Posted on 11/19/2008 6:36:46 AM PST by AJKauf
Just how popular is Kay Hymowitz’s City Journal essay, “Love in the Time of Darwinism,” which decries the phenomenon of marriage-avoiding man-children? So popular that it was sent to me by no less than three different friends today (all males) and it’s been featured on two different traffic engines this week: Arts & Letters Daily and Real Clear Politics.
Her brief is actually a mild apology for a previous essay in which she reprehended the jaded and loveless men of my generation for, as she puts it here, “whiling away their leisure hours with South Park reruns, marathon sessions of World of Warcraft, and Maxim lists of the ten best movie fart scenes” instead of humming Cole Porter tunes and throwing their jackets over puddles in the street for their intendeds. Courtship is dead, and mankind may well be facing extinction given how many men refuse to grow up, get hitched, and start procreating. What happened to Cary Grant? He turned into Seth Rogen.
The question isn't "Why aren't more men getting married before age 30?" It's "Why are any?" ....
(Excerpt) Read more at pajamasmedia.com ...
It can still be done. My wife and I have been married for thirty one years. My children are all hitched to excellent people. My grandson is one year old, has a good mom and dad (a policeman) and will be worthy of any woman.
Marriage isn’t an ideological practice. It is both traditional and religious. People have to be free of hangups, selfishness, and bitterness to enact a deep and beautiful acquaintance with an individual of the opposite sex. It isn’t like romance novels. It’s a lifelong friendship and partnership.
The three keys to picking a mate in my opinion, are niceness, unselfishness, and compatibility. Too often people don’t look at genuine niceness and goodness in a mate, but all of us in our family selected genuinely nice, happy, well adjusted people after a period of courtship and experimentation. I’m still astonished in my taste in women at age eighteen. I won the prize.
The constant trashing of one another according to ideology is the result of societal decay. We all know that. And we also know what the poorer, nastier, selfish, hypercritical, and difficult to please members of the other sex are like. What surprises me is that given that knowledge, people can’t tell what a wonderful mate looks like and choose poorly so often.
Men and women can be heroic. My wife certainly is. I’m an alcoholic, and the first twelve years of our marriage were no great shakes, followed by three more years of turmoil when I entered recovery. But my wife is of strong faith and character and she waited for me, believing that under all the trouble was the young man she thought she had married.
I’m not suggesting that anyone stay in such a relationship. I just know that because she did, I’m alive today. She saved my life with her goodness, and I’m working on my twentieth year of sobriety.
We can trash each other or we can love each other. Society has made clear what its preference is, with man hating feminism, easy access to free porn, and constant articles and shows that are like nails on chalkboards. It’s up to us to see beyond that.
A planet without women would be no place to live, but I sure hate those seamless black pants that disguise female attributes. The New Orleans Saints and Jacksonville Jaguars wear those things for crying out loud.
Well the honest but simple solution is to get them to church - doesn’t mean they will find a mate there but they need what only God can give!
Mel
Jeff Foxworthy did a great routine on men and women after they breakup.
The woman has to call all her friends and they sit around all day and help her talk about the relationship.
The guy will be working out with best friend at the gym and say, “Hey Bill, I just broke up with Sue.” And his friend would say, “That’s too bad, hey can you spot me?”
I’ve heard that. Yet, the irony is that my personal experience has been the most beautiful, successful women have been the nicest as well. Want bitterness, date a cocktail waitress. It’s guaranteed.
Well said. Recently, at a gathering with a group of guys I don't know very well, although my wife knows their wives very well, sports came up. It came out that I don't like football, baseball, hockey, basketball etc, but I do like bicycling.
Well, after about ten minutes of hearing about what a "faggy" sport it is, the truth started to come out. I was the only one present who actually participated in any sport at all. I was less than merciful from that point on. It's unlikely I'll be invited back.
Geez man, that’s not even close to marriage. I’m going on 18 years of marriage and sex is not infrequent or stale.
“A tough standard, but...Indeed.
Ephesians 6”
A great truth. ;)
>I’ve heard that. Yet, the irony is that my personal experience has been the most beautiful, successful women have been the nicest as well.
Indeed. Of course what REALLY f-cks with your head is when they’re THE SAME PERSON.
I had the same experience when I was playing competitive Table Tennis. I was the only one playing a sport, everyone else was watching the NFL and Basketball and gorging themselves on Cheetos and potato chips.
Now I am trying to become a competitive shooter. Very, very difficult to do in Texas with the great shooters we have. It will be about a year or two before I get everything under control. A great challenge. And I don’t have to depend on my bad knees (rugby injury).
The things staked against you may amount to nothing. As we say in Texas (and live it) “love conquers all”.
Competitive shooting is pretty harsh competition in Kentucky too. The highpower match shooters at the local rifle club around here can do scary things at 200 yards on open sights with customized AR type rifles and the venerable Springfield Armory M1A.
“Why men don’t want to marry...
maybe it has something to do with sex? I mean there have always been loose women, but nowadays it takes no effort at all! Just ‘hook up’ with the nearest skank and you’re done until next time. There is even a buffet of variety!
So unless the seemingly rare man actually wants children and a mate to spend his life with, why not play Xbox all day and make a couple of calls for a booty call at night?”
And as I read this I wonder if anyone these days is worried about STDs?
Condoms don’t take care of everything afterall?
As my great-grandma always used to say..”think of the germs!”
“You cannot have an adventure when your testicles are in the bottom of a woman’s purse.”
Sometime’s they’re not even there:
http://www.australiagift.com/sale/scrotum_1.htm
It always amazes me how many shooters can put several bullets through the same hole at 100 yards. We are a nation of snipers.
I am going to be using peep sights at 800, 900 and 1,000 yards.
Black powder cartridge. Gonna be tough.
I got married at 28, which is about when most of my friends got married, give or take a year or two.
Why should people get married young? Where’s the benefit? I dated a lot of different women, traveled, got an education and a good job before I considered getting married. I’m just not seeing the downside of waiting for your late 20’s or early 30’s to marry.
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