AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
An atheist was walking through the woods.
‘What majestic trees!
‘What powerful rivers!
‘What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out,
‘Oh my God!’
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
‘You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.’
‘Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?
The atheist looked directly into the light, ‘It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian’?
‘Very well,’ said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
‘Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.’
Now continue the story for this atheist: He pulled out his CCW .44 and put down the bear. Then the PETA nuts harrassed him for the rest of his life, sometimes making him wish he believed in a god so he could pray that the god would smite the nutjobs.