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The Young and the Restless: Why Infidelity Is Rising Among 20-Somethings
Wall Street Journal ^ | November 27, 2008 | Naomi Schaefer Riley

Posted on 11/28/2008 8:17:31 AM PST by reaganaut1

Between 1991 and 2006, the numbers of unfaithful wives under 30 increased by 20% and husbands by a whopping 45%. These numbers come from a study conducted by David Atkins of the University of Washington Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors.

...

Since 1950, the age of first marriage has risen to 25 from 20 for women and to 27 from 22 for men. "It's more common for people to be hooking up or having relationships with multiple partners" before marriage, says Prof. Laumann.

Even young people who engage in monogamous relationships before marriage may be hurting their prospects for a faithful married life. The habits they form in those premarital relationships are likely to affect their marriages, according to Barry McCarthy, a psychologist and professor at American University in Washington. "The most common way that dating couples end a relationship is by starting another" -- that is, by cheating on their current partner. Moreover, once people have gone through a couple of breakups of long-term relationships, they may not be as worried about what will happen at the end of their marriage. "The costs of exiting have changed," says Mr. Laumann.

...

Even friendships with members of the same sex generally used to fall by the wayside when people got married or, again, change in scale or importance. Ms. Sollee, who is in her 60s, recalls her own generation's attitude toward them: "The idea that these friendships would take any priority over your husband was unheard of." But she cites a number of 20- and 30-something women she knows who still have "girls' nights out" at bars and even go on vacation with their friends and without their husbands.

(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: chaos; destabilization; familyvalues; infidelity; moralasbolutes; traditionalfamily; workingmothers
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1 posted on 11/28/2008 8:17:32 AM PST by reaganaut1
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To: reaganaut1

Fidelity is not understood today. It implies that you should deny yourself something. That’s incomprehensible.

My cousin separated from her husband after less than a year. He didn’t understand the concept of fidelity. It wasn’t cheating UNLESS he got caught. If he got caught, it was considered “disrespect”, not adultery.

When I was protesting at the White House during Clinton’s term, I met a lot of people who thought fidelity was impossible for men.


2 posted on 11/28/2008 8:22:34 AM PST by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: reaganaut1

further decline of American culture.


3 posted on 11/28/2008 8:25:52 AM PST by television is just wrong (obama is going to pay my mortgage for me!)
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To: reaganaut1

If you want an eye opener,go to AshleyMadison.com.

I saw it on TV, went to the site,registered as a guest.

Thousands of women(and men)looking to cheat. Disgusting.


4 posted on 11/28/2008 8:26:11 AM PST by GQuagmire ( A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.)
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To: reaganaut1

On the closing paragraph: ...so, nowadays a guy has to court her friends as well? Or is it just that friends have replaced family?


5 posted on 11/28/2008 8:28:16 AM PST by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: OneWingedShark

Both.


6 posted on 11/28/2008 8:30:52 AM PST by Soothesayer (The United States of America Rest in Peace November 4 2008)
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To: reaganaut1
There are some interesting observations in the article. Most are not surprising, though.

However, this one, a quote from a marriage counselor, was kind of bizarre: She reports that her clients "accidentally started having intimacy with a person. ...". Since it's not a full quote, it's not clear whether the source repeated this statement without qualification - implying that she doesn't consider it nonsense - but it's certainly indicative of the mindset of children and eternal-children.

"Accidentally" is one of the words that gets my children extra chores and no computer privileges.

7 posted on 11/28/2008 8:32:34 AM PST by Tax-chick ("And the LORD alone will be exalted in that day." (Is. 2)
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To: Soothesayer

>Both.

Yay. [/sarc]


8 posted on 11/28/2008 8:33:25 AM PST by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: Tax-chick
She reports that her clients "accidentally started having intimacy with a person. ...".

Look, we were standing in line waiting to get into the Wal*Mart. The crowd was crushing us against the doors. The next thing I knew...

9 posted on 11/28/2008 8:35:50 AM PST by NonValueAdded (once you get to really know people, there are always better reasons than [race] for despising them.)
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To: Tax-chick
"Accidentally" is one of the words that gets my children extra chores and no computer privileges.

Happens all the time. I was just walking down the street, tripped and found myself having intercourse...../s

10 posted on 11/28/2008 8:38:43 AM PST by ScreamingFist (Annihilation - The result of underestimating your enemies. NRA)
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To: NonValueAdded

LOL!

I guess they think it sounds better than, “I have no moral scruples or taste restrictions. I will screw anything available. What, does someone think there’s something wrong with that?”


11 posted on 11/28/2008 8:39:34 AM PST by Tax-chick ("And the LORD alone will be exalted in that day." (Is. 2)
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To: ScreamingFist

Did you also “fall pregnant,” or are you a man?


12 posted on 11/28/2008 8:40:40 AM PST by Tax-chick ("And the LORD alone will be exalted in that day." (Is. 2)
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To: reaganaut1
I dunno. I took a VOW. All that "for better for worse, in sickness in health.... " blah blah blah, was dead SERIOUS to me. I meant "when you don't make my heart go pitter pat anymore..., when I roll over and look at you and think 'MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE? I HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!!!', when the market collapses and I am facing ruin, when some really hot thing comes on to me (well...., IF that ever happened..lol), when our child is born 'defective,' when I lose my job, when I can't just pat your backside and have you want to jump into bed with me anymore, when you gain 20 pounds, when*I* gain 20 pounds......." when all that happens, I will be faithful to you and stay with you and love you....., and when I don't love you and can't stand you...., I will be a hypocrite to my FEELINGS so I can avoid being a hypocrite to these vows..... And I am SWEARING THAT TO GOD!!!!"

That is what I meant in those vows. My young beautiful bride was giggling while I stated them. She was nervous, of course, but she said "I was nervous because you were so INTENSE!!" 30 years later she says "you had a better idea of what you were getting into. I just thought it was about 'being in love.' It is really way more serious than that"

13 posted on 11/28/2008 8:43:37 AM PST by slnk_rules (http://mises.org)
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To: GQuagmire

“If you want an eye opener,go to AshleyMadison.com. I saw it on TV, went to the site,registered as a guest.”

OMG! I was just going to post that! I am single, but I was curious about the site, also, so I registered as a guest to see what it was about. It is unbelievable. I was amazed that some even posted their photos!


14 posted on 11/28/2008 8:47:05 AM PST by toldyou (Even if the voices aren't real they have some pretty good ideas.)
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To: Tax-chick
Did you also “fall pregnant,” or are you a man?

Haven't heard that one...LOL. And yes I'm male. Very nice profile page btw.....

15 posted on 11/28/2008 8:50:49 AM PST by ScreamingFist (Annihilation - The result of underestimating your enemies. NRA)
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To: AppyPappy

Not on the freepline i hope.


16 posted on 11/28/2008 8:52:09 AM PST by sauropod (An expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod's faces - hitchhiker's guid)
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To: AppyPappy
"I met a lot of people who thought fidelity was impossible for men."

That says a lot about them. I think it's the same for a lot of women. I'm not married, but have had plenty of opportunities to be with married women if I would have wanted to. Thing is, every one of those "opportunities" makes me trust women in general less. It's bad karma breaking one of the 10 Big ones and I don't recommend it, regardless of gender. It's all about character.

17 posted on 11/28/2008 8:58:41 AM PST by GBA
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To: ScreamingFist

It’s a locution used in Britain, but also seems to be catching on in U.S. journalism, since it helpfully eliminates any suggestion of responsibility.

And thank you! I’m very fortunate.


18 posted on 11/28/2008 9:01:56 AM PST by Tax-chick ("And the LORD alone will be exalted in that day." (Is. 2)
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To: GQuagmire

Giggety. One of my brother’s idjit friends used this line on his wife: “I can’t help it; b#tches dig me.”


19 posted on 11/28/2008 9:02:42 AM PST by gundog (When the SHTF, it will not be evenly distributed.)
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To: ScreamingFist

One of the business men here in town 50 years ago told how his wife got on the bus in a large city. She tripped and fell backward and before she could get up she made $60.00.;-)


20 posted on 11/28/2008 9:03:49 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar (NEVER FORGET TREASON!)
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