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I have a question for those of you who know more than me. I got married young (20) and ended up in a very abusive situation. He was arrested by the SWAT team after holding me at gunpoint, etc. I was not married in the church but married civily. Was divorced after 3 years of marriage. My Dh and I are both Catholic, both with early marriages that ended up badly. He was abandoned after 6 months, she just wanted out of the house and had strict parents. Dh’s marriage was recognized by the church. When we went to remarry in 1985 undoing it all seemed so much to even try for theat we just were married civily.I’d love to be able to take communion again but really don’t even know whre to start to try to undo all of this.

chris_bdba,

The 1st point is: nothing on earth compares to the reception of Holy Communion

The 2nd point is: yes, indeed, you can get through the process.

My wife & I went through annulment proceedings from our prior marriages. My sister recently went through the process to remarry. I am in an ultra-liberal diocese, and she is in a wonderfully orthodox diocese.

Just begin. Call the diocese to get the packet of information. It will probably take you close to a year, but if you & your husband approach this as a couple handing themselves over to God, desiring to do His will above all else, you will be strengthened accordingly. I will say a Memorare right now that you find your way into a Sacramental marriage.

I have seen a number of people in your position. I know a couple that came into the church several years ago after having to go through a double annulment process (both had been ‘married’ previously). They would tell you it was worth it. You might not get the same result, but it’s better to try then never know.

Talk to a priest. If he doesn’t help you, then find one who will. If you can’t find one, then talk directly to the chancellor of your diocese. Yes, there’s lots of paperwork - tedious, annoying paperwork. But again, one way or another, at least you’ll know where you stand.

You might want to send an email to Edward Peters for advice: http://home.comcast.net/~enpeters/ Depending on your diocese, he may even know someone you could talk to. Seriously, what have you got to lose for an email or a phone call?

What is a Tribunal?

Church law calls for the existence of a Tribunal in every diocese of the world. The Tribunal of the Diocese of Manchester is under the direction of the Bishop of Manchester and is supervised by his delegate, the judicial vicar. He, together with his judges and a staff of specially trained and experienced priests, religious and lay persons, offers assistance to those who request that the Church study a marriage in order to determine whether or not there is any possibility of a declaration of invalidity. The Tribunal then investigates the marriage, and on completion of their investigation, declares whether or not invalidity has been proved.

The Tribunal is, first and foremost, a court of law. The law we adjudicate is the canon law of the Catholic Church, which has as its foundation and its heart the teachings of Jesus Christ in the Gospel. The fundamental law of the Church is the commandment of Jesus to love God above all else and to love one another as ourselves. The procedural laws which govern Tribunals, exist primarily to protect the rights of all persons connected with a Tribunal case by providing a structured process of examining the issues and questions surrounding marriage and divorce.

Common questions

http://www.catholicnh.org/family-life/annulments/faq-annulment/

Your question indicating not receiving Confirmation is a stumbling block also, check with the priest or the Diocese in your area.