loses. But supporters of the Gunners may have displayed symptoms of what is being dubbed “Arsenal Lost At Home Syndrome” (ALAHS) after the team were soundly beaten 3-1 last Wednesday night by Manchester United.
Despite the name, the syndrome can affect supporters of any losing team. Tell-tale signs include depression, frenzied sobbing, head-butting the wall, throwing heavy objects through the window (especially the television set during a live match), impotence, and — potentially — premature death. In 2003, a study revealed that after a home defeat, male fatalities from heart attacks and strokes increase by 30 per cent.
“Having your football team lose is an extreme stressor,” explains Dr Daniel Freeman, a consultant clinical psychologist. “Hence, for example, the 25 per cent increase in hospital admissions for heart attacks which was recorded following England’s loss to Argentina in the World Cup penalty shoot-out in 1998.”
Company director Andy Lucey, 36, a fanatical Arsenal supporter for 20 years, has it luckier than many. These days, when his side loses, he merely goes into an unresponsive, catatonic state for two days. “I retreat into my own world if they lose, in a major sulk. I can’t explain how much it hurts. It’s just utter, utter numbness and desolation. You must not attempt to communicate with me or even look at me when this happens. I even unplug the phone so as to guarantee I’m incommunicado.”
His live-in girlfriend, Claire, has learnt to adopt certain coping strategies. “On match days, I become really uptight. It’s too stressful to sit with Andy if Arsenal are on television, so I go upstairs and, from there, listen to him screaming uncontrollably at the set. I pray, ‘Please God, let them win!’.
“If he’s away watching a match, I have to find out the score to gauge how to react when he returns. If Arsenal have lost, he’s really, really bad. You see it in his incredibly tense body language as soon as he opens the door. When this happens, the rules are: don’t make eye contact; don’t speak to him unless spoken to; don’t even try to calm him. Just stay well away.”
According to Rita Wright, a psychodynamic counsellor who regularly treats supporters of the disorder: “The psyche of today’s males has changed dramatically. With modern gender roles confused — men aren’t now automatically the breadwinners and can often be subordinate to high-achieving women — many feel pretty lost, with a fragile sense of self. What little they do have is often redirected onto their football team. In effect, they are Arsenal. Therefore, when Arsenal fails, they feel that they themselves have failed.”
But why should such extreme reactions be unique to football fans? Why, for example, weren’t living rooms around the country full of sullen Roger Federer fans after his defeat in last year’s Wimbledon final?
According to psychiatrist Cosmo Hallstrom, it’s because football is a uniquely primitive, tribal spectator sport. “Loyalty to a club usually starts young when, as a child, you get induced into the ‘tribe’ by receiving your first football shirt; opposing teams are effectively your tribal enemies. The supporters’ zeal can become religious in fervour. As a young doctor in Liverpool, I remember a badly injured young man being admitted. In extremis, he asked to see Bill Shankly instead of a priest.”
Medical professionals are divided over treatment. Some suggest cognitive behaviour therapy to influence those otherwise uncontrollable emotions, others prescribe match-day sex as a quick-fix solution, as this helps boost mood-enhancing oxytocin levels. However, it might prove tricky, as a medical survey suggested that a man’s testosterone levels plunges by 27 per cent immediately after his team’s defeat.
So for those who do take their team’s defeats to heart, the most obvious solution appears to be: why not support a more successful side instead? But to suggest to a football fan that he change his allegiance may well send his blood pressure through the roof.
“In truth, all you can really do is give him a wide berth,” says psychiatrist Dr Shamila Moodley, “and be grateful that the season is nearly over.”
Picking a winner usually helps.
Cheers!
That works for sports wagerers too
Go United!
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