The Long, Slow, Torturous Death of Zima (No more Zima "beer)

Another American icon brought low by 1) corporate greed and misunderstanding of the market and 2) unions.

If I remember Schlitz put in an additive to cut brewing time and costs. It also cut the taste and their customer base.

The additive was, indeed, introduced to cut brewing time and costs.

I don't know how (or if) it affected the taste, as I didn't drink Schlitz (a "sweet" beer, in brewing terminology). But it's most prominent affect was that, over time, the additive created a precipitate in the beer -- so that it looked like there were flakes of dandruff floating in the beer. Let the glass sit long enough and, eventually, there would be a layer of grayish "silt" at the bottom of the glass.

Most unappetizing. And you can imagine how quickly that turned off all of the Schlitz drinkers in the bar.

Like most family brewers, the brand was destroyed by third or fourth generation scions. The incoming President of Schlitz -- one of the great-grandsons (?) of Jozef Schlitz -- made the decision to:

a.) Incorporate the additive, thereby saving a few pennies a barrel.

b.) And not do any product testing whatsoever. A simple shipping test would have revealed the problem.

Of course, the next step in this tragic chain of marketing catastrophes was the "Drink Schlitz or I'll kill you" advertising campaign.

Same young punk's decision...

By the time that campaign had run its course, Schlitz Brewing was a dead man walking.

Zima... tastes like zhit.

My first sip told me that Zima was nothing more than a cleverly marketed wine cooler.

Which is why Slate and its audience were aware that it still existed...and thought to mark its passing.

I'd bet money that nobody on FreeRepublic has sampled one over the past ten years.

Zima: Brought to you by the same people who gave you new Coke and neo-conservatism.

First beer I ever drank were sips off my dad’s Schlitz back in the early 70’s.

The additive was, indeed, introduced to cut brewing time and costs.

I don't know how (or if) it affected the taste, as I didn't drink Schlitz (a "sweet" beer, in brewing terminology). But it's most prominent affect was that, over time, the additive created a precipitate in the beer -- so that it looked like there were flakes of dandruff floating in the beer. Let the glass sit long enough and, eventually, there would be a layer of grayish "silt" at the bottom of the glass.

Thanks for informing us. Speaking of flakes floating in it, has not one seen flakes in the Steam Brewed (I think) Beer Anchor Steam, that is fine beer but prohibitively expensive, maybe $10 a sixpack.

Anyway back to Schlitz, many of us remember this story.

"Ever heard the story of Mel Famey?

Was he the best pitcher that ever threw a baseball? Back in the 1950s, there were a lot of folks who thought so.
Mel Famey of the Milwaukee Braves was a natural -- a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon whose fast ball blew away the best hitters. His 90 MPH curve ball would start out like it was going to hit the batter's ear, only to break at the last instant and hit the outside corner of the plate for a strike.

His change up made the best hitters in the league cry -- they would swing, drop the bat, and stare incredulously as the ball hit the catcher's mitt.

He was indeed awesome!

Why then, you might ask, is he not in the Hall of Fame? Why haven't you ever heard of him?

Alas, like many others before him, Mel's downfall was demon alcohol.

Ol' Mel really liked to tilt the glass. His drinking became almost legendary around the country, but he never let it affect his pitching until The Braves and the Yankees were in the World Series!

Excitement reigned!

The series was tied at three games apiece, and the Braves were in New York for the seventh and deciding game.

The night before the big event, Mel's thirst got the better of him. He sneaked out of the hotel after curfew, and bought himself two cases of beer.

As you might imagine, the next morning Mel didn't feel too good.

But being the pro that he was, Mel managed to do just fine -- until the bottom of the ninth inning. With the Braves ahead by one run, two out, and the bases loaded, Mel's revelry the night before finally caught up to him.

Eight straight pitches -- eight straight balls. He walked in the tying run and the winning run, thereby, losing the game and the series.

After the game, a reporter went to the jubilant Yankee's clubhouse and spoke to the last two players that faced Mel. "Tell me," he asked, "to what do you attribute this victory over the best pitcher in the major leagues"?

In unison they replied, ... "It was the beer that made Mel Famey walk us"!"

-

BTW, what happened to Ballantine?

Perhaps there will be a resurgence now that Aimee Mann features it in a song: Ballantines. Same album, different song - 31 Today:

"Drinking Guinness in the afternoon,
taking shelter in the black cocoon.

Yeah, buddy!!! More nostalgia:

"Mabel, Black Label"

"Schaefer ... is the ... one beer to have, when you're having more than one" [ah, first one kills the taste buds!]

I "came of age" around the time Budweiser was opening it's brewery in Merrimack NH. Much time was spent by all studying the bottle label to try and determine the plant of origin to avoid getting that nasty "Merrimack Bud." Schlitz was the preferred option - the breakfast of champions: a bowl of cornflakes and a six pack of Schlitz. Then the idiot children took over the company and their tinkering led to an Epic Fail.

The Black Lager has a very Guinness-like flavor, without the heaviness.

It is quite good and has me looking for other schwarzbier offerings.

Let's hope the continued strength of the dollar gets Guinness back to a reasonable price, though!

I’m stuck on micro, a few of which have since been purchased by biggies. I do keep things on a budget these days and admit that Yuengling in longnecks hits the most mark for my criteria: local, domestic, flavor and price. If I’m a snob at all it is in the patriotic sense ~ no I don’t like to pay taxes ~ I no longer drink Mexican beers, of which Modelo Negra was my pick. When the fence goes up I shall enjoy oine again. Don’t think that’ll be any time soon.

Not to completely snub my nose at the large breweries; on the hottest of days of summer I enjoy a very cold and refreshing bottle of Icehouse, which may be produced by Miller.

Let me see,...other faves Lenninkugels Red, which I think may also be owned by a big brewery, Shiner Bock is a fave.

I’m blessed with a location to several micros including Blue Ridge and Wild Goose. The Blue Ridge Porter is excellent. Wild Goose IPA was the brew I selected for my wedding. Baltimore Brewing company produces an exceptional Maerzen, but unless I can find a distributor I do without. Charm City is a dangerous place. The immedeate areas around BBC are blight ridden.

I used to live in Annapolis and they have a great brewery there in the Fordham Brewery at the Ram’s Head Pub!

Favorite import is Smithwicks from Guinness. I will do a Hieney or the occassional Grolsch, the “blondies” are good.

One beer of my youth, which I neglected to mention; while not much of a rogue I began working at a bakery mid to 8 when I was just 16 years young. I did this 7 days a week for the length of the summer and made cash on the barrelhead. It was in the seashore resort where I grew up. The boys and I ran a little backdoor scheme of selling “day olds” to local drunks for beer money. It was a harmess pursuit, not a lot of cash was exchanged for donuts that were destined for disposal. We actually worked more efficiently when we had cash in hand because we knew that if we wanted to drink we had to get our work done first. Several laws were broken during the course of these events, but no harm ever befeel us, since we all rode bikes. We were lucky, too. At that young age I figured that there was a lot of room for trouble and abuse with this substance and I trear it iresponsibly and with much care these days.

Anyway, the brew that took me down one night, and has not come near my lips since was Gennessee Cream Ale. Just typing the name makes me shitter. There are several FReepers who sing the praises of this stuff.

To each his own.

Tried Zima once - its death couldn’t come too soon. Yecch...

That is interesting that you mention that you tasted it. I have to admit, along with never having sung Karaoke or bungi jumped, that I refused to even try Zima.

It’s a chic’s brew.

I did a little Moosehead when I was young. It had a little more punch compared to a lot of the stuff I drank then.

Velvet?

No surprise. I expect they’ll get after my company next.

I’ll have to convince my wife not to sign with them.

Quickest way to ruin any business.

You must be talking “Chimay”, which I love, but can hardly afford as my first choice.

Anyway, yes the Belgian beers are good, I only sample them when I am in a particular saloon. Never remember the names though.

I forgot Strohs. In college I was stuck on a diet of government issue cheese, peanutbutter, bread and ramen noodles, which I prepared in Strohs beer.

Those were the best of times!

Never drank the stuff, PJ. My beer drinking habits changed dramatically from the day I first set foot in Germany in 1977.

I'll drink a domestic brew on occasion, usually Sam Adams or Shiner Bock. During Texas summers, it's just too damn hot to drink my favorite German & European brews. I'm very pleased that Sam Adams brews a light beer.

I don't drink that much nowadays. If I did, I'd buy me one of those Heineken home tap systems (or whatever they call them).

The Long, Slow, Torturous Death of Zima (No more Zima "beer)

Faygs are deeply saddened.

“That is interesting that you mention that you tasted it.”
I was curious. It didn’t even make it past my tastebuds! Awful stuff. I’m not sure even women would drink it.

Pilsner Urquell and Peroni are my favorites.