Posted on 02/27/2009 5:39:30 AM PST by shove_it
Can Vise-Grips save a life? Sure, and they can replace a stick shift, save a marriage and clamp blood vessels. They can do all this, and so much more. PM shares ten "unbelievable tales" of rescue and ingenuity from Irwin's "Tell Us Your Vise-Grip Story" contest.
In the movie Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood's character hands a novice tool user a roll of duct tape, a can of WD-40 and a pair of Vise-Grips. He tells the youngster that any man worth his salt "can do half his household jobs with these three things."
Well, Clint was right on the money, as Vise-Grip manufacturer Irwin proved in a recent contest called "Tell Us Your Vise-Grip Story." Over the course of four months last year, Irwin received 845 entries from regular folks using Vise-Grips for everything from ad hoc auto fixes to emergency bovine surgery to–perhaps most surprising–marriages whose very existence hinged on a special pair of pliers.
Irwin recently announced three finalists and will soon announce a winner, but PM got to check out all the entries. We've gathered a few of our favorites here–they don't all get our endorsement as proper repairs, and we can't guarantee that they're true, but we certainly applaud the creativity.
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(Excerpt) Read more at popularmechanics.com ...
I really don't want to disclose how many vise grips I have, do you think they will be registered and licensed? Maybe hoarding would be good. At the rate we are going, barter material is going to be in high demand.
Fixed a guys truck using vice grips as a battery cable clamp.
Planned on just getting the truck started, taking the vice grips off and then letting him go on his way.
Sumnavbeech, took off an I never saw those vice grips again.
Yup. That’s better.
I don’t know how many damaged or rounded bolts I’ve gotten off with my trusty old Vis-Grips. I’d be lost without those darn things.
‘I clamped a small one on the broken nub of a clutch handle after some chickens**t kicked my motorcycle over one night. It got me back to town...’
It also makes a fine replacement for a lost shift lever!
I try to carry a small vice grip whenever I ride my motorcycle.
$10 for four vice grips?
I think you got some Chinese made butter soft metal ones.
Ah, but you will have to replace them ALL with the new ones that imprint your serial number onto whatever you choose to grip. You do have your vice grip carry permit, don’t you?
It didn't make him less stupid....but he did agree I was more ruthless.
All schools and national parks are now vice grip free zones.
I simply do not want to know.
I always thought Vice-Grips should be the only tool furnished with Limey bikes of the 60s and 70s...
I think that was supposed to be:
...save a marriage BY CLAMPING blood vessels.
What are Jack Bauer’s top five uses for vise grips? Besides that. :)
Vice Grip model 4LW is a must-have after you round off brake line fittings by not using the proper wrench in the first place. (4” Locking Wrench) Keep one or two around.
“Everyone knows that the correct use for vise-grips is to round the heads of bolts & nuts so they can never be removed.”
You joke, but this is one of my pet peeves - vise-grips are not a substitute for properly fitting wrenches. Even an adjustable wrench is generally better. Vise-grips are invaluable in removing bolts, nuts, and screws whose heads have been previously mangled, though.
In a few months, what you find will be made in China. What's on the shelf is the last of the USA made. I think the US plant has already shut down.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brakedrum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouc...."
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front fender.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a motorcycle upward off a hydraulic jack.
TWEEZRS: A tool for removing wood splinters. PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.
TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.
BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under motorcycles at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Springfield, and rounds them off.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
Nose-Ring Remover Johnny from Monroe, Louisiana: "I was fishing a bass tournament, and my fishing buddy hooked me (accidentally) with not one, but TWO hooks of a treble hook–right in my nostrils. Ouch! It looked like it was going to be a short day, but after some cleaning of the old Vise-Grips, we were able to crush the barbs on both hooks down and push them back OUT of my nose. We even ended up finishing in second place that day!"
(The OTTB mare shrieks softly in horror)
The inventor of the vice-grips lived in a small town in Nebraska. He built a small factory to make it. The factory was bought out by a big company a few years ago. Just last year, they closed down the Nebraska factory. They are being made in China now.
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