First of all, thanks for replying to many of the posts here. I find the comments by you and others to be very helpful and informative!
I am a happily married man; my wife and I are "empty-nesters". Our kids are scattered around the US: working, going to college, in the military, or "finding themselves".
Now, I would like to say that going to work each day (5 out of 7, anyway) should not depend on my mood. I work because of duty, but also because I enjoy it. Its fulfilling to me. I get alot of my self-esteem from work. When I don't feel like going to work, the mood often fades after my feet get moving. And having a good day or bad day rarely is anticipated in advance, and depends little on my initial early morning mood. (Attitude and the influence it can have is another topic altogether! LOL)
I would like to think that such is the situation with my wife and our love life. And I would hope that most good marriages are similar in a way: the woman enjoys sex, she knows that her mood is not all-important but can be a factor, she gets positive self-image from love-making, and it can be seen as a duty but is much more enjoyable if embraced as a part of life.
Having said all that, I would like to point out that there is maturity to be gained for most men in dealing with not always getting sex when they want it. Legitimate reasons for a woman to negotiate a night off include (IMHO) fatigue, pain, illness, and emotional upset. These go beyond mood. Sure, "emotional upset" is subjective. And every relationship is different. But the kind of roller-coaster-day I am talking about might include: picking up a teenager from jail, sending a son to bootcamp, or hearing about an adult child's pending divorce.
Besides, making love can be simply laying together, holding her, soothing her and nothing more!
Knowing that my wife recognizes my need and will try to be available for me tomorrow night -- or even a few days from now -- is reassuring and it defuses my typical "hurt and angry" reaction.
Flexibility is key in a give and take relationship. I thank God for mine lasting as long as it has and pray that He continues to bless my wife and I with what it takes to grow and prosper.
I am interested in comments from any & all.
Awww! You’re a keeper! :)
You are right as rain my friend.