Posted on 11/15/2008 9:37:33 AM PST by SmithL
By the time Shidiva and Sherri Black-White were married at Oakland City Hall in June, they had spent two years trying to help their families adjust to the idea of their lesbian relationship.
Shidiva's relatives in Contra Costa County came around.
"I kind of put it to my family, if you make a decision that you can't deal with my sexuality, you're really going to be losing the relationship you have with me," she said. "Over time, they got used to me."
Sherri's family resisted.
"Mine is still in the working phase," she said. "We're a very opinionated family."
Their uncomfortable long-distance phone calls and holiday dramas were nothing new among gay and lesbian couples seeking recognition and a sense of normalcy from loved ones. But the battle over Proposition 8 also brought their private discussions into the highly charged sphere of state politics. California was as divided on the concept of same-sex marriage as the family of Shidiva and Sherri Black-White was on the concept of their individual one.
"They look at us as the kind of wild, lost kid," Shidiva Black-White said of her relatives. "The ones swinging from the chandelier," her wife added.
But as sisters, daughters and aunts who know the thoughts of their family members better than anyone, the Black-Whites think they found common ground with most of their relatives through frank discussion and honesty.
Having a gay relative "makes them feel different. It makes them have to think," Shidiva Black-White said. "It's easier to stay blind than if you have to look at something."
While her sister will not come to terms with their marriage, said Sherri Black-White, her 80-year-old mother, living in a Southern California convalescent home, came to appreciate that her daughter was the only one in the family who wanted
(Excerpt) Read more at contracostatimes.com ...
Their uncomfortable long-distance phone calls and holiday dramas were nothing new among gay and lesbian couples seeking recognition and a sense of normalcyThey're Playing House
Why am I thinking of a splended Auto da Fe’?
They’re last name is Black-White? Really?!
Is this another MSNBC hoax?
Their last name is Black-White? Really?!
Is this another MSNBC hoax?
It is human nature that when a loved one does something terrible, you immediately look for ways to ameliorate the effects. Heck, almost every murderer on death row has a mother somewhere making excuses for him.
Just because one of your kids get involved in deviant sexual behavior doesn’t make it “normal” or right. If one of my kids did that, they would never be allowed to forget that, while I loved them, what they were doing was extremely wrong, and sick. Nor would I allow them to bring a gay “partner” into family gatherings, sending the message to the little kids in the family that such an arrangement is normal or acceptable. If the kid was still willing to see me on those terms, fine. If not, their choice. But the mere fact that someone you love screws up is not a reason to undo the moral constructs that have lasted for millenia, or to pretend that biological facts no longer matter.
Of course, people who approach the subject from an "intellectual level" will oppose prop 8.
Jesus said from the beginning God made them male and female, and they should leave their parents and cleave to one another. He did not say two women, two men, or more than one man and one woman.
And....? What's her point? Why would they see them as anything else? Did I miss something?
You've got that right! Not under MY roof.
When I was a child, I had a favorite uncle who "lived in sin" wth a woman for years. It would have been wrong not to have him in my life because of this particular sin. We are ALL sinners 9n one way or another.
It's not Holy matrimony. Holy, as in "whole" isn't there.
A man is strong in certain areas where a woman is weak. A woman is strong in areas where a man is weak. When the two come together, all basses are covered. They become "whole."
The homosexuals are all one sided. They are un-whole, or unHoly.
Can we sue obama because of the election results if we don’t like the way people voted?oh gosh never mind voting only counts when the results turn out the way I like them.
Bad company corrupts good character.
Satan is the master of manipulation. Humans have been falling into his trap for eons. Why would you invite him in your door? Why would you deliberately open yourself up? Do you feel you have the strength of Christ to resist the prince of the air?
Sorry. I disagree with you, particularly if there are little children, grandchildren, etc. around. The child could attend —the “partner” or whatever they called the other individual who had agreed to mutual application of friction to genitals in lieu of a normal relationship — would not be permitted. Such a reliationship should not be dignified by acceptance as normal.
My 16-year-old son came to me a couple of months ago and told me he was gay. On some level, I have known since he was a little boy, but hearing him vocalize it was still shocking. He was raised to worship God and to treat his fellow man with respect and good will. I like to think we are a good family.
While I am not happy about this, I recognize that his orientation is not something he chose. When he reaches adulthood, I hope he finds someone with whom he can share his life. I don’t believe it should be considered marriage in the traditional sense, but a civil union would be fine with me.
He is my son and will always be my son. I love him. I may not approve of a person he shares his life with, but I’m not thrilled with my daughter’s husband, either. It does not affect the way I feel about her, and she and her husband are still welcome in my home. The same will hold true for my son and whoever he chooses to spend his life with.
I am sorry for your loss.
Have you considered therapy for him? There are people who learn to overcome these urges.
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I have a sister who is a lesbian. When she visits family in another state, she travels alone, which I think is a kind and thoughtful choice.
Other than that, our family has maintained a relationship with her and her friend. We have never seen any kind of outward sign of their relationship, however.
Yup, one is always ‘the man.’
Second, how’d you like a last name of ‘Black-White’. Especially if you were black.
Third, at least neither of them had a first name of ‘Cookie.’
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