Oops...I should have waited til I saw the video. In the video report, they used the same John Wayne quote that came to my mind! I didn’t plagiarize from them, I swear!
It has some interesting stuff not in the news report, like him asking if the officer has a phone...and saying something like, "you're gonna shay I have shlurred speech" ;-)
He also does a good bit of lawyering, even while seemingly drunk. E.g., something like, "If I'd been the one driving, I'd take your field sobriety tests." Some other humorous moments, too...like the dentist comment. :-O