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[Minnesota] Recount gives us stunning view of voters and their wily ways
Minneapolis Star Tribune ^ | November 20, 2008 | JAMES LILEKS

Posted on 11/27/2008 8:19:58 PM PST by rhema

The recount has taught us much. So far we know there are several reasons a ballot can be invalidated.

1. Ballot traced to Mr. Bing Bong 007 Rabbit-Piano, 123 Fake St., Bemidji, Uranus. Really, c'mon. Fake Street was renamed Falsehood Drive 10 years ago. Someone's using old maps.

2. Ballot discovered at the last moment in the back room in a box under some Tiger Beat magazines with Eric Estrada on the cover, and the guy who brings it in also offers to sell you 40 cartons of cigarettes and some DVD players.

3. Ballots certified by a precinct captain who, when asked for his credentials, shouts FOILED! FOILED AGAIN!, shoots a grappling hook into the ceiling using a gun concealed in his utility belt, and is lifted through a skylight to a waiting helicopter above. He promises to come back with proper ID but never does.

4. Ballot is so ideologically inconsistent it appears the dude was just messing with us.

5. Ballot traced to voter who left booth muttering that it must be one of those automatic flush things because he didn't hear nothing and couldn't find a knob.

6. Ballot is spoiled. It's still difficult to understand how people can screw up a ballot. You could understand if there was math involved: If you prefer Sen. Coleman, divide 22 by seven and round up the result to 37 places. If you prefer Al Franken, convert the mean temperature in June to Celsius, then add the rate of inflation. Even then the ballots would be contested, since one side would note that the instructions did not specify whether non-farm core inflation was the baseline, and besides, it's seasonally adjusted. RECOUNT.

(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Minnesota
KEYWORDS: belongsinsenate; coleman; franken; funnyfranken; keepenemiesindc

1 posted on 11/27/2008 8:19:58 PM PST by rhema
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To: rhema

Lileks. Ya gotta love him.


2 posted on 11/27/2008 8:23:26 PM PST by HelloooClareece ("We make war that we may live in peace". Aristotle)
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To: rhema

Ha.


3 posted on 11/27/2008 8:29:48 PM PST by dr_who
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To: rhema

Will this recount ever end?


4 posted on 11/27/2008 8:33:48 PM PST by Dustbunny (Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged. The Gipper)
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To: HelloooClareece

**Lileks. Ya gotta love him.**

Wonder who “Bulletproofs” his cars... the few comments I read shows he probably needs it.!!


5 posted on 11/27/2008 8:37:45 PM PST by gwilhelm56 (Orwell's "1984" .. to Conservatives- a WARNING, to Liberals - a TEXTBOOK)
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To: dr_who

Check these out!

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/?action=edit&current=doubleballot-1.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/?action=edit&current=dot.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/?action=edit&current=crossout.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/?action=edit&current=confusion.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/?action=edit&current=checkballot.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/?action=edit&current=autograph.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/?action=edit&current=arrow.jpg


6 posted on 11/27/2008 8:38:59 PM PST by tallyhoe
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To: rhema

bump for later


7 posted on 11/27/2008 8:50:21 PM PST by BallparkBoys (Republicans spend $100,000 getting women into clothes while Democrats spend $100,000 getting women o)
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To: tallyhoe

very crashy.


8 posted on 11/27/2008 9:07:24 PM PST by Attention Surplus Disorder (Our government is an edifice of artifice.)
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To: gwilhelm56

You can hear him every Friday on the Hugh Hewitt show. He’s a good poet and very entertaining.


9 posted on 11/27/2008 9:16:50 PM PST by HelloooClareece ("We make war that we may live in peace". Aristotle)
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To: rhema

ping


10 posted on 11/28/2008 12:18:57 AM PST by Bellflower (A Brand New Day Is Coming!)
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To: rhema

“3. Ballots certified by a precinct captain who, when asked for his credentials, shouts FOILED! FOILED AGAIN!, shoots a grappling hook into the ceiling using a gun concealed in his utility belt, and is lifted through a skylight to a waiting helicopter above. He promises to come back with proper ID but never does.”

LOL.


11 posted on 11/28/2008 3:08:56 AM PST by DemforBush (Millions of conservatives have got your back, Sarah!)
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To: rhema

Remember MN voters, if you scribble outside your Coleman lines, your vote will be demoted one grade to Franken.


12 posted on 11/28/2008 4:55:26 AM PST by patriciaruth (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1993905/posts)
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To: Dustbunny

I say, with any election: go to court and challenge every Dem ballot. Someone has cheated by the Dems in every election that we know of. Just read John Fund’s book,Stolen Elections.


13 posted on 11/28/2008 9:52:12 AM PST by phillyfanatic ( iT)
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To: rhema

If the vote counters go to the bathroom a lot, they might come back with damp votes stored in ziploks in toilet tanks.

This might be the year to find votes hidden in Taco Bell burrito wrappers................

There’s the usual votes found in used pizza boxes underneath the greasy leftover pepperoni.

If the voting goes on till the late hours, the cleaning crew might find votes when they dust behind-—and on top-—the voting machines.


14 posted on 11/28/2008 10:48:07 AM PST by Liz (The right to be left alone is the beginning of freedom. USSC Justice William O. Douglas)
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To: tallyhoe
http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/doubleballot-1.jpg

http://i424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/dot.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/crossout.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/confusion.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/checkballot.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/autograph.jpg

http://s424.photobucket.com/albums/pp328/tynerd/arrow.jpg

15 posted on 11/28/2008 3:58:24 PM PST by sig226 (1/21/12 . . . He's not my president . . . Impeach Obama . . .)
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To: sig226

If the voter can’t do better’n that, his/her ballot should be invalid.


16 posted on 11/28/2008 4:00:56 PM PST by bannie
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To: bannie

oops!

...CONSIDERED to be invalid.

or

...invalidATED.

(careless me!)


17 posted on 11/28/2008 4:01:56 PM PST by bannie
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