That's interesting, Claud. I went through a similar process. I finally perceived that there is evil in this world that is not fully attributable to selfish people acting to suit themselves. I mean that the evil goes beyond what any profit-pleasure-plaudit-loving person could want, in terms of "rational self-interest," and it drives on and on beyond what even a maddened animal would do.
So the depths of evil are not "bestial." Human beings do not sink to the level of the animal. We sink to the level of the demonic.
And in a paradoxical way, that's why I believe in God. There must be a Supremely Good Being who can and will prevail; because if not, we're already in hell.
I came to belief in a slightly different way. I had fallen away from my Catholic faith and was living in limbo, not sure if God exists at all. As I considered evolution, I could accept that people physically today are in fact different than they were thousands of years ago. It occurred to me that those differences were more likely a product of environment, nutrition and genetics.
But, what struck me and really made me see the hand of God was the fact that though people may differ physically, they do not differ in nature. The sinfulness of man is the same today as it was in the beginning. There is greed, selfishness, lust, anger, envy and all the other things that make men treat other men badly. On the other hand there has always been kindness, generosity, and love.
It made me wonder why is it that only humans can act the way they do, and feel guilt or pride in those actions? Animals behave according to their instincts. They have no malice toward other animals, they just do what they do because they can’t control their instincts. The Bible tells us that the devil caused the fall and that brought sin, death and suffering into the world. The Bible also tells us that God’s law is written on our hearts. That is the only explanation that makes sense to me. When I read Scripture I am ever amazed at the insight into human behavior exhibited in writings thousands of years old. Psychiatrists and psychologists study for years to understand what is so plainly exposed in Scripture.
It is for this reason that I accepted that God exists, that the Bible is His inerrant Word and that I will spend the rest of my life trying to adhere to it.
Right! A animal can kill out of instinct or fear or rabid rage. But it takes a human being to take delight in torturing someone to death and increasing their pain as much as possible. Nothing like that exists in the animal kingdom.
Did you ever read any of Fr. Amorth's exorcism stuff? He talks about the demons possessing someone--they would be tortured beyond belief when the priest prayed the prayers over the possessed. But they still wouldn't leave. He asked them why they stayed, if they were being tortured so much---and they said it was purely out of spite for him and for the possessed. They hated so much they were willing to endure torture to slake their hatred. Chilling.